D. PEDRO. Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing: but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us. I will in the interim undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.

344

LEON. My Lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings.

CLAUD. And I, my Lord.

D. PEDRO. And you too, gentle Hero?

HERO. I will do any modest office, my Lord, to help my cousin to a good husband.

350

D. PEDRO. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest
husband that I know. Thus far can I praise him.
He is of a noble strain, of approv'd valour, and con-
firm'd honesty. I will teach you how to humour your
cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick; and
I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick
that, in despite of his quick wit and his queasy stomach,
he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this,
Cupid is no longer an archer: his glory shall be our's,
for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and
I will tell you my drift.1
[exeunt.

ACT II

Sc. I

SCENE II. The Same.

Enter JOHN the Bastard and BORACHIO.

D. JOHN. It is so: the Count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato.

BORA. Yea, my Lord; but I can cross it.

D. JOHN. Any bar, any cross, any impediment will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his affection3 ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? BORA. Not honestly, my Lord; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me.

ACT II
Sc. II

D. JOHN. Shew me briefly how.

ΤΟ

BORA. I think I told your Lordship, a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waitinggentlewoman to Hero.

D. JOHN. I remember.

BORA. I can at any unseasonable instant of the night appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber-window. D. JOHN. What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage?

18

BORA. The poison of that lies in you
to temper.1 Go you
to the Prince your brother; spare not to tell him that
he hath wrong'd his honour in marrying the renown'd
Claudio (whose estimation do you mightily hold up) to
a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero.

2

D. JOHN. What proof shall I make of that?
BORA. Proof enough to misuse the Prince, to vex
Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato. Look you
for any other issue?

D. JOHN. Only to despite them: I will endeavour any
thing.

29

BORA. Go, then; find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro and the Count Claudio alone: tell them that you know that Hero loves me; intend3 a kind of zeal both to the Prince and Claudio (as in a love of your brother's honour, who hath made this match, and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozen'd with the semblance of a maid) that you have discover'd thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial; offer them instances; which shall bear no less likelihood than to see me at her chamber-window; hear me call Margaret Hero; hear Margaret term me Claudio ; and bring them to see this the very night before the intended wedding: for in the meantime I will so fashion the matter that Hero shall be absent; and there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty that jealousy shall be call'd assurance, and all the preparation overthrown.

D. JOHN. Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practice. Be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats.

49

BORA. Be you constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me.

D. JOHN. I will presently1 go learn their day of marriage.

ACT II
Sc. II

[exeunt.

BENE. Boy!

SCENE III. LEONATO's Orchard.

Boy. Signior?

Enter BENEDICK and a Boy.

BENE. In my chamber-window lies a book: bring it hither to me in the orchard.

Boy. I am here already, Sir.

BENE. I know that; but I would have thee hence, and here again. [Exit Boy.] I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours to love, will, after he hath laugh'd at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling in love: and such a man is Claudio. I have known when there was no music with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabor and the pipe: I have known when he would have walk'd ten mile a-foot to see a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an honest man and a soldier; and now is he turn'd Orthography; his words are a very fantastical banquet— just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted, and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me he shall never make me such a fool. One woman is fair-yet I am well; another is wise— yet I am well; another virtuous-yet I am well: but till all graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise, or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen3 her fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble-or not for an angel;* of good discourse,

ACT II
Sc. III

an excellent musician, and her hair shall be of what colour it please God. Ha, the Prince and Monsieur Love! I will hide me in the arbour. [withdraws.

Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, and LEONATO, followed
by BALTHAZAR and Musicians.

D. PEDRO. Come, shall we hear this music?
CLAUD. Yea, my good Lord. How still the evening is,
As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony!

D. PEDRO. See you where Benedick hath hid himself?
CLAUD. O, very well, my Lord: the music ended,
We'll fit the hid fox with a pennyworth.1

D. PEDRO. Come, Balthazar, we 'll hear that song again.
BALTH. O, good my Lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music any more than once.

2

D. PEDRO. It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.
BALTH. Because you talk of wooing, I will sing;
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy; yet he wooes,
Yet will he swear he loves.

D. PEDRO.

Nay, pray thee, come,

Or, if thou wilt hold longer argument,

Do it in notes.

BALTH.

Note this before my notes:

There's not a note of mine that's worth the noting.

40

50

D. PEDRO. Why, these are very crotchets that he speaks;
Note notes, forsooth, and nothing!
[Music.

BENE. [aside.] Now, Divine Air! now is his soul ravish'd!
Is it not strange that sheep's-guts should hale souls out
of men's bodies? Well, a horn for my money, when
all's done.

BALTHAZAR sings.

Sigh no more, Ladies, sigh no more,

Men were deceivers ever:

One foot in sea and one on shore,

To one thing constant never.

Then sigh not so,

But let them go,

60

And be you

blithe and bonny;

Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.

Sing no more ditties, sing no moe1
Of dumps2 so dull and heavy:
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since Summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, etc.

D. PEDRO. By my troth, a good song.
BALTH. And an ill singer, my Lord.

70

D. PEDRO. Ha, no, no, faith; thou singest well enough for a shift.

78

BENE. [aside.] An he had been a dog that should have howl'd thus, they would have hang'd him: and I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief! I had as lief have heard the night-raven, come what plague could have come after it.

8

D. PEDRO. Yea, marry, dost thou hear, Balthazar? I pray thee, get us some excellent music; for to-morrow night we would have it at the Lady Hero's chamber-window. BALTH. The best I can, my Lord.

D. PEDRO. Do so: farewell. [Exeunt BALTHAZAR and Musicians.] Come hither, Leonato. What was it you told me of to-day, that your niece Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick?

4

91

CLAUD. [aside to DON PEDRO.] O, ay: stalk on, stalk on; the fowl sits. [aloud.] I did never think that lady would have lov'd any man.

LEON. No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she should so doat on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviours seem'd ever to abhor.

BENE. [aside.] Is 't possible? Sits the wind in that corner? LEON. By my troth, my Lord, I cannot tell what to think of it but that she loves him with an enrag'd affection-it is past the infinite of thought!

D. PEDRO. May be she doth but counterfeit.

CLAUD. Faith, like enough.

ΙΟΙ

LEON. O, God, counterfeit! There was never counterfeit

1 comparative of many; as contrasted with more, comparative of much.

3 variously identified: as screech-owl, bittern, night-heron, etc.

by the stalking horse, but promises an easy shot.

2 sad songs.

4 i.e. is not alarmed

27

ACT II

Sc. III