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SCENE VIII.

Drum and Colours.

Enter Bertram, Parolles, Officers and Soldiers attending.

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That with the plume: 'tis a moft gallant fellow;
I would he lov'd his wife: if he were honefter,

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Dia. 'Tis pity, he's not honeft: yond's that fame knave That leads him to thefe paces; were I his lady,

I'd poison that vile rascal.

Hel. Which is he?

Dia. That jackanapes with scarfs. Why is he melancholy? Hel. Perchance, he's hurt i'th' battle.

Par. Lose our drum!

Mar. He's fhrewdly vex'd at something: look, he has spied us.

Wid. Marry, hang you!

[Exeunt. Ber. Par. &c.

Mar. And your courtesy, for a ring-carrier !

Wid. The troop is paft: come, pilgrim, I will bring you

Where you fhall hoft: of enjoyn'd penitents

There's four or five, to great faint Jaques bound,

Already at my house.

Hel. I humbly thank you:

Please it this matron, and this gentle maid,

To eat with us to-night, the charge and thanking
Shall be for me; and, to requite you further,

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1 Lord. Nay, good my lord, put him to't: let him have his way.

2 Lord. If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no more in your respect.

I Lord. On my life, my lord, a bubble.

Ber. Do you think, I am fo far deceiv'd in him?

1 Lord. Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, without any malice, but to speak of him as my kinsman; he's a most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner of no one good quality worthy your lordship's entertainment.

2 Lord. It were fit you knew him; left, reposing too far in his virtue, which he hath not, he might, at some great and trusty business, in a main danger, fail you.

Ber. I would I knew in what particular action to try him.

2 Lord. None better than to let him fetch off his drum; which you hear him fo confidently undertake to do.

1 Lord. I, with a troop of Florentines, will fuddenly furprize him; fuch I will have, whom, I am fure, he knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink him fo that he fhall suppose no other but that he is carried into the leaguer of the adverfaries, when we bring him to our own tents: be but your lordship prefent at his examination; if he do not, for the promise of his life, and in the highest compulsion of base fear, offer to betray you, and deliver all the intelligence in his power against you, and that with the divine forfeit of his foul upon oath, never truft my judgment in any thing.

2 Lord. O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; he says, he has a ftratagem for't: when your lordship fees the

bottom

bottom of his fuccefs in't, and to what metal this counterfeit lump of oar will be melted, if you give him not Tom Drum's entertainment,* your inclining cannot be removed. Here he

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1 Lord. O, for the love of laughter, hinder not the humour of his defign; let him fetch off his drum in any hand.

Ber. How now, monfieur? this drum fticks forely in your difpofition.

2 Lord. A pox on't, let it go; 'tis but a drum.

Par. But a drum! is't but a drum? a drum fo loft! there was excellent command! to charge in with our horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own foldiers.

2 Lord. That was not to be blamed in the command of the service; it was a disaster of war that Cæfar himself could not have prevented, if he had been there to command.

Ber. Well, we cannot greatly condemn our fuccefs: fome dishonour we had in the lofs of that drum; but it is not to be recover'd.

Par. It might have been recover'd.

Ber. It might; but it is not now.

Par. It is to be recover'd; but that the merit of service is feldom attributed to the true and exact performer, I would have that drum, or another, or hic jacet.

Ber. Why, if you have a ftomach to't, monfieur, if you think your mystery in ftratagem can bring this inftrument of honour again into his native quarter, be magnanimous in the enterprize, and go on; I will grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you speed well in it, the duke fhall both speak of it, and extend to you what further becomes his greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your worthiness.

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Holingfhed in his defcription of Ireland mentions a lord mayor of Dublin fo hofpitable that his porter durft not give the meanest man that reforted to his houfe Tom Drum's entertainment; which is, Says he, to hale a man in by the head, and thrust him out by the shoulders.

Par.

Par. By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it.
Ber. But you must not now flumber in it.

Par. I'll about it this evening; and I will presently pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; and, by midnight, look to hear further from me.

Ber. May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it?

Par. I know not what the success will be, my lord; but the attempt I vow.

Ber. I know, thou'rt valiant, and, to the poffibility of thy foldiership, will subscribe for thee: farewel.

Par. I love not many words."

SCENE XI.

[Exit.

I Lord. No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a strange fellow, my lord, that fo confidently seems to undertake this business, which he knows is not to be done; damns himself to do it, and dares better be damn'd than to do't?

2 Lord. You do not know him, my lord, as we do; certain it is, that he will steal himself into a man's favour, and, for a week, escape a great deal of discoveries; but when you find him out, you have him ever after.

Ber. Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of this, that fo feriously he does addrefs himself unto?

2 Lord. None in the world; but return with an invention, and clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we have almost embofs'd him, you fhall fee his fall to-night; for, indeed, he is not for your lordship's refpect.

1 Lord. We'll make you fome fport with the fox ere we uncafe him. He was firft fmok'd by the old lord Lafeu: when his difguife and he are parted, tell me what a sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this very night.

2 Lord. I must go and look my twigs; he fhall be caught. Ber. Your brother he fhall go along with me.

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2 Lord.

2 Lord. As't please your lordship: I'll leave you. Ber. Now will I lead you to the house, and fhow you The lass I spoke of.

I Lord. But, you fay, fhe's honest.

Ber. That's all the fault: I spoke with her but once,
And found her wondrous cold; but I fent to her,
By this fame coxcomb that we have i̇'th' wind,
Tokens and letters, which fhe did refend;
And this is all I've done: fhe's a fair creature,
Will you go see her ?

I Lord. With all my heart, my lord.

SCENE XII.

Enter Helena, and Widow.

Hel. If you mifdoubt me that I am not she, I know not how I fhall affure you further,

But I fhall lose the grounds I work upon:

Wid. Though my eftate be fallen, I was well born,
Nothing acquainted with these businesses,

And would not put my reputation now
In any staining act.

Hel. Nor would I wish you.

First, give me truft, the count he is my husband,
And what to your fworn counsel I have spoken,
Is fo from word to word; and then you cannot,

By the good aid that I of you fhall borrow,
Err in beftowing it.

Wid. I fhould believe you,

For you have show'd me that which well approves
Y'are great in fortune.

Hel. Take this purse of gold,

And let me buy your friendly help thus far,

Which I will overpay, and pay again

[Exit.

[Exeunt.

When I have found it. The count wooes your daughter,

Lays down his wanton fiege before her beauty,

Refolves

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