content.

neceflity of fubjection to each other; because there can be no unity, where two parties contend for fuperiority, or fuch an equality as will not yield in particular and indifferent cafes. What avails all the pomp and parade of life, which appears It produceth abroad; if, when we fhift the gaudy flattering scene, the man is unhappy, where happiness must begin, at home? Whatever ingredients of blifs providence may have poured into his cup, domestick misfortunes will render the whole compofition distasteful. Fortune and happiness are two very diftinct ideas; however fome, who have a falfe idea of life, and a wrongness of thinking, may confound them. For better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a ftalled ox, and hatred therewith. That is, it is better to have peace without plenty, than plenty without peace. Quietness under one's own roof, and quietnefs in our own confcience, are two substantial bleffings, which whoever barters for fhew and pomp will find himself a lofer by the exchange. Abroad, we must more or less find tribulation; yet, as long as our home is a fecure and peaceful retreat from all the dif appointments and cares which we meet with in that great scene of vexation, the world, we may still be tolerably happy: but if that, which should be our main fanctuary from uncafinefs, becomes our principal difquietude, How great must our uneafiness be! There cannot be a greater curse, than to have thofe of one's own bofom one's greatest foes; when we neither can live happily with them, nor must think of living apart from them. Love is a tender plant: it must be kept alive by great delicacy, it must be fenced from all inclement blasts; or it will foon droop its head and die. Indeed in general we ought to be very tender (we can scarce be too much fo) as to what may affect another: otherwise we do we know not what. For no man can tell, unless he could feel for him, how much another may fuffer by any unkind thing we fay or do. An angry word will give a deeper wound to fome minds, than an injurious action fhall to others, who are of matter too hard to make any impreffion at all upon them.

This should convince wives, who are going to make up a family, that there is a neceffity of government, which fup

pofes

The wife

owes to the

obedience.

poses subjection in themselves, and fuperiority in their hufbands; which is neceffary to the fupport of rule and order, and is rightly placed in husbands rather than in wives: First, because the apoftle exprefsly bufand commands the wife to fhew obedience: Wives, fays he, fubmit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord: and again, because the God of nature seems to have declared their fovereignty, by bleffing them with the greatest strength and abilities. Where God has made the body and the mind fittest to undergo toils and labours, neceffary to the well-being of the world; the carrying on bufinefs at home, and trade abroad; the defending one's country from foreign foes, and the adminiftering of juftice; where we perceive God has qualified his creatures for thefe offices, which are so neceffary, that the world cannot fubfift in peace and order without them, we may fafely conclude that therein he defigned to place the fuperior power of government. Therefore, as God hath made men neceffary for these works, he hath made them fuperior to fuch as are not able to do them; and confequently fuperior to the woman; but not with a tyrannical authority, not to use them like flaves and menial fervants; but as friends and companions in all the state of wedlock. Tho' it is granted that there are some instances of women excelling in thefe particulars; yet they will not overthrow the vifible defign of God: tho' there be women fuperior to many men in ftrength of body and abilities of mind, in fineness of parts, greatnefs of capacity, foundness of judgment, and ftrength of memory; yet the number of fuch neither is, was, or will be, great enough to fhew that God intended to give that fex the fuperiority. But the apoftle limits the authority of man over the woman, and defcribes the manner of her fubjection, and fhews the caufe thereof. Men, fays he, love your wives, and be In what not bitter against them. And to the women he pre- manner. fcribes these rules, Let the women learn in filence, with all fubjection; but I fuffer not a woman to teach, (i. e. in publick) nor to ufurpauthority over the man, but to be in filence. Because Adam was first formed, then Eve. Again, the woman's subjection is fetched from Eve's being first in the trans

P 4

greffion:

greflion: she was deceived first, and then deceived her hufband; fhe was undone by difobeying God, and he was undone by following her: the muft rule no more: it was part of her curse, that her defire should be to her husband, and he fhould rule over her.

If his com

mands are

Yet this power and obedience of husbands and wives muft have their proper bounds; the one may exercise a power that belongs not to them, and the other lawful. refufe fubmiffion where it is due. Thus it is certain that a wife owes no fubjection to her husband, against the laws of either God or man: and no command or example of a husband will excufe a wife offending against a known law of God, or doing any thing immoral: fhe owes him no fubjection in fuch matters; he is himself a rebel to their common Lord and Mafter, while commanding any unlawful action, and she is with him in the tranfgreffion. And in Other matters their difobedience will be faulty, where they cannot make their excufe by reafon and difcretion, allowed custom, decency, and good fame: Some may afk, Who shall be judges in such a cafe? I anfwer, Wives must not oppose their will to their husbands, or reafons to reafons, unless they are plainly oppreffed, left they be found to contend for maftery; and if the will and reafon of one be equal to the other's, it is fomething besides that must determine who shall yield, and then we must recur to know who must obey.

