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Mal. Come, fir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is, it should be so return'd: if it be worth ftooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.


Vio. None of my lord's ring? why, he fent her none;
I left no ring with her : what means this lady?
Fortune forbid, my outfide fhould have charm'd her!
She made good view of me; indeed, so much,
That, fure, methought, her eyes did let her tongue;
For fhe did speak in starts distractedly :
She loves me, fure; the cunning of her paffion
Invites me in this churlish meffenger.
I should be man, if it be fo: as 'tis,
Poor lady, the were better love a dream.
Difguife! I fee, thou art a wickedness,
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
How eafy is it, for the proper false
In women's waxen hearts to fet their forms!
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we;
For, fuch as we are made, ev'n fuch we be.
How will this fadge? my mafter loves her dearly;
And I, poor minifter, fond as much on him;
And fhe, miftaken, feems to dote on me:
What will become of this? as I am man,
My state is desperate for my master's love;
As I am woman, now, alas the day!
What thriftless fighs fhall poor Olivia breathe!
O time, thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me t'unty.



Olivia's house.

Enter fir Toby, and fir Andrew.
PPROACH, fir Andrew: not to
midnight, is to be up betimes; and diluculo furgere,

be abed after

Sir To.


thou know'ft,

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Sir And. Nay, by my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up late, is to be up late.

Sir To. A falfe conclufion: I hate it as an unfill'd can: to be up after midnight, and to go to bed then, is early; so that, to go to bed after midnight, is to go to bed betimes. Does not our life confift of the four elements?

Sir And. 'Faith, fo they fay; but, I think, it rather confists of eating and drinking.

Sir To. Thou'rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink. Maria! I fay; a stoop of wine.

Enter Clown.

Sir And. Here comes the fool, i'faith.

Clo. How now, my hearts? did you never see the picture of we three?

Sir To. Welcome, afs, now let's have a catch.

Sir And. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had rather than forty fhillings I had fuch a leg, and so sweet a breath to fing, as the fool has. Infooth, thou waft in very gracious fooling laft night, when thou fpok'ft of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians paffing the equinoctial of Queubus; 'twas very good, i'faith: I sent thee fix pence for thy leman, hadst it?

Clo. I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no whip-stock, my lady has a white hand, and the myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.

• He means to fay, impocket thy gratuity. Sir T. H. [Perhaps, impeticoat thy gratuity. The fools were kept in long coats, to which the allufion is made. See Johnson.]

Sir And. Excellent! why, this is the beft fooling, when all is done. Now a fong.

Sir To. Come on; there is fix pence for you: let's have a fong.
Sir And. There's a teftril of me too; if one kinght give a —
Clo. Would you have a lovesong, or a fong of good life?
Sir To. A lovefong, a lovefong.

Sir And. Ay, ay; I care not for good life.

Clown fings.

O miftrefs mine, where are you roaming?
O, ftay and hear; your true love's coming,
That can fing both high and low.
Trip no further, pretty fweeting;
Journeys end in lovers' meeting,

Every wife man's fon doth know.

Sir And. Excellent good, 'faith!
Sir To. Good, good.

Clo. What is love? 'tis not hereafter:
Prefent mirth bath prefent laughter:
What's to come, is ftill unfure.
In delay there lies no plenty,

Then come kifs me, fweet, and twenty :
Youth's a stuff will not endure.

Sir And. A mellifluous voice, as I am a true knight.

Sir To. A contagious breath.

Sir And. Very fweet and contagious, i'faith.

Sir To. To hear by the nofe, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? fhall we roufe the night-owl in a catch, that will draw three fouls out of one weaver? fhall we do that?

Sir And. An you love me let's do't: I am a dog at a catch.
Clo. By'r lady, fir, and fome dogs will catch well.
Sir And. Moft certain: let our catch be, Thou knave.


Clo. Hold thy peace, thou knave, knight. I shall be constrain'd in't, to call thee knave, knight.

Sir And. 'Tis not the first time I have conftrain'd one to call me knave. Begin, fool; it begins, Hold thy peace. Clo. I fhall never begin, if I hold my peace. Sir And. Good, i'faith: come, begin.

[they fing a catch.


Enter Maria.

Mar. What a catterwauling do you keep here? if my lady have not call'd up her fteward Malvolio, and bid him turn you out of doors, never truft me.

Sir To. My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians; Malvolio's a Peg-a-Ramfey, and Three merry men be we. Am not I confanguinious? am not I of her blood? Tilly valley, lady! there dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady. [finging.

Clo.. Befhrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling. Sir And. Ay, he does well enough if he be difpos'd, and fo do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.



Sir To. O, the twelfth day of december.
Mar. For the love o'god, peace.

Enter Malvolio.

Mal. My masters, are you mad? or what are you? have you no wit, manners, nor honefty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? do you make an alehouse of my lady's house, that ye fqueak out your cofiers' catches without any mitigation or remorfe of voice? is there no refpect of place, perfons, nor time in you?

Sir To. We did keep time, fir, in our catches. Strike up. Mal. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you, that she harbours you as her uncle, she's nothing ally'd to your diforders. If you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors, you are welcome to the houfe: if not, an it


would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid you farewel.

Sir To. Farewel, dear heart, fince I must needs be gone.

Mal. Nay, good fir Toby.

Clo. His eyes do fhow his days are almost done.
Mal. Is't even fo?

Sir To. But I will never die.

Clo. Sir Toby, there you lie.
Mal. This is much credit to you.




Sir To. Shall I bid him go:

Clo. What an if you do?

Sir To. Shall I bid him go, and spare not?
Clo. O, no, no, no, you dare not.

Sir To. Out o'tune, fir, ye lie: art thou any more than a fteward? doft thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Clo. Yes, by faint Anne; and ginger shall be hot i'th' mouth


Sir To. Thou'rt i'th' right. Go, fir, rub your chain with crums. A ftoop of wine, Maria.

Mal. Miftrefs Mary, if you priz'd my lady's favour at any thing more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule; she shall know of it, by this hand.


Mar. Go, shake your ears.

Sir And. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a hungry, to challenge him to the field, and then to break promise with him, and make a fool of him.

Sir To. Do't, knight; I'll write thee a challenge : or I'll deliver thy_indignation to him by word of mouth.

Mar. Sweet fir Toby, be patient for to-night; fince the youth of the duke's was to-day with my lady, fhe is much out of quiet. For monfieur Malvolio, let me alone with him: if I do not gull him into a nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie ftraight in my bed: I know, I can do it.




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