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Ther. I would thou didst itch from head to foot, and I had the scratching of thee, I would make thee the loathsom'st scab in Greece.
Ajax. I say, the proclamation.
Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his greatness, ąs Cerberus is at Proferpina's beauty. I, that thou bark'st at him.
Ajax. Mistress Therfites.
Ther. He would pound thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a bisket. Ajax. You whorson cur.
[Beating him. Ther. Do, do. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch.
Ther. Ay, do, thou sodden-witted lord; thou hast no more brain than I have in my elbows: ap Alinego may tutor thee. Thou scurvy valiant ass, thou art here but to thrash Trojans, and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit, like a Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thor.
Ajax. You dog.
[Beating bim. Ther. Mars his ideot! do rudeness, do camel, do, do.
S CE N E II.
Enter Achilles and Patroclus.
Achil. Why how now, Ajax ? wherefore do you this ?
Ther. You see him there, do you?
Ther. Nay look upon him.
Achil. I know that, fool.
Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters, his evafions have ears thus long. I have bobb’d his brain more than he has beat my bones: I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his Pia Mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord (Achilles) Ajax, who wears his wit in his belly, and his guts in his head, I'll tell you what I say of him.
Achil. What? (Ajax offers to strike him, Achilles interposes.
Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, for whom he comes to fight.
Achil. Peace, fool:
Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not: he there, that he, look you there.
Ajax. O thou damn'd cur, I shall ----
Ajax, I bad the vile owl go learn me the tenure of the pro clamation, and he rails upon me.
Ther. I serve thee not.
Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not voluntary, no man is beaten voluntary; Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress
. Ther. Ev’n so---- a great deal of your wit too lies in your
sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of your brains, he were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
Achil. What, with me too, Therfites ?
Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Neftor, (whose wit was mouldy ere their Grandsires had nails on their toes,) yoke you like draft oxen, and make you plough up the wair.
Achil. What! what!
Ther. I will see you hang'd like clotpoles, ere I come any more to your tents. I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools
[Exit. Pat. A good riddance.
Achil. Marry this, Sir, is proclaim'd through all our host,
Ajax. Farewel! who shall answer him?
Achil. I know not, 'tis put to lotery; otherwise He knew his man.
Ajax. O, meaning you: I'll go learn more of it.
S CE N E III.
Priam's Palace in Troy.
Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks:
Hect. Though no man lefser fears the Greeks than I,
+ dismes tenths,
Troi. Fie, fie, my brother :
Hel. No marvel, tho' you bite so sharp at reasons,
Troi. You are for dreams and slumbers, brother priest,
Heft. Brother, she is not worth
Troi. What's ought, but as 'tis valu’d?
Heft. But Value dwells not in particular will,
To + These two lines are misplaced in all the folio editions.