Therefore the apostle exhorts the women to adorn themMust be felves with a meek and quiet fpirit; that is, not meek. to put off their natural temper, and be immediately changed, but fo to govern themselves as to be meek and quiet upon all occafions; that by reafon and confideration they restrain themselves from falling into bitterness, impatience and clamour: many cross accidents will happen, and they must meet with many provocations and severe trials; and if they do not arm against them with a patient, prudent fpirit, their fufferings will be doubled: they are not to be infenfible or ftupid under what befalls them, but to prepare The danger that they may do nothing that mifbecomes them; of conten- herein they are to exercise their reafon and best tion. abilities matters are feldom mended by the noise

and

and contention that is raised; they are oftentimes made worse, but feldom better; the folly or perverfeness of men is not cured, nor any unlucky accidents remedied, by fury and impatience; and those things, by indifcreet management, become too often the occafion of great mifchiefs, which would otherwise have done little hurt. Who can compare the provocations of their anger with the events and confequences, with any tolerable fatisfaction? Mischief and sorrow are in the midst thereof; therefore they can find no comfort therein the learning people get by contention is commonly too dearly paid for; they only find, that they have weakly lost what they perchance may never recover again. Yet people, who ought to confider these things beft, are fo far from inquiring, where and when they must obey, and in what cases they are at liberty, that they are evermore at liberty, and never in subjection at all, tho' in the most reasonable cafes ; but forget their duty and their fex together.

It cannot be but that wives muft know that without a chafte converfation they are wives no longer: the Fidelity. band of wedlock is diffolved before God, and, if the husband ask the affiftance of the law, it may be diffolved before man alfo: because this is not without the breach of the most folemn vow that can be thought on: wherefore, our Saviour faith, that, though it be not lawful to put away a wife for every caufe, yet in the cafe of fornication it may be done. This is the first mark of her fidelity, which must be always attended with a frugal management of the worldly affairs committed to her charge, fo as never to apply her hufband's goods and money to any other purposes than he shall approve of, and to the real benefit of his family. Which confiderations should deter from fuch drefs as ferves She must be to looseness and immodefty; because the defign it- modeft in self is so abominable, by heating of the fancies, and drejs. inflaming the hearts of impetuous youth, and kindling those impure defires, that will confume both body and foul. A drefs put on with this defign is not only blameable, but damnable without repentance. Wherefore whoever dreffes to make herself amiable or comely, must ask herself what she defires that grace and comeliness for, and what use she de

figns to make of people's admiration; and according as that is better or worse, fo will her adorning herself be more or less innocent in the fight of God. Again, fuch a drefs as takes up too much time may reasonably be prefumed to be criminal, ' because our time is given forbetterpurposes. Likewifeitshould never be forgot, that fuch coftlinefs of apparel, as exceeds the quality and ability of the wearer, is an offence against decency; that becoming order, which the wifdom and cuftom of all times and places have agreed upon, as moft convenient to difference people from one another, and, in the matter of quality, to prevent all diforders, confufion, and difrefpect: it unreasonably exhausts the gain and labour of the calling, when that, which fhould maintain the house and children, and fupport the trade and credit of men, is trified off in fhew and gay appearance, not only to the thame, but too often to the ruin of the hufband and his dependents. The very heart of industry is broken, when it fees its fruits fquandered fo lavishly away. It is a certain token of a bad wife, where a woman goes beyond her husband's abilities. Women call their marriage changing their condition: they fhould then remember, among other fenfes of these words, that they change their former condition for that of their husband, be it what it will better or worse; and that they must fuit their minds to that which is the only way to thrive in that state. * They must also remember that their obedience is founded upon love. This was the end for which woman was crea

Love.

ted, to be a help to her husband: fo that neither health, ficknefs, wealth or poverty, or any state of life in which the providence of God shall place him, can in any wife discharge a wife from this duty. For perfect love not only cafteth out fear, but forbids all kind of fullennefs, harthness, noise, fcoldings, or unquietnefs; and leads to and cultivates a chafte converfation: which if it prevails, they have gained their point; and if not, they have the fatisfaction of doing their duty, and taking the courses that were likelieft to effect what they defired; they are excufable both to God and man, and shall not fail of their reward at the last day.

So

* See Temperance in Apparel, Sunday, 16, Sect. iv.