WIG. MACOMBER'S HEARTSTRINGS. HOW THEY WERE REPEATEDLY ANON. TORN TO TATTERS BY FICKLE SAMANTHA MORRIS. From the New York Sun. There had been an elopement up the river, and some of the boys were sitting around the Crissman House stove talking about it. As the girl in the case was soon to have been married, the burden of the conversation was the disappointment and grief that must have overwhelmed the deceived bridegroom. "Yes," said the Sheriff, striking a match on his trousers leg and lighting the stub of his cigar for the fifth time— "Yes, the poor fellow must have felt bad; but what is his disappointment to that of Wig. Macomber? I don't know whether you ever knew Wig. He was a solemn cuss, and lived down in Ulster County. He was in love with a girl named Samantha Jane Morris. This was before the war. They were engaged to be married. A feller named Jim Archer came to the town where they lived. He was a tinker, and set up a tin shop. He fell in love with Samanth. I'll call her Samanth now, but if she was here I wouldn't. I'll tell you why. I was a young blood in those days, and a mackerel soaked for a month couldn't be any fresher than I was then. Not long after I went to the town I got acquainted with Wig. He took me over to see his girl one night, and introduced me. Before I went one of the boys said: "You'll like Samanth. If you want to make a good impression, don't be too formal. Act as if you'd known her for years, and she'll take to you.' "Wig. and I went to the house. I saw at once that Miss Morris was a girl whose appetite must be good, and that she hadn't been raised on ice cream and cake. She brought out some of her d man's cider. That cider wasn't intended for boys to tamper with. There was ten dollars or ten days in every two glasses of it. I didn't seem to get along with Miss Morris very well. I thought maybe I wasn't familiar enough. After I had drank two glasses of that cider I made up my mind that I'd show her I didn't come there to put on airs. She sat by a window. It was in July, and the window was up. There was to be a festival in the Methodist Church. I walks over to where Samanth sat, and stood in front of her. "Are you going to the festival, Samanth?' I said. Then I thought to myself, 'That's familiar enough to suit her, I guess,' and I smiled all over. แ Boys, Miss Morris got up like a jack-in-the-box. She swatted me on the side of the head with her flat hand. I dropped out of that window as if a coal train had struck me, and doubled up in a barrel of rain water that stood under the window. As I crawled out I saw Samantha leaning out of the window. "Samanth, is it?" she yelled. 'You ever come 'round these diggin's again, an' I'll git you up a festival, an' you'll think they're crammin' ice cream down you red-hot.' "I found afterward that Samantha was a little tender on being called Samanth, and the boys had played it on me. "Well, Jim Archer set up his tin shop, and fell in love with Samantha Jane Morris. She was a blame goodlooking girl, if she was a little particular, and her old man had the rocks. I felt sorry when Samantha shook Wig. Macomber and froze on to Jim, for Jim was a staving good fellow and one of the boys. He used to set up with us and take a hand in our little ten-cent ante, four shillings limit, and generally held his own. "I remember a funny,thing that came very near breaking up the match with Samantha. He sang in the choir of the Methodist church. One Saturday night we had been holding a session at poker a little later than usual, but Jim went to church all right Sunday morning. The preacher was a flowery young rooster, and when he began to preach Jim fell into a doze. The preacher preached along, and grew eloquent. He began to describe a scene at day-break. "See where it comes,' he said, 'the morning all aflush "Jim woke up just then. He'd been dreaming, I s'pose. "A flush?' he said, loud enough to be heard all over the church. 'A flush is good, old man; take the pot.' "Jim saw where he was, and walked out. Samantha was there. She got mad, and it took Jim a good while to fix things with her. Then they got married. Wig. Macomber was all broke up over it, and he grew more solemn than ever. He left his "Poor Jim died a few months afterward. widow $300, some second-hand stoves, and other store goods. Maybe you won't believe it, boys, but a year after that Wig. was engaged to Samantha again. Then Frank Lawson came to town, and went to tending bar at the tavern. He had a black moustache and the biggest watch chain I ever saw. Samantha met Frank at a picnic, and I hope to get shot if she didn't break off with Wig. again, and she and Frank were engaged. Wig. was all bound up in that girl, and you can imagine how he felt. "Well, sir, while Frank and Samantha were spooning, who should come to town but a young fellow named Will Wiggins. He was from Poughkeepsie, and went to clerking in a store in town. You may think I'm stretching it, but I'll treat if he didn't capture Samantha. After she had given Wig. the slip for Frank Lawson, Wig. wouldn't speak to Frank, he felt so cut up. When Frank got the grand bounce, I remember seeing Wig. meet him in the street. He went up to Frank in his solemn way, and without a word shook hands with him and passed on. That was a comical sight, and no mistake. "It wasn't long before it was noised about that Samantha and Wiggins were to be married. Frank Lawson went away, but Wig. stuck to it. Well, Samantha didn't marry Will Wiggins. He got full of beer one afternoon, and the boys put him to bed. He slept until nearly daylight next morning. He looked at his watch. It was half-past 5. He thought it was half-past 5 in the afternoon of the day he went to bed. He was to eat supper at Samantha's house at 6 o'clock the same afternoon. dressed himself and hurried down to the house. thought it was funny there weren't any lights in the house, but he knocked and banged at the door. Pretty soon a window was raised up stairs. He He "Who's that down there, and what are ye bangin' that door fur?' "It was Samantha's mother's voice. "Why, I've come to supper,' said Will. well, Mrs. Morris ?' 'Aint you "Mrs. Morris came down stairs. She opened the front door. Mr. Wiggins found that Mrs. Morris was quite well. The match was broken off, and if you ever wanted to see a man get up and hop, all you had to do was to ask Will Wiggins to take supper with you. 66 Now, see here, boys. I don't want you to be suspicious of what I'm going to tell you, for it's the ironclad truth, and if you ever go down in Ulster County they'll tell you the same. Wig. Macomber and Samantha Morris made up, and the old engagement was renewed. Wig. was as certain of her this time as he was of his dinner. I'm blamed if you couldn't get a smile out of him once in a while, and he went in the tavern one night and set 'em up for the boys Wig. had an uncle named Parker-Job Parker-one of the jolliest old bachelors that ever lived. He wasn't much older than Wig. Macomber. He lived up the Rondout Creek, and had about $25,000 stowed away. He had written Wig. a letter after each one of Wig.'s little set backs with Samantha, kind of making fun of him. That rather riled Wig., and he thought he would get even with his uncle by inviting him down to see him married. Uncle Job didn't have much to do just then, and he came down a couple of weeks before the wedding day 'to kind o' get acquainted with his new relations,' he said. Boys, it's a solemn fact, and a hard one to believe, but if Wig.'s Uncle Job didn't cut him out with Samantha I hope to holler. Cut him out dead, and, more than that, married her. "Disappointed? Wig. was all tore to strings. Talk about this young fellow up the river whose girl ran away with another man! Why, he'd think a soothing balm was running all over his heart if he should meet Wig. Macomber. "I was confidential with Wig. in those days, and one day I went to him and told him to cheer up. "Uncle Job'll peg out one o' those days,' I said, 'and then why can't you tackle Samantha again?' "Wig. sighed and shook his head. Then he said, as solemn as an owl: แNo. It can't be done. Under any other circumstances I might wait. But I never could bring myself to marry my aunt.' "I hadn't thought of that. His bride that was to be had become his aunt Samantha Jane !" THE MARRIAGE OF SANTA CLAUS. I need a companion, or, better, a wife; |