URS. And did they bid you tell her of it, Madam?
HERO. They did entreat me to acquaint her of it;
But I persuaded them, if they lov'd Benedick,
To wish him wrestle with affection,
And never to let Beatrice know of it.

URS. Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman
Deserve as full as fortunate a bed

As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?

HERO. O God of love! I know he doth deserve
As much as may be yielded to a man:
But Nature never fram'd a woman's heart
Of prouder stuff than that of Beatrice;
Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her eyes,
Misprising1 what they look on; and her wit
Values itself so highly that to her

All matter else seems weak: she cannot love,
Nor take no shape nor project of affection,

And therefore certainly it were not good

She knew his love, lest she made sport at it.

HERO. Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw

man,

How wise, how noble, young, how rarely-featur'd,
But she would spell him backward: if fair-fac'd,

She would swear the gentleman should be her sister;
If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antic,
Made a foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;

If low, an agate very vilely cut;

If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;

If silent, why, a block moved with none.
So turns she every man the wrong side out;
And never gives to truth and virtue that
Which simpleness and merit purchaseth.

URS. Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.
HERO. No, nor to be so odd and from all fashions
As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable:
But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,
She would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me
Out of myself, press me to death with wit!

1 contemning.

II: E

2 turn him 'wrong side out.'

* differing from.

33

ACT III
Sc. I

Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,
Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly :
It were a better death than die with mocks,
Which is as bad as die with tickling.
URS. Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say.
HERO. No; rather I will go to Benedick,

And counsel him to fight against his passion.
And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders
To stain my cousin with: one doth not know
How much an ill word may empoison liking.
URS. O, do not do your cousin such a wrong!
She cannot be so much without true judgment
(Having so swift and excellent a wit
As she is priz'd to have) as to refuse
So rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.
HERO. He is the only man of Italy,

Always excepted my dear Claudio.

URS. I pray you, be not angry with me, Madam,
Speaking my fancy: Signior Benedick,
For shape, for bearing,1 argument,2 and valour,
Goes foremost in report through Italy.

HERO. Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.
URS. His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
When are you married, Madam?

HERO. Why, every day-to-morrow. Come, go in :
I'll shew thee some attires; and have thy counsel
Which is the best to furnish me to-morrow.

URS. [aside.] She's lim'd, I warrant you: we have caught
her, Madam.

HERO [aside.] If it prove so, then loving goes by haps
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

[Exeunt HERO and URSULA.

BEATRICE advances.

BEAT. What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:

1 deportment.

2 intellectual quality. 3 taken as with bird-lime.

IIO

If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly.1

[exit.

ACT III
Sc. I

SCENE II. LEONATO'S House.

Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO. D. PEDRO. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.

CLAUD. I'll bring you thither, my Lord, if you'll vouchsafe me.

D. PEDRO. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new
gloss of your marriage as to shew a child his new coat,
and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with
Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his
head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath
twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string, and the little
hangman2 dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as
sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper-for
what his heart thinks his tongue speaks.

BENE. Gallants, I am not as I have been.
LEON. SO say I: methinks you are sadder.
CLAUD. I hope he be in love.

13

D. PEDRO. Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in him to be truly touch'd with love: if he be

sad, he wants money.

BENE. I have the toothache.

D. PEDRO. Draw it.

BENE. Hang it !

CLAUD. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

D. PEDRO. What! sigh for the toothache?

LEON. Where is but a humour or a worm?

20

BENE. Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it.

CLAUD. Yet say I he is in love.

28

D. PEDRO. There is no appearance of fancy3 in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman to-day, a Frenchman to-morrow; or

1

2 on hearsay.

as an endearment; cf. rogue, rascal, hussy, etc.
✦ caprice, whimsey.

8 love.

35

ACT III
Sc. II

in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. CLAUD. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: 'a brushes his hat o' mornings: what should that bode?

D. PEDRO. Hath any man seen him at the barber's? CLAUD. No; but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuff'd tennis-balls.

LEON. Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

D. PEDRO. Nay, 'a rubs himself with civet: can you
smell him out by that?

CLAUD. That's as much as to say the sweet youth's in love.
D. PEDRO. The greatest note of it is his melancholy.
CLAUD. And when was he wont to wash his face ?1
D. PEDRO. Yea; or to paint himself? for the which I
hear what they say of him.

50

CLAUD. Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and govern'd by stops.

D. PEDRO. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

CLAUD. Nay, but I know who loves him.

D. PEDRO. That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

CLAUD. Yes; and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him.

61

D. PEDRO. She shall be buried with her heels upwards.2 BENE. Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old Signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobbyhorses must not hear.

[Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO. D. PEDRO. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. CLAUD. "Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this play'd their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

70

Enter JOHN the Bastard.

D. JOHN. My Lord and Brother, God save you!

D. PEDRO. Good den,1 Brother.

D. JOHN. If your leisure serv'd, I would speak with you.
D. PEDRO. In private?

D. JOHN. If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear;
for what I would speak of concerns him.

CLAUD. What's the matter?

D. JOHN. Means your Lordship to be married tomorrow?

D. PEDRO. You know he does.

80

D. JOHN. I know not that, when he knows what I know. CLAUD. If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

D. JOHN. You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me2 by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well; and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage-surely suit ill spent and labour ill bestow'd.

D. PEDRO. Why, what's the matter?

90

D. JOHN. I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shorten'd (for she hath been too long a-talking of), the lady is disloyal.

CLAUD. Who? Hero?

D. JOHN. Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero.

CLAUD. Disloyal!

97

D. JOHN. The word is too good to paint out her wicked

think you of a Wonder not till

ness; I could say she were worse:
worse title, and I will fit her to it.
further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall
see her chamber-window enter'd, even the night before
her wedding-day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed
her; but it would better fit your Honour to change
your mind.

CLAUD. May this be so?

D. PEDRO. I will not think it.

D. JOHN. If you dare not trust that you see, confess not

ACT III

Sc. II