A loud, rasping and impatient voice rang out from the kitchen. It was the voice of the new cook.

"You told me to bile the water, mem, and I've been bilin' it an hour and a half. I want to know if you think it's done yet!"

A happy young couple were talking low,

And nobody heard what they said;
And the lady's sister, with stately step,
Was walking along ahead.

And I watched as the little procession moved by,
And she walked with a lofty grace,

And anon she drew a pensive sigh,

With a martyr's look on her face.

I afterward asked her what made her walk

So solemnly on ahead;

Why didn't she join the other two,

And hear what the fellow said?

The girl looked up with a queerish glance,
All self-possessed and cool,

And faintly smiled as she merely said,

"I go by the Golden Rule."

Smiley.

A mamma who was about to send her youthful hopeful to Sunday School for the first time, decided first to test the gen. eral knowledge of the youth.

"Who made you, Freddie?" she asked.

"God," was the ready response.

"That is right, my dear, now tell mamma who was th first man."

“Columbus,” triumphantly shouted the child.

So Brown's up for office,-'tis clear as a bell
That a man such as he could never run well.
The reason? That's easy,-because, don't you see,
A messenger boy this Brown used to be.

"So poor Smith committed suicide?"

"Yes."

"What was the matter?"

"His brain was on fire and he blew it out."

The popular bait for trout fishing is concentrated lie.

A little girl wrote the following composition: "Boys are men that have not got as big as their papas, and girls are young, women that will be young ladies by-and-by. Man was made before woman. When God looked at Adam He said to Himself, “Well, I guess I can do better if I try again," and then he made Eve. God liked Eve so much better than Adam that there have been more women than men ever since. Boys are a trouble. They are wearing on everything but soap. If I had my way half the boys in the world would be little girls, and the rest would be dolls. My papa is so nice that I guess he must have been a little girl when he was a little boy.

She thanked them all for everything,

From Christmas card to diamond ring;
And as her gifts she gayly flaunted
She told her friends, "Just what I wanted."

But I, who had no cash to blow,
Just kissed her, 'neath the mistletoe.
She blushed a bit, but nothing daunted,
Repeated low, "Just what I wanted!"

Aunty. What became of the kitten you had when I was here before?

Little Niece (in surprise). Why, don't you know?
"I haven't heard a word. Was she poisoned?"
"No'm."

"Well, I can't guess. What became of her?" "She growed into a cat."