MRS. D. Don't get angry, Alexander, love, I think that a few more pins will fix it.

MR. D. Well! put them in then.

MRS. D. But where?

MR. D. How in the name of common sense do I know? While you are meditating I'll look over my paper. (Makes a movement to sit down.)

MR. D.

MRS. D. Why you can't sit down, you'll spoil everything. My dear, this thing weighs a ton; however, have (Reads paper while Mrs. D. adjusts more pins.)

your way.

MRS. D.

MR. D.

MRS. D.

Now take it off again. (He does so.)

This finishes it, eh?

For the moment (sewing)-try it on again, dear. MR. D. My love, allow me to suggest that this sort of thing is getting monotonous.

MRS. D.

MR. D.

MRS. D.

MR. D.

MRS. D.

Now I want to pull it so-another pin here-
Ouch!

Did I stick you, dear? now another pin there-
Ouch!!

I am so sorry, love! another here-
MR. D. Ouch! ! !

MRS. D. Ah! it's beginning to take shape; don't stir, Alexander; I've run out of pins.

MR. D. That's because you have run them all into me. MRS. D. (arising.) Do not move until I come back; I wont be a minute--you are holding yourself just right. [Exit.

MR. D. I am heartily sick of this bargain. I wish that Jack Pimpers and his wife were in Jericho. If Pimpers allows his wife to make a "dummy" of him, it's just like that fool. (Reads paper.)

Enter Mr. and Mrs. Plover, back of Mr. D.

MRS. PLOVER. Oh, there you are?

MR. D. (without looking up, supposing it is Mrs. D.) Of course fam; did you expect to find me in the cellar?

MR. PLOVER (aside to Mrs. P.). Why, that's Dabbleton himself; crazy as a loon, too.

MRS. P. (clinging to Mr. P.) Oh, Bird! Bird! dearest. Is it not sad? I pity Lila so.

M. D. (kicking up back of dress; eyes still on paper.) Well! am I af right, yet?

MR. P. (to Mrs. P.) Right! he's decidedly wrong in his ad, I'm thinking.

MRS. P. (to Mr. P.) Oh! Bird, darling; I pray that you may never, never be so afflicted.

MR. D. Haven't you got this thing worked out yet? (Discovers Mr. and Mrs. P.) Why-why-ah! ah!-whyBacks toward door, left; falls down, tries to walk, falls and finally crawls out of door, on hands and knees. Mr. and Mrs. P. look on in astonishment.

MR. P. (shaking head.) He's a hopeless case.

MRS. P. How can they let him run loose. I would fear that he would hurt some one. (Enter Mrs. D. Looks relieved on not finding Mr. D. present.) Oh, Lila!

MRS. D. Oh, Minnie! (They embrace.) And you, Mr. Plover-when did you come?

MRS. P. We have just arrived, and Maggie sent us right up. MRS. D. Quite right—be seated. (Offers chairs.) And how did you enjoy your trip?

MRS. P. Oh! splendidly-it was such a love of a trip; wasn't it, Bird?

MR. P. It certainly was, my dear.

MRS. P.

And-and how is Mr. Dabbleton?

MR. P. Is he better?

MRS. D.

Yes, he has only a slight cold.

MRS. P. (aside to Mr. P.) Bird, she calls it a slight cold. (Aloud.) Does he go out alone?

MRS. D. (laughing.) Oh, dear, yes; it is not so serious as that. MR. P. What does the doctor say?

MRS. D. It is not necessary for a doctor.

MRS. P. (aside to Mr. P.) Bird, darling; it isn't necessary for a doctor! (Aloud.) Do you feel perfectly secure with him? MRS. D. Why, what a question! I am the happiest woman imaginable. I have not a care. Mr. Dabbleton and I mar. ried purely for love.

MRS. P. (aside to Mr. P.) Not a care! for love! (Aloud.) How long did you notice the symptoms, Lila, dear?

MR. P. Yes, Mrs. Dabbleton, were they gradual?

MRS. D. Oh, yes! I discovered them long before we were married. (Mr. P. and Mrs. P. exchange glances.)

MRS. P. And are you reconciled ?

MRS. D. (aside.) I wonder what she means. (Aloud.) Why,

certainly, or I would not have married. Mr. Dabbleton la kindness personified.

MR. P. Rather eccentric, though?

MRS. D. N-no-of course he has his peculiarities,

MRS. P. (aside to Mr. P.) Bird! she calls it peculiarities (Aloud) Do you have an attendant, Lila?

MRS. D. Oh! yes,-Maggie.

MR. P.

MRS. P.} Maggie !

MRS. D. Yes, didn't she let you in?

MR. P. But is she able to cope with Mr. Dabbleton? MRS. D. (in astonishment.) It is not necessary. He rarely nterferes with my servants.

MR. P. But we mean had you ever an attendant especially for your husband?

MRS. D. We had one but he left.

MRS. P. I presume that the strain was too much for him! MRS. D. Strain? He had nothing to do but to wait upon table, blacken Mr. Dabbleton's boots and brush his clothing. MRS. P. Those menial acts were beneath him, I suppose? MRS. D. Beneath him? He did not suit so we discharged him, and Maggie fits in very well.

MRS. P.

MRS. D.

Why not send him to an asylum?

