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With voice far-fetch'd from hollow throat profound
And more than mortal was the infernal sound.
"Sweet boy, who seem'st for glorious deeds
design'd,

O come and leave that clyster pipe behind;
Cross this prophetic hand with silver coin,
And all the wealth and fame, I have, is thine”—
She said he (for what stripling cou'd with-
stand?)

Straight with his only six-pence grac'd her hand.
And now the precious fury all her breast
At once invaded, and at once possess'd;
Her eye was fix'd in an ecstatic stare,
¡And on her head uprose th' astonish'd hair :
¿No more her colour, or her looks the same,
But moonshine madness quite convuls'd her
frame,

While, big with fate, again she silence broke,
And in few words voluminously spoke.

"In these three lines athwart thy palm I see, Either a tripod, or a triple-tree,

For, Oh! I ken by mysteries profound,
Too light to sink, thou never can'st be drown'd-
Whate'er thy end, the Fates are now at strife,
Yet strange variety shall check thy life-
Thou grand dictator of each public show,
Wit, moralist, quack, harlequin, and beau,
Survey man's vice, self-prais'd, and self pre-
ferr'd,

[well,

And be th' Inspector of th' infected herd;
By any means aspire at any ends,
Baseness exalts, and cowardice defends,
The chequer'd world's before thee-go-fare-
Beware of Irishmen-and learn to spell."
Here from her breast th' inspiring fury flew :
She ceas'd—and instant from his sight withdrew.

NOTES VARIORUM.

Th' astonish'd hair:] This passage seems to be an imitation of the Sybil in the sixth book of Virgil;

Subito non vultus, non color unus
Nec comtæ mansere comæ.

Fir'd with his fate, and conscious of his worth;
The beardless wight prepar'd to sally forth.
But first 'twas just, 'twas natural to grieve)
He sigh'd and took a soft pathetic leave.
"Farewell, a long farewell to all my drugs,
My labell'd vials, and my letter'd jugs;
And you, ye bearers of no trivial charge,
Where all my Latin stands inscrib'd at large:
Ye jars, ye gallipots, and draw'rs adieu,
Be to my memory lost, as lost to view,
And ye, whom I so oft have joy'd to wipe,
Th' ear-sifting syringe, and back-piercing pipe,
Farewell-my day of giory's on the dawn,
And now,-Hillario's occupation's gone."

Quick with the word his way the hero made,
Conducted by a glorious cavalcade;
Pert Petulance the first attracts his eye,
And drowsy Dulness slowly saunters by,
With Malice old, and Scandal ever new,
And neutral Nonsense, neither false nor true,
Infernal Falsehold next approach'd the band
With *** and the Koran in her band.
Her motley vesture with the leopard vies,
Stain'd with a foul variety of lies.
Next spiteful Enmity, gangren'd at heart,
Presents a dagger, and conceals a dart.

NOTES VARIORUM.

poets, who generally give the reader some idea of what is to ensue, without unfolding the whole. Thus we find in Virgil,

Bella, horrida bella,

Et Tybrim multo spumantem sanguine cerno and again

Alius Latio jam partus Achilles.

And in the sequel of this work, I believe, it will be found, that as Æneas had another Achilles, so our hero has had as formidable an adversary.

Farewell, a long farewell,] The ingenious Mr. L-der says that the following passage is taken from a work, which he intends shortly to publish by subscription, and he has now in the press a Hil-pamphlet, called Mr. Smart's Use and Abuse of the Moderns. But, with his leave, this passage is partly imitated from cardinal Wolsey's speech, and from Othello.

and is admirably expressive of the witch's prophetic fury, and ushers in the prediction of lario's fortune with proper solemnity.— This note is by one of the Eolists, mentioned with honour in the Tale of a Tub.

Be th' Inspector, &c.] When the distemper first raged among the horned cattle, the king and council ordered a certain officer to superintend the beasts, and to direct that such, as were found to be infected, should be knocked on the head. This officer was called the Inspector, and from thence I would venture to lay a wager, our hero

derived his title.

BENTLEY, Junior.

