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Mal. Come, fir, you peevishly threw it to her; and her will is, it should be so return'd: if it be worth stooping for, there it lies in your eye; if not, be it his that finds it.

Vio. None of my lord's ring? why, he sent her none;
I left no ring with her : what means this lady?
Fortune forbid, my outside should have charm’d her!
She made good view of me; indeed, so much,
That, sure, methought, her eyes did let her tongue;
For she did speak in starts distractedly:
She loves me, sure; the cunning of her passion
Invites me in this churlish messenger.
I should be man, if it be so: as ’tis,
Poor lady, she were better love a dream.
Disguise! I see, thou art a wickedness,
Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.
How easy is it, for the proper false
In women's waxen hearts to set their forms !
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we;
For, such as we are made, ev’n such we be.
How will this fadge? my master loves her dearly;
And I, poor minister, fond as much on him;
And she, mistaken, seems to dote on me:
What will become of this ? as I am man,
My state is desperate for my master's love;
As I am woman, now, alas the day!
What thriftless fighs shall poor Olivia breathe !
O time, thou must untangle this, not I;
It is too hard a knot for me t’unty.



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Olivia's house.

Enter for Toby, and fir Andrew. Sir To. PPROACH, fir Andrew : not to be abed after

midnight, is to be up betimes; and diluculo furgere, thou know'st,

Sir And. Nay, by my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up late, is to be


late. Sir To. A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilld can: to be up after midnight, and to go to bed then, is early; so that, to go to bed after midnight, is to go to bed betimes. Does not our life consist of the four elements ?

Sir And. 'Faith, so they say; but, I think, it rather consists of eating and drinking.

Sir To. Thou’rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink. Maria! I say; a stoop of wine.

Enter Clown. Sir And. Here comes the fool, i'faith.

Clo. How now, my hearts ? did you never see the picture of we three?

Sir To. Welcome, ass, now let's have a catch.

Sir And. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breaft. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to fing, as the fool has

. Insooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spok'st of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus; 'twas very good, i'faith : I sent thee fix pence for thy leman, hadft it?

Clo. I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no whip-stock, my lady has a white hand, and the myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.

He means to say, impocket thy gratuity. Sir T. H. [Perhaps, impeticoat thy gratuity. The fools were kept in long coats, to which the allusion is made. See Johnson.]



Sir And. Excellent ! why, this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now a song.

Sir To. Come on; there is fix pence for you: let's have a song.
Sir And. There's a testril of me too; if one kinght give a -
Clo. Would you have a lovesong, or a song of good life?
Sir To. A lovesong, a lovesong:
Sir And. Ay, ay; I care not for good life.

Clown fings.
O mistress mine, where are you roaming ?
0, stay and hear; your true love's coming,

That can fing both high and low.
Trip no further, pretty weeting ;
Journeys end in lovers' meeting,

Every wise man's son doth know.
Sir And. Excellent good, 'faith!
Sir To. Good, good.
Clo. What is love ? tis not hereafter :

Present mirth bath present laughter :

iVhat's to come, is still unsure.
In delay there lies no plenty,
Then come kiss me, sweet, and twenty:

Youth's a stuff will not endure.

Sir And. A mellifluous voice, as I am a true knight.
Sir To. A contagious breath.
Sir And. Very sweet and contagious, i’faith.

Sir To. To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed ? shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch, that will draw three souls out of one weaver ? shall we do that?

Sir And. An you love me let's do't: I am a dog at a catch.
Clo. By’r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.
Sir And. Most certain : let our catch be, Thou knave.


Clo. Hold thy peace, thou knave, knight. I shall be constrain’d in't, to call thee knave, knight.

Sir And. 'Tis not the first time I have constrain'd one to call
me knave. Begin, fool; it begins, Hold thy peace.

Clo. I shall never begin, if I hold my peace.
Sir And. Good, i' faith: come, begin.

[they fing a catch.

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Enter Maria.
Mar. What a catterwauling do you keep here ? if my lady
have not call’d up her steward Malvolio, and bid him turn you
out of doors, never trust me.

Sir To. My lady’s a Cataian, we are politicians; Malvolio's
a Peg-a-Ramsey, and Three merry men be we. Am not I
consanguinious ? am not I of her blood ? Tilly valley, lady! there
dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady.

Clo.. Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling:

Sir And. Ay, he does well enough if he be dispos’d, and
so do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more
Sir To. O, the twelfth day of december.

Mar. For the love o’god, peace.

Enter Malvolio.
Mal. My masters, are you mad? or what are you? have you
no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this
time of night? do you make an alehouse of my lady's house,
that ye squeak out your cofiers' catches without any mitigation
or remorse of voice? is there no respect of place, persons, nor
time in you?

Sir To. We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Strike up.
Mal. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade

that she harbours you as her uncle, she's nothing
ally’d to your disorders. If you can separate yourself and your
misdemeanors, you are welcome to the house : if not, an it


me tell

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you farewel.

would please you to take leave of her, she is very willing to bid Sir To. Farewel, dear heart, since I must needs be gone.

Mal. Nay, good fir Toby.
Clo. His eyes do show his days are almost done.
Mal. Is't even fo?
Sir To. But I will never die.

Clo. Sir Toby, there you lie.
Mal. This is much credit to you.
Sir To. Shall I bid him go?

(singing Clo. What an if you do? Sir To. Shall I bid bim go, and spare not ? Clo. O, no, no, no, you dare not.

, Sir To. Out o’tune, fır, ye lie: art thou any more than a steward? dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?

Clo. Yes, by faint Anne; and ginger shall be hot i'th' mouth too.

Sir To. Thou’rt i'th' right. Go, sir, rub your chain with crums. A stoop of wine, Maria.

Mal. Mistress Mary, if you priz'd my lady's favour at any thing more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule; she shall know of it, by this hand. [Exit.

Mar. Go, shake your ears.

Sir And. "Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a hungry, to challenge him to the field, and then to break promise with him, and make a fool of him.

Sir To. Do't, knight; I'll write thee a challenge: or I'll deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.

Mar. Sweet fir Toby, be patient for to-night; since the youth of the duke's was to-day with my lady, she is much out of quiet. For monsieur Malvolio, let me alone with him : if I do not gull him into a nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my bed : I know,


: I can do it. Vol. II.




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