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Fal. Began to give me ground; but I follow'd me close, came in foot and hand; and, with a thought, feven of the eleven I pay'd.
P. Henry. O monstrous ! eleven buckram men grown out of two!
Fal. But as the devil would have it, three mis-begotten knaves in Kendal green came at my back, and let drive at me; (for it was so dark, Hal, that thou could'st not see thy hand)
P. Henry. These lies are like the father that begets them, gross as a mountain, open, palpable. Why, thou clay-brain'd guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch
Fal. What, art thou mad? art thou mad ? is not the truth, the truth?: i
P. Henry. Why, how could'st thou know these men in Kendal green, when it was so dark, thou could'ft not see thy hand ? come, tell us your reason: what say'st thou to this? Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason.
Fal. What, upon compulsion ? no; were I at the strappado, or all the racks in the world, I would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a reason on compulsion! if reasons were as plenty, as black-berries, I would give no man a reason upon compulsion, I. · P. Henry. I'll be no longer guilty of this fin. This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horse-backbreaker, this huge hill of flesh,
Fal. Away, you starveling, you eel-fkin, you dry'd neats-tongue, bull's pizzel, you ftock-fish: O for breath to utter! What is like thee? You taylor's yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing
P. Henry. Well, breathe a while, and then to‘t again; and when thou hast tir'd thyself in base comparisons, hear me fpeak but this.
Poins. Mark, Jack.
bound them, and were masters of their wealth: mark now, how a plain tale shall put you down. Then did we two set on you four, and with a word, outfac'd you from your prize, and have it; yea, and can Thew it
here in the house. And, Falstaf, you carry'd your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dexterity, and roar'd for mercy, and still ran and roar'd, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a slave art thou, to hack thy sword as thou haft done, and then say it was in fight-What trick ? what device? what starting hole, canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this
open and apparent shame? Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack : what trick haft thou now?
Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye, as well as he that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters ; : was it for me to kill the heir apparent? Should I turn upon the true Prince? Why, thou knowest, I am as valiant as Hercules; but beware instinct, the Lion will not touch the true Prince: inflinct is a great matter.
I was a coward on instinct; I shall think the better of myfelf, and thee, during my life; I, for a valiant Lion, and thou for a true Prince. But, by the lord, lads, I am glad you have the money. Hostess, clap to the doors; watch to night, pray to-morrow.
Gallants, Jads, boys, hearts of gold, all the titles of good fellowship come to you! What, shall we be merry ? fball we have a play extempore?
P. Henry. Content: and the argument shall be thy running away.
Fal. Ah!--no more of that, Hal, if thou lovest me.
S CE N E
Enter Hoftefs. my
lord the Prince !
P. Henry. How now, my lady the hostess, what say'st thou to me?
Hot. Marry, my lord, there is a Nobleman of the Court at door would speak with you;, he says, he comes from
father. P. Henry. Give him as much as will make him a royal man, and send him back again to my mother.
Fal. What manner of man is he? Hoft. An old man.
Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight?.
P. Henry. Pr'ythee, do, Jack.
P. Henry. Now, Sirs, by'r lady, you fought fair; so. did you, Peto'; fo did you, Bardolph: you are Lions too, you ran away upon instinct; you will not touch the true Prince; no, fie!
Bard. Faith, I ran when I saw others run.
P. Henry. Tell me now in earnest, how came Falstaff's sword so hackt?
Peto. Why, he hackt it with his dagger, and said he would swear truth out of England, but he would make you believe it was done in fight, and persuaded us to do the like.
Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear-grass, to make them bleed; and then beslubber our garments with it, and swear it was the blood of true men. I did That I did not these feven years before, I blush'd to hear his monstrous devices.
P. Henry. O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the manner, and ever since thou haft blush'd extempore; ihou hadft fire and sword on thy side, and yet thou ranneft away; what instinct hadst thou for it?
Bard. My lord, do you fee these meteors? do you behold these exhalations?
P. Henry. I do.
Bard. Choler, niy lord, if rightly taken.
S CEN E XI.
Re-enter Falstaff. Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. How now, my sweet creature of bombaft, how long is't ago, Jack, fince thou saw'st thy own knee?
Fal. My own knee? When I was about thy years, Hal, I was not an Eagle's talon in the waste ; 'I could
into any alderman's thumb-ring: a plague of sighing and grief, it blows a man up like a bladder There's villainous news abroad : here was Sir John Braby from your father; you must go to the Court in the morning. That same mad fellow of the north, Percy;--and he of Wales, that give Amamon the bastinado, and made Lucifer cuckold, and swore the devil his true Liegeman upon the cross of a Welshhook: what a plague call you
him to Poins.' 0, Glendower.
Fal. Owen, Owen; the same ; and his son-in-law Mortimer, and old Northumberland, and that fprightly Scot of Scots, Dowglas, that runs a horseback up a hill perpendicular
P. Henry. He that rides at high speed, and with a pistol kills a Sparrow flying.
Fal. You have hit it.
Fal. Well; that rascal had good mettle in him, he will not run.
P. Henry. Why, what a rascal art thou then, to, praise him so for running?
Fal. A horseback, ye cuckow, but afoot, he will not budge a foot.
P. Henry. Yes, Jack, upon instinct,
Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct : well, he is there too, and one Mordake, and a thousand blue-caps more.
Worcester is stol'n away by night: thy father's beard is turn'd white with the news: you may buy land now as cheap as stinking mackerel.
P. Henry. Then 'tis like, if there come a hot June, and this civil buffetting hold, we shall buy maidenheads as they buy hob-nails, by the hundred.
Fal. By the mass, lad, thou fay'st true; it is like, we shall have good trading that way. But tell me, Hal, art not thou horribly afeard. ? ihou being heir apparent, could the world pick thee out three such enemies again as that fiend Dowglas, that spirit Percy, and that devil Glendower? art thou not horribly afraid? doth not thy blood thrill at it?
P. Henry. Not a whit, i'faith; I lack some of thy instinct.
Fal. Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to-morrow, when thou com'lt to thy father: if thou do love me, practise an answer.
P. Henry. Do thou stand for my father, and examint inc upon the particulars of my life. Fal. Shall I? content: this Chair shall be
my State, this Dagger my Scepter, and this Cushion my Crown.
P. Henry. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, thy golden scepter for a leaden dagger, and thy precious rich Crown for a pitiful bald crown.
Fal. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite out of thee, now shalt thou be moved-Give me a cup of Sack to make mine eyes look red, that it may be thought I have wept; for I must speak in passion, and I will do it in King Cambyses' vein.
P. Henry. Well, here is my leg.
Fal. And here is my speech-Stand aside, Nobi. lity
Hoft. This is excellent sport, i'faith.
vain. Hoft, Q the father! how he holds his countenance?