Beware of Irishmen, &c.] It is extremely probable that our poet is intimately acquainted with the classics; he seems frequently to have them in his eye, and such an air of enthusiasm runs through his whole speech, that the learned reader may easily perceive he has taken fire at some of the prophecies in Homer and Virgil.— The whole is delivered in breaks, and unconnected transitions, which denote vehement emotions in the mind; and the hint here concerning the Irish is perfectly in the manner of all great epic

is worthy of Hillario, pertness, dulness, scandal Neutral Nonsense, &c.]The train here described, and malice, &c. being the very constituents of

an hero for the mock heroic, and it is not without propriety that nonsense is introduced with the epithet, neutral; nonsense being like a Dutchman, not only in an unmeaning stupidity, but in the art of preserving a strict neutrality. This neutrality may be aptly explained by the following epigram,

Word-valiant wight, thou great he shrew,
That wrangles to no end;
Since nonsense is nor false nor true,

Thou'rt no man's foe or friend. Falsehood,] This lady is described with two books in her hand, but our author chusing to preserve a neutrality, though not a nonsensical one, upon this occasion, the Tories are at liberty to fill up this blank with Rapin, Burnet, or any names

On th' earth crawls Flatt'ry with her bosom bare, And Vanity sails over him in air.

Such was the groupe-they bow'd and they ador'd,

And hail'd Hillario for their sovereign lord. Flush'd with success, and proud of his allies, Th' exulting hero thus triumphant cries. "Friends, brethren, ever present, ever dear, Home to my heart, nor quit your title there, While you approve, assist, instruct, inspire, Heat my young blood, and set my soul on fire; ¡No foreign aid my daring pen shall chuse, But boldly versify without a Muse, I'll teach Minerva, I'll inspire the Nine, Great Phoebus shall in consultation join, And round my nobler brow his forfest laurel twine." He said and Clamour, of Commotion born, Rear'd to the skies her ear afflicting horn,

NOTES VARIORUM.

that will fit the niches; and the Whigs may, if they please, insert Echard, Higgons, &c. But why, exclaimeth a certain critic, should falsehood be given to Hillario?-Because, replieth Macularius, he has given many specimens of his talent that way. Our hero took it into his head some time since to tell the world that he caned a gentleman whom he called by the name of Mario; what degree of faith the town gave him upon that occasion, may be collected from the two following lines, by a certain wag who shall be nameless.

To beat one man great Hill was fated; What man?-a man that he created. The following epigram may be also properly inserted here.

What H-ll one day says, he the next does deny,

And candidly tells us-'tis all a damn'd lye: Dear doctor-this candour from you is not wanted;

For why shou'd you own it? 'tis taken for granted.

Crawls Flattry, &c.] Our hero is as remarkable for his encomiums, where it is his interest to commend, as for his abuse, where he has taken a dislike; but from the latter he is easily to be bought off, as may be seen in the following excellent epigran.

An author's writings oft reveal, Where now and then he takes a meal. Invite him once a week to dinner, He'll saint you, tho' the vilest sinner. Have you a smiling, vacant face, He gives you soul, expression, grace. Swears what you will, unswears it too; What will not beef and pudding do? Without a Muse, &c.] No the devil a bit!I am the only person that can do that!-My poems, written at fifteen, were done without the assistance of any Muse, and better than all Smart's poetry.-The Muses are strumpetsthey frequently give an intellectual gonorrhoeaCourt debt not paid-I'll never be poet laureate. -Coup de grace unanswerable-Our foes shall knuckle-five pounds to any bishop that will equal this-Gum guiacum for Latin lignum vitæ. 6

While Jargon grav'd his titles on a block,
And styl'd him M. D. Acad. Budig, Soc.
But now the harbingers of fate and fame
Signs, omens, prodigies, and portents came.
Lo! (though mid-day) the grave Athenian fowl,
Eyed the bright Sun, and hail'd him with a howl,
Moths, mites, and maggots, fleas, (a numerous
crew!)

And gnats and grubworms crouded on his view,
Insects! without the microscopic aid,
Gigantic by the eye of Dulness made!
And stranger still-and never heard before!
A wooden lion roar'd, or seem'd to roar.
But (what the most his youthful bosom warm'd,
Heighten'd each hope and every fear disarm'd)
On an high dome a damsel took her stand,
With a well freighted Jordan in her hand,
Where curious mixtures strove on every side
And solid sounds with laxer fluids vied—

NOTES VARIORUM.

