deformity, and natural indecency, proceeding therefrom. As for example, it unreasonably exhaufts the gain and labour of the calling, when that which should maintain the house and children, and fupport the trade and credit of men, is trifled off in fhew and gay appearance, not only to the fhame, but too often to the ruin of the husband and his dependents. The very heart of industry is broken, when it fees it's fruits fquandred fo lavishly away.

Men also, when they see the end of all their toils fo near, are at last tempted to become ill husbands. It is a certain token of a bad wife, where a woman will go beyond her hufband's just abilities. They should not fo much then think on their family or fortune, as confider how they may best manage their family, without exceeding the bounds of an hufband's eftate. Women call their marriage, changing their condition; they should remember among other fenfes of those words, that they change their former condition for that of their husband, be it what it will, better or worse; and that they must suit their minds to that, which is the only way to thrive in that state.

Pride must be at the bottom, or the occafion of this exceffive coftliness and gaiety; not but that it is willingly believed and allowed, that virtuous people bear as humble minds, under their coftly attire, as under coarse and mean; and it is prefumed, that people are not proud and haughty when they drefs according to their state and condition of life. But they are accused of vanity and pride when people will exceed their quality and eftates; which should be confidered by all women as well as wives, fince the unmarried are as guilty of this extravagance as they that have husbands. And,

In men.

Although these rules feem here to point mostly to women; yet are the men also concerned in them, and may offend against them: the reafon extends to them; and if they tranfgrefs in any of these particulars, they are to blame; and so much more than women, by how much they account themselves the more reasonable and fuperior creatures. Confequently, pride and vanity, and self-conceitedness, upon the score of garb and drefs, vicious and loose defigns, intolerable waste of time, extravagant expence, unde

cent

cent habit, unbefitting their condition and estate, are as much prohibited to men as women by the scriptures, and are truly more shameful in man. Befides,

I cannot here forbear remarking, that it is a great reproach to the wisdom and fobriety of the men, to fee the women reckon themselves fo fure of gaining their defigns and ends upon them, by the little arts in dreffing and adorning themselves in fome extraordinary manner. Is not fuch a practice, in effect, the fame as to fay, these wife and noble creatures, that are so much our mafters by defign of nature, cuftom, and God's commands, and fo fuperior in abilities of body and mind, are yet enfnared, by little fineries, and caught by baits as filly as the fimpleft birds and beafts and fishes are taken? Which is a juft reflection on those who look no farther than appearances, and are governed, not by their judgment or understanding, but by their fancies. Be not deceived: the qualities, which should recommend people to one another, who are to live always together, fhould be fuch as will last and continue: whereas fancy, varying upon every turn, is toơ weak a foundation to build the hopes of being happy upon.

How to fe

affections.

So that fober married women rightly infer, that they are obliged in common prudence, to fecure the affection of their husbands, by putting on fuch good cure the qualities of the mind, as will render them accepta- husband's ble to wife and fober men, even when their beauty is decayed. And where men discern the fear of God, and a fenfe of religion in their wives, and fee them manage their affairs with wisdom and discretion, and discharge the duties of every state, mother, wife, or mistress of a family, with diligence and prudence, they cannot refift fuch qualities as these, which give them grace and comeliness throughout, and render them most lovely in the eyes of all; and will give them grace and favour in the fight of God as well as man.

bridle ones

XIII. A mind oppofite to anger, pride, and fierceness, noi finefs, impatience, and difcontent, is the greatest happiness; it keeps them eafy, and makes them fo How to to all with whom they are converfant. For, most of the misfortunes that befal men, are more or less afflicting, as their minds are prepared to entertain them; the

P

temper.

fame

fame evil that overwhelms one, makes little impreffion upon another man. Some men grow paffionate upon the leaft occafion; a flighting look, a doubtful or angry word, fets them on fire, whilst others bear infults and injuries, with patience and meekness. Some men are calm under great loffes, others rage under little difappointments and croffes: wherefore, a meek and quiet fpirit delivers them from many fufferings which the fierce, angry, and impatient are fubject to.

The feed of all our paffions and humours is born with us; and there is generally a predominancy of fome one humour, that from our infancy bears fway above the reft, which the beft education fometimes is never able to extinguifh quite; for after all care, pains, art, or diligence to root it out, all men must confefs that they feel in nature a tendency and byafs to that fide of corruption. Tho' it is certain, that care and pains, and diligence, and time, and custom, and good confideration, will go a great way to correct any temper whatsoever; and ufe, we say (with reafon enough) is a fecond nature: and tho' people cannot change their tempers all together, yet they have it in their power to change them as far as God requires them to do it, viz. as far as he enables them, by reason and use to change them; and that is to prevent all mischievous effects that flow from unaffifted nature.

meek.

