If we continue to

we must be very watchful against. wait for the vision of peace, it will come, it will not tarry long. But God is not to be limited, nor his times prescribed to him. We know our way, and the end of our journey but as to our stations of especial rest, we must wait till God points them out as he did to the Israelites in the wilderness. When David comes to God in his distress, he says to him-" O Lord, thou art my God; my times are in thy hand." His times of trouble and of peace, of darkness and of light, he acknowledges to be in the hand, at the disposal of God. I never have been disappointed when enabled by faith to cast myself, however my feelings might be, on his promise, and with humble patience and resignation, to wait for the enjoyment of the thing promised."

The two last entries in the Diary for this year are the following. The one accounts for the other. The effects of the spiritual sloth mentioned in the first, are described and lamented in the second.

"Nov. 19. I have great reason to be more watchful against spiritual sloth and carnal ease.-I thank God I daily find my longing desires stronger after God. I can say that his service is perfect freedom. But I am not sufficiently importunate in secret prayer.

'Dec. 27. I am just emerged out of a most dismal state of spiritual darkness; in which I have been a whole month enveloped. I was brought into this miserable state by sin acting in various ways by sloth, carelessness, earthly mindedness, &c, having been unwatchful and having lost in a great degree the spirit of increasing prayer. I walked defenceless and exposed to the incursion of every enemy. I was brought out of this state in the following manner: I was one evening lamenting my

miserable condition, seeing nothing within me but the utmost confusion and disorder, every member of the old man acting as strong as ever, and myself totally unable to make any vigorous stand against its operations. Thus exposed like a ship without a pilot to the mercy of the boisterous wind of temptation, I wondered that the Lord bore with me, a wretch so vile and ungodly, and did not dash me in pieces at once, or leave me wholly to follow my own devices. 'Why is it, Lord,' said I, 'that I am thus spared? Surely, I must have wearied infinite patience.' He replied with infinite condescension and love-Thou hast an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, who is a propitiation for thy sins. It is impossible to express the effect which the astonishing sight of the Saviour thus presented to my view, had on my mind. I wept, I rejoiced, I adored and was greatly humbled under a sense of my sinfulness, abhored myself and repented in dust and ashes. My darkness was immediately dispelled, and all was order, peace and joy within.

"From this dispensation of God's providence towards me, I hope, I have learned the following lessons more perfectly than I was before instructed in them:-1. That in me dwelleth no good thing;-2. That it is absolutely impossible to keep up intercourse and communion with God, without unremitting watchfulness, without being instant in prayer, without being spiritually minded, without having the affections fixed on things above, without having on the whole armour of God and making a continual stand against the world, the flesh and the devil ;-3. That without Christ I can do nothing;-4. That he who walketh in darkness and hath no light may safely trust in the Lord, and stay

upon his God; for the vision will come and will not tarry. God is abundant in truth and will never disappoint any that depend on his promises."

All this will appear to many as the effusion of madness, the confession of a deranged mind. But the same charges may be made against the Psalmist. For did he not mourn when God hid from him the light of his countenance, and did he not rejoice when God restored to him the joy of his salvation? If we by our words or actions were to offend one on whom all our happiness in life depended, and were such a one to withdraw his support and refuse to us the enjoyment of his society, what would be our feelings? Or were a dutiful son thus to draw on himself the displeasure of a kind Father? would not sorrow and sighing fill his heart? And what would be the effect produced on his mind by regaining his Father's favour? His heart would expand with joy, his countenance would brighten with delight. Are actions and words the only things that offend God? Are not the actions of the mind as much known to him as those of the body, and are they not as much noticed by him? The greatest sins that we commit are those of the mind and heart. The alienation of the affections from God, is of all the greatest offence, that excites his displeasure. To give way then to any thing that may tend to alienate them must be displeasing in his sight. "Neglect of prayer and worldly mindedness, the sins complained of above, have clearly this tendency. No wonder then that his servant was deprived of his comforts. There is nothing in his case but what is in every respect reasonable, perfectly consistent with scripture and even with common sense. To those who have never known

God, never held any communion with him, what is said is perfectly unintelligible. Marvel not, O Christian, if a blind world ridicule thee, as well as hate thee, and count thy life madness: for wisdom is not justified, not owned as right and just, but by her own children

SECT. IV. Diary and Letters during 1781.

At the beginning of every year we find that Mr. C. entered some useful reflections in his Diary. There is scarcely any other season more calculated to suggest serious and profitable thoughts. To record such as may occur, may be of no small benefit. It is a good way to impress them on our minds. The best thoughts are often lost by our not having taken the trouble to arrange and write them down. A well-regulated mind, whose operations are attended to, is itself a rich library. Its thoughts, properly directed, will collect together large stores of valuable materials. But the difficulty is to direct them, to put them in a right course and to keep them in it. To rule an empire is an easier matter than to rule the thoughts: but it is an attainment at which every Christian should assiduously aim. If it be not needful nor desirable to have them at all times exercised with intenseness and regularity; yet it is both needful and desirable, it is both our duty and our interest, to have them at all times employed on what is useful and profitable; and this is a good way to prevent them from being engaged in vain, empty and sinful things. To pre-occupy the ground is much better than to have the trouble to regain it from intruders. It is not often that the new year's day suggests to our minds ideas as suitable and as excellent as the following.

*

H

Jan. 1, 1781. Another year is past! How faithful is God to his promises! He is abundant in goodness and truth. He hath preserved me one year more, like the three young men in the fiery furnace. Lord, what shall I render to thee for all thy benefits!-What progress have I made the last year in the divine life? Any at all? Are my corruptions weaker and the graces of the Spirit grown stronger within me? I hope I can say, that in general the power of my corruptions is in some degree weakened; though at particular seasons the enemy makes most terrible inroads and threatens my utter destruction. This calls for continual watchfulness and prayer. I am never safe, but when I live near to God and depend by faith on him only for safety.

"Am I pleased and satisfied with my Master and his service? I can truly answer, I am : nor would I change either the one or the other for millions of worlds I see nothing here below worth living for, but serving God by doing good. My heart, unless it deceives me, desires supremely and continually no other glory, honour, or happiness than what is to be found in God's service. He is a good Master. I love his service. Lord, nail mine ears to the door of thine house forever. O that I could love thee more and serve thee better! I am slothful. I am negligent. But the Lord hath hitherto borne with me. Give me the honour and privilege of serving thee and living to thee forever. Enable me to double my diligence this year, and press more earnestly after holiness; and live more wholly to thy glory! Amen."

In Mr. C.'s correspondence at this time there are evident proofs of the difficulty he found in restraining the exorbitancy of his affections towards the Lady who