Adam the first Dutchman-victorious stroke for old England-Tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee. Oratory-Right-Reason-Chapel, Saturday

13th of January, and old style for ever Jargon grav'd &c.] Jargon is here properly introduced graving our hero's titles, which are admirably brought into verse, but the gentleman who wrote the last note, Mr. Orator H-ley, takes umbrage at this passage, and exclaimeth to the following effect, "Jargon is meant for me. There is more music in a peal of marrowbones and cleavers than in these verses.—I am a logician upon fundamentals.-A rationalist,— lover of mankande, Glastonbury thorn,-huzza boys.-Wit a vivacious command of all objects and ideas.-I am the only wit in Great Britain." See Oratory Tracts, &c 10036.

Patience, good Mr. Orator! we are not at leisure to answer thee at present, but must observe that jargon has done more for our hero, than ever did the society at Bordeaux, as will appear from the following extract of a letter sent to Martinus Marcularius, by a fellow of that society:

l'honneur le 12me passé. A l'égard de ce MonJ'ai bien reçu la lettre, dont vous m'avez fat sieur Hillario, qui se vante si prodigieusement chez vous, je ne trouve pas qu'il est enrollé dans notre société, & son nom est parfaitment inconnu ici. J'attends de vous nouvelles, &c. Moth, mites, &c.]

The important objects of his future speculations! [eyes, O would the sons of men once think their And reason given 'em but to study flies. M. MACULARIUS. Dulness made] This passage may be properly illustrated by a recollection of two lines in Mr. Pope's Essay on Criticism.

As things seem large which we through mists descry,

Dulness is very apt to magnify.

Wooden lion roar'd,] Not the black on in Salisbury-court, Fleet-street, where the New Craftsman is published, nor yet the red lion at Brentford, but the beast of the Bedford, who may truly be said to have been alive, when animated

Lo! on his crown the lotion choice and large,
She soused-and gave at once a full discharge.
Not Archimedes, when with conscious pride,
"I've found it out! I've found it out!" he cry'd,
Not costive bardlings, when a rhyme comes pat,
Not grave Grimalkin when she smells a rat :
Not the shrewd statesman when he scents a
plot,

Not coy Prudelia, when she knows what's what,
Not our own hero, when (O matchless luck!)
His keen discernment found another Duck;
With such ecstatic transports did abound,
As what he smelt and saw, and felt and found.
"Ye gods, I thank ye, to profusion free,
Thus to adorn, and thus distinguish me,
And thou, fair Cloacina, whom I serve,
(If a desire to please is to deserve,)
To you I'll consecrate my future lays,
And on the smoothest paper print my soft
essays."

No more he spoke; but slightly slid along,
Escorted by the miscellaneous throng.

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A full discharge,] Reader, do not turn up your nose at this passage! it is much more decent than Pope's-Recollect what Swift says, that a nice man has filthy ideas, and let it be considered this discharge may have the same effect upon our hero, as a similar accident had upon a person of equal parts and genius.

Renew'd by ordure's sympathetic force,
As oil'd by magic juices for the course,
Vig'rous he rises from th' effluvia strong,
Imbibes new life and scours and stinks
along.

POPE'S Dunciad. Archimedes, &c.] As soon as the philosopher here mentioned discovered the modern save-all, and the new invented-patent black-ball, he threw down his pipe, and ran all along Piccadilly, with his shirt out of his breeches, crying out like a madman, svezza! svenna! which in modern English is, the job is done! the job is done!

VETUS SCHOL. Another Duck,] Hillario having a mind to celebrate and recommend a genius to the world, compares him to Stephen Duck, and at the close of a late Inspector, cries out, "I bave found another Duck, but who shall find a Caroline?"

Print my soft essays, ]Our hero for once has spoke truth of himself, for which we could produce the testimonies of several persons of distinction. Bath and Tunbridge-wells have upon many occasions testified their gratitude to him on this head, as his works have been always found of singular use with the waters of those places. To this effect also speaketh that excellent comedian, Mr. Heory Woodward, in an ingenious parody on Busy, curious, thirsty fly, &c.