Therefore the apostle exhorts the women to aMuft be dorn themselves with a meek and quiet spirit; that is, not to put off their natural temper, and be immediately changed, but fo to govern themselves, as to be meek and quiet upon all occafions; that by reason and confideration they restrain themselves from falling into bitterness, impatience, and clamour : many cross accidents will happen, and they must meet with many provocations and fevere tryals; and if they do not arm against them, with a patient, prudent fpirit, their fufferings will be doubled: they are not to be infenfible, or ftupid under what befals them, but to prepare that they may do nothing that misbecomes them: herein they are to exercise their reafon and beft abilities: matters are feldom mended by the noise and contention that is raised; The danger they are oft-times made worse, but seldom better; the folly or perverfenefs of men are not cured, nor

of contention.

any

any unlucky accidents remedied, by fury and impatience and those things, by indifcreet management, become too often the occafion of great mischief, which would have done little hurt. Who can compare the provocations of their anger with the events and confequences, with any tolerable fatisfaction? Mifchief and forrow are in the midst thereof therefore they can find no comfort therein. They who are fo near related, can never comfortably reflect on their contentions with their partners and fuperiors, to whom they owe filence at least, and fome obedience.

;

On the contrary, the event declares, that a meek and quiet fpirit is their best wisdom and greatest interest; for, the learning people get by contention, is commonly too dearly paid for; they only find, that they have weakly loft, what they perchance may never recover again.

In the cafe

band.

How to re

It is a proper queftion to ask, how a woman is obliged to behave herself, when she is fure her husband wanders from her bed? or, how far fhe is to exercise a of an adulmeek and quiet fpirit on fuch ill ufage, has been terous hufthe fubject of many enquiries: and we learn both from the laws of God and man, that in fuch a cafe, where it can be proved clearly, the laws of the land will, if she pleases, release her from her bands, they will leave her at liberty. But this liberty is not to be humourfome; if she again cohabit with her husband, she is prefumed to have forgiven his fin, and his former trefpafs will not be a juft occafion for her leaving him, when the thinks fit. This will prove her religion and discretion; for, fhe is undoubtedly obliged to claim him. procure the converfion of her husband from his evil ways, by all the methods she poffibly can; but she is not obliged to hurt herself on his account: as far as admonitions can bring him to a sense of his injurious ufage, and occafion his amendment, fhe will do well to endeavour it. She may alfo engage fober people, fpiritual guides, or grave relations, to work his converfion, and never with fecrecy and tenderness suffer fin, when she can remove it. Yet if the be probably affured, that the man is of a churlish humour, fuch a fon of Belial, that the very discovery of his wicked folly will harden him in his fin, or provoke him to use her cruelly, as fome beaftly

P 2

beaftly tempers do, she is not in that cafe obliged to endeavour to reclaim him; for, fince it is the hope of reclaiming a wandring husband, that can make fuch an attempt reasonable, and fuch hope is vain in the before fuppofed cafes, there lies no obligation on the woman to attempt it; fhe is then at liberty to confult her peace and happiness, in the best manner fhe is able. For, fo long as the prudent wife takes care that her connivance or diffembled ignorance, her compliance and her filence, or her patience and fubmiffion, give no countenance to her wicked partner to profecute his unlawful love, she is without blame; she is not obliged to make herself miserable, by endeavouring to make him good.

The advan

tages of a

nefs to her

felf.

A wife may permit what the cannot prevent, and by fuch permiffion defend herself from wrongs; wife's meek- fhe may lawfully enjoy all the advantage that a living with her husband can afford her, and avoid the mischiefs that would attend a feparation: in this cafe they have need of a meek and quiet fpirit, nothing can ftand them in better ftead. Repeated injuries falling quick upon hafty difpofitions, cut off all hope of reconcilement, and ftop the way to repentance, which might have been prevented by prudent management; gentle ufage wins most upon hardned minds; men are fooner perfuaded by filence, when it fhews fubmiffion without fullennefs, than by angry arguments. Superiority is claimed by man as his prerogative, which a meek quiet fpirit will yield to him, even while it difarms him; fubmiffion vanquishes without refiftance, whereas one difpute begets another. Meeknefs, patience, and forbearance are of that natural force as to remove all matter of contention; they excite a sense of shame, and gratitude, and honour, and leave the tranfgreffor to confider the evil he has done.

SUNDAY XI. CHAP. XI.

I. The Duty of HUSBANDS to Wives. II. Of Adultery in Hufbands. III. Of Provifion for Wives. IV. Of Brotherly Love. V. Of the Duty of SERVANTS to their

Mafters.