Send whom?

MR. P. Why your husband.

MRS. P. And have him cured.

MRS. D. (arising.) My husband-an asylum-have him cured! Why, Minnie, what do you mean? Mr. Plover, wil you explain?

MR. P. (arising.) Ah! Mrs. Dabbleton-we respect your endeavors to keep this terrible secret. Believe me, Minnie and myself will never breathe it. We sincerely pity him.

MRS. P. No! Lila, rest assured that my lips will be sealed. good-bye, dear, keep up a brave heart-poor-poor man. (Aside to Mr. P.) I am just dying to get home and tell mama! MR. P. Good-night, Mrs. Dabbleton; if you should ever wish my services, command me at any time. [Exit both. MRS. D. (aghast.) What does it all mean? Have they both gone crazy? (Calls.) Alexander! Alexander! where are you? Enter Maggie, in much trepidation.

MAGGIE. Oh, Mrs. Dabbleton! Mrs. Dabbleton! sure I

have that to inforum you, that the pa-ches what you are pre-sar-ving doon stairs air all biling oover and it's makin such a schmell in the kitching that I can't be afther sthand ing it at all, at all!

MRS. D. Why in the world didn't you move them, Maggie? MAGGIE. Sure! an' didn't I be afther thrying to do that mim, whin, bad cess to it, the more I moved thim the more they schlopped oover and made the schmell worse than iver MRS. D. Oh, dear! oh, dear! I will attend to them my self (starting).

MAGGIE. An' sure, Mrs. Dabbleton, I have also to inforum you, the cat got into the con-sar-va-tor-e and knocked down sax flower-pots and shpilled the contints all oover the flure. MRS. D (agitated.) Oh, Maggie, didn't you drive her out? MAGGIE. I did that, mum! But I have furder to inforun, you, mum, that before I got the cat out, she knocked down that flower what you call the "Night-Bloomin' see-e-air-e-us" an' broked off wan av the stims.

MRS. D. What! My Night-Blooming Cereus?

MAGGIE. Yis, mim!-the "Night-Bloomin' see-e-air-e-us” is all broked, mim! (Door bell rings violently.)

MRS. D. There, Maggie, quickly attend to the bell! I wil go immediately to the kitchen and then to the conservatory. Do not let any one disturb me for a few minutes.

MAGGIE. Yis, mim! I will that, mim!

[Exit in hasti

MRS. D. (walking up and down in an agitated manner.) I won der where poor Alexander is? What with amateur dressmaking, and foolish questioning by idiotic married people, my choice flower broken, and the peaches-oh, dear! I forgot those peaches again--I suppose that they are all ruined by this time. [Exit hastily. "Very well, very well, my good girl! Let Enter Doctor, followed by Maggie.

Doctor heard without: me see him at once." tor advances to front.

MAGGIE. Sure Docther, the missus is afther being in the kitching and wants to be excused for siverial minutes; an-I don't think Misther Dabbleton is at home, at all, at all! DOCTOR (Soliloquizing). This is very strange! very strange indeed. What! Mr. Dabbleton seized with a sudden attack of insanity? why! why! I wouldn't have believed it. (Use handkerchief violently.)

MAGGIE (in open-eyed astonishment). Sure is that mon goin' to have a fit? If he does he'll be afther shpilin' the furniture. DOCTOR (still soliloquizing). Now, it's lucky that I happened to meet Bird Plover and his wife, just at this moment. Bird says that they had just been here visiting and that Mr. Dabbleton was as crazy as a loon; dresses in his wife's clothing; crawls along the floor on all fours like a dog and gives utterance to strange cries. (Again uses handkerchief.)

MAGGIE (eyeing doctor closely). I wish that the masther and missus was here, for shure that mon is taken mighty bad! DOCTOR. I wonder why Mrs. Dabbleton wishes to conceal her husband's malady and especially from me, her family physician? Now, let me see, let me see--we'll have him aken to a private asylum and I wonder if he is violent! Suddenly to Maggie.) I say, young woman, is he violent? loes he rave? are you safe? when did it happen? what are ae peculiarities?

MAGGIE. The saints pre-sarve us! Be ye crazy, sur?

DOCTOR (walking up and down). Do not endeavor to withhold anything from me, young woman; I know all about it! MAGGIE. Faith, thin, if ye know all about it, what are you afther asking me questions for, sur?

DOCTOR. Come, come, come, come!

MAGGIE (startled). Where will I be afther comin' to?
DOCTOR. Come to the point, of course.

MAGGIE. The p'int is it? Sure what p'int shall I come to? DOCTOR. Why, in regard to the affliction that has visited is house. Did-did he ever strike you?

MAGGIE. In sure, who wud sthrike me?

MAGGIE. Mr. Dabbleton, is it? Indade and what would he be afther sthriking me for?

DOCTOR. Why, during one of his paroxysms.

MAGGIE. Paroxysms; eh! we don't use paroxysms here

We use paregoric if you mean that?

DOCTOR. NO! no! no! you fail to comprehend me still. Don't you know that your master is non compos mentis! MAGGIE. Non compos mentis. Faith, is that Chinese? DOCTOR. Oh, no! er-er-He's suffering from an attack of dementia.

MAGGIE. Dementia, is it? Sure is it catchin', Docther