Busy, curions, hungry Hill,
Write of me and write your fill.

VOL. XVI.

And now, thou goddess, whose fire-darting

eyes

Defy all distance and transpierce the skies,
To men the councils of the gods relate,
And faithfully describe the grand debate.

The cloud-compelling thund'rer, at whose call
The gods assembled in th' etherial hall,
From his bright throne the deities addrest :
"What impious noise disturbs our awful rest,
With din prophane assaults immortal ears,
And jars harsh discord to the tuneful spheres ?
Nature, my hand-maid, yet without a stain,
Has never once productive prov'd in vain,
"Till now-luxuriant and regardless quite
Of her divine, eternal rule of right,
On mere privation she 'as bestow'd a frame,
And dignify'd a nothing with a name,
A wretch devoid of use, of sense and grace,
Th' insolvent tenant of encumber'd space.

NOTES VARIORUM.

Freely welcome to abuse,
Could'st thou tire thy railing Muse.
Make the most of this you can,
Strife is short and life's a span.
Both alike, your works and pay,
Hasten quick to their decay,
This a trifle, those no more,
Tho' repeated to threescore.
Threescore volumes when they're writ,
Will appear at last b-t.

And now thou goddess, &c.], This invocation is perfectly in the spirit of ancient poetry. If I may use Milton's words, our author here presumes into the Heavens, an earthly guest, and draws empyreal air. Hence he calls upon the goddess to assist his strain, while he relates the councils of the gods. Virgil, when the plot thickens upon his hands, as Mr. Bayes has it, has offered up his prayer a second time to the Muse, and he seems to labour under the weight of his subject, when he cries out,

Majus opus moveo, major rerum mihi nascitur ordo.

This is the case at present with the writer of the Hilliad, and this piece of machinery will evince the absurdity of that Lucretiau doctrine, which asserts that the gods are wrapped up in a lazy indolence, and do not trouble themselves about human affairs. The words of Lucretius are,

Omnis enim per se divûm natura necesse est Immortali ævo summa cum pace fruatur, Semota a rebus nostris, disjunctaque longè. It is now recommended to the editors of the Anti-Lucretius to make use of this instance to the contrary in the next publication of that work. M. MACULARIUS,

Encumber'd space.] Jupiter's speech is full of pomp and solemnity, and is finally closed by a description of our hero, who is here said to take up a place in the creation to no purpose. What a dfferent notion of the end of his existence has Hillario, from what we find delivered by the excellent Longinus in his treatise on the Sublime.

E

"Good is his cause, and just is his pretence," (Replies the god of theft and eloquence.) A hand mercurial, ready to convey, E'en in the presence of the garish day, The work an English classic late has writ, And by adoption be the sire of witSure to be this is to be something-snre, Next to perform, 'tis glorious to procure. Small was th' exertion of my god-like soul, When privately Apollo's herd I stole, Compar'd to him, who braves th' all-seeing Sun, And boldly bids th' astonish'd world look on."

NOTES VARIORUM.

The passage is admirable, translated by the author of the Pleasures of Imagination. "The godlike geniuses of Greece were well-assured that nature had 'not intended man for a low spirited or ignoble being; but bringing us into life and the midst of this wide universe, as before a multitude assembled at some heroic solemnity, that we might be spectators of all her magnificence, and candidates high in emulation for the prize of glory: she has therefore implanted in our souls an inextinguishable love of every thing great and exalted, of every thing which appears divine beyond our comprehension. Hence by the very propensity of nature we are led to admire, not little springs or shallow rivulets, however clear and delicious, but the Nile, the Rhine, the Danube, and much more than all the ocean."-Instead of acting upon this plan, Hillario is employed in pursuit of insects in Kensington-gardens, and as this is all the gratitude he pays for the being conferred upon him, he is finely termed an insolvent te

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Glorious to procure.] If our author could be thought capable of punning, I should imagine that the word procure, in this place, is made use of in preference to an appellation given to our hero in the commencement of this poem, viz. a pimp; but the reader will please to recollect that the term pimp is not in that passage used in its modern acceptation.

Small was th' exertion, &c.] Not so fast, good poet, cries out in this place, M. Macularius. We do not find that Hillario, upon any occasion whatever, has been charged with stealing ApolJo's quiver, and certain it is, that those arrows, which he has shot at all the world, never were taken from thence. But of Mercury it is recorded by Horace, that he really did receive the god of wit in this manner;

Te boves olim nisi reddidisses
Per dolum amotas, puerum minaci
Voce dum terret, viduus pharetra
Risit Apollo.

Her approbation Venus next exprest, And on Hillario's part the throne addrest, "If there be any praise the nails to pare, And in soft ringlets wreathe th' elastic hair, In talk and tea to trifle time away, The mien so easy and the dress so gay! Can my Hillario's worth remain unknown, With whom coy Sylvia trusts herself alone; With whom, so pure, so innocent his life, The jealous husband leaves his buxom wife? What tho' he ne'er assume the post of Mars; By me disbanded from all amorous wars ; (His fancy (if not person) he employs, And oft ideal countesses enjoys'Tho' hard his heart, yet beauty shall control, And sweeten all the rancour of his soul,

NOTES VARIORUM.

Venus next express'd,] Venus rises in this assembly quite in the manner attributed to her in the ancient poets; thus we see in Virgil that she is all mildness, and at every word breathes ambrosia ;

At non Venus aurea contra,
Pauca refert.-

She is to speak upon this occasion, as well as in the case produced from the Æneid, in favour of a much loved son, though indeed we cannot say that she has been quite so kind to Hillario, as formerly she was to Eneas, it being evident that she has not bestowed upon him that lustre of youthful bloom, and that liquid radiance of the eye, which she is said to have given the pious Trojan.

Lumenque juventæ

Purpureum, et lætos oculis afflavit honores. On the contrary Venus here talks of his black self, which makes it suspected that she reconciled herself to this hue, out of a compliment to Vulcan, of whom she has frequent favours to solicit: and perhaps it may appear hereafter, that she procured a sword for our hero from the celestial blacksmith's forge. One thing is not a little surprising, that while Venus speaks on the side of Hillario, she should omit the real utility he has been of to the cause of love by his experience as an apothecary, of which, he himself hath told us, several have profited; and it should be remembered at the same time, that be actually has employed his person in the service of Venus, and has now an offspring of the amorous congress. It is moreover notorious, that having, in his elegant language, tasted of the cool stream, he was ready to plunge in again, and therefore publicly set himself up for a wife, and thus, became a fortune-hunter with his pen; and if he has failed in his design, it is because the ladies do not approve the new scheme of propagation without the knowledge of a man, which Hillario pretended to explain so handsomely in the Lucina sine concubitu.-But the truth is, he never wrote a syllable of this book, though he transcribed part of it, and showed it to a bookseller, in order to procure a higher price for his productions. QUINBUS FLESTRIN.

while his black self, Florinda ever near, Shows like a diamond in an Ethiop's ear." When Pallas-thus-" Cease-ye immortals

-cease,

Nor rob serene stupidity of peace-
Should Jove himself in calculation mad
Still negatives to blank negations add,
How could the barren cyphers ever breed,
But nothing still from nothing would proceed?
Raise or depress-or magnify-or blame,
Inanity will ever be the same."

"Not so" (says Phoebus) "my celestial friend, E'en blank privation has its use and endHow sweetly shadows recommend the light, And darkness renders my own beams more bright!

NOTES VARIORUM.

Diamond in an Æthiop's ear,] There is neither morality, nor integrity, nor unity, nor universality in this poem.-The author of it is a Smart; I hope to see a Smartead published; I had my pocket picked the other day, as I was going through Paul's Church-yard, and I firmly believe it was this little author, as the man who can pun, will also pick a pocket.

JOHN DENNIS, Junior.

