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THUS variable and unfettled, I liv'd for several Years together; fometimes under great Conviction; and at other times without any at all: At one time I would break loofe from all my Companions, and fet my felf to Prayer; importunately defiring that God would teach me my Duty, and what I must do to become a Child of his. At another time I would think I had done enough; that I might reft satisfied all was well with me, and that I was Converted already: Upon which I have been tempted to throw off my Concern about the work of my Salvation, and to conclude that I was safe, and really in a state of Reconciliation withGod.

BUT I was foon fenfible, that this was owing to the Devil's Suggