T

AFTER DRYDEN

THREE BLESSINGS

HREE brightest blessings of this thirsty race, (Whence sprung and when I don't propose to trace);

Pale brandy, potent spirit of the night,

Brisk soda, welcome when the morn is bright;
To make the third, combine the other two,
The force of nature can no further go.

Anonymous.

OYSTER-CRABS

HREE viands in three different courses

TH

served,

Received the commendation they deserved.

The first in succulence all else surpassed;
The next in flavor; and in both, the last.
For Nature's forces could no further go;
To make the third, she joined the other two.
Carolyn Wells.

AFTER DR. WATTS

THE VOICE OF THE LOBSTER

IS the voice of the Lobster: I heard him

declare

"You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair.'

As a duck with its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns out his toes.

When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of the

Shark :

But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.

"I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie; The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish as its share of the

treat.

When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,

Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon; While the Panther received knife and fork with

a growl,

And concluded the banquet by

Lewis Carroll.

THE CROCODILE

WOW doth the little crocodile

H° Improve his shining tail,

And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in,
With gently smiling jaws !

Lewis Carroll.

AFTER GOLDSMITH

WHEN LOVELY WOMAN

W

HEN lovely woman wants a favor,
And finds, too late, that man won't
bend,

What earthly circumstance can save her
From disappointment in the end?

The only way to bring him over,
The last experiment to try,
Whether a husband or a lover,
If he have feeling is to cry.

Phabe Cary.

AFTER BURNS

GAELIC SPEECH; OR, "AULD LANG SYNE" DONE UP IN TARTAN

HOULD Gaelic speech be e'er forgot,
And never brocht to min',

SHO

For she'll be spoke in Paradise

In the days of auld lang syne.

When Eve, all fresh in beauty's charms,
First met fond Adam's view,

The first word that he 'll spoke till her
Was, 66 cumar achum dhu.”

And Adam in his garden fair,
Whene'er the day did close,
The dish that he 'll to supper teuk
Was always Athole brose.
When Adam from his leafy bower
Cam oot at broke o' day,

He'll always for his morning teuk
A quaich o' usquebae.

An' when wi' Eve he 'll had a crack,
He'll teuk his sneeshin' horn,

An' on the tap ye 'll well mitch mark
A pony praw Cairngorm.