Inanity will ever be, &c.] Our author does not here mean to list himself among the disputants concerning pure space, but the doctrine he would advance, is, that nothing can come from nothing. In so unbelieving an age as this, it is possible this tenet may not be received, but if the reader has a mind to see it handled at large, he may find it in Rumgurtius, vol. 16, pagina 1001. De hac re multum et turpiter hallucinantur scriptores tam exteri quam domestici. Spatium enim absolutum et relativum debent distingui, priusquam distincta esse possunt; neque ulla alia regula ad normam rei metaphysicæ quadrabit,quam triplex consideratio de substantiâ inanitatis, sive entitate nihili, quæ quidem consideratio triplex ad unam reduci potest necessitatem; nempe idem spatium de quo jam satis dictum est. This opinion is further corroborated by the tracts of the society of Bourdeaux. Selon la distinction entre les choses, qui n'ont pas de difference, il nous faut absolument agréer, que les idées, qui ont frappé l'imagination, peuvent bien être effacées, pourvu qu'on ne s'avise pas d'oublier cet espace immense, qui environne toute la nature, et le systême des étoiles. Among our countrymen, I do not know any body that has handled this subject so well as the acurate Mr. Fielding, in his Essay upon Nothing, which the reader may find in the first volume of his Miscellanies; but with all due deference to his authority, we beg leave to dissent from one assertion in the said essay; the residence of nothing might in his time have been in a critic's head, and we are apt to believe that there is a something like nothing in most critic's heads to this day, and this false appearance misled the excellent metaphysician just quoted; for nothing, in its puris naturalibus, as Gravesend describes it in his experimental philosophy, does subsist no where so properly at present as in the pericranium of our hero.

MART. MACULARIUS.

How rise from filth the violet and rose!
From emptiness how softest music flows!
How absence to possession adds a grace,
And modest vacancy to all gives place?
Contrasted when fair Nature's works we spy,
More they allure the mind and more they charm
the eye.

So from Hillario some effect may spring,
E'en him that slight penumbra of a thing."
Morpheus at length in the debate awoke,
And drowsily a few dull words he spoke-
Declar'd Hillario was the friend of ease,
And had a soporific pow'r to please,
Once more Hillario he pronounc'd with pain,
But at the very sound was lull'd to sleep again.

NOTES VARIORUM.

Music flows,]"Persons of most genius," says the Inspector, Friday Jan. 26, Number 587, "have in general been the fondest of music; sir Isaac Newton was remarkable for his affection for harmony; he was scarce ever missed at the beginning of any performance, but was seldom seen at the end of it." And indeed of this opinion is M. Macularius; and he further adds, that if sir Isaac was still living, it is probable he would be at per's, but that he would not be at the end of it, the beginning of the Inspector's next song at Cumay be proved to a mathematical demonstration, though Hillario takes so much pleasure in beating time to them himself, and though he so frequently exclaims, very fine!-O fine!-vastly fine!-Since the lucubration of Friday Jan. 26th has been mentioned, we think proper to observe talent at a motto-Quinbus Flestrin saith, “he here that his Inspectorship has the most notable take a specimen along with you. How aptly upon is a tartar for that," and of this, learned reader, the subject of music does he bid his readers

OVID

pluck grapes from the loaded vine! Carpite de plenis pendentes vitibus uvas. The above-mentioned Quinbus Flestrin, peremptorily says, this line has been cavilled at by some minor critics, because, "the grapes are sour;" and indeed of that way of thinking is Macularius, who hath been greatly astonished at the taste of Hillario, in so frequently culling from Valerius Flaccus. But he is clearly of opinion, that the lines from Welstead and Dennis, are selected with great judgment, and are hung out as proper signs of what entertainment is to be furnished up to his

customers.

Penumbra of a thing,] Whatever mean opinion Dr. Phoebus may entertain of his terrestrial brother physician and poet, on Earth, Hillario is talked of in a different manner, as will appear from the following parody on the lines prefixed by Mr. Dryden, to Milton's Paradise Lost.

Three wise great men in the same era born,
Britannia's happy island did adorn,
Henley in care of souls display'd his skill,
Rock shone in physic, and in both John H-II,
The force of Nature could no farther go,
To make a third, she join'd the former two.
QUINBUS FLEstrin.
Lull'd to sleep again.] The hypnotic, or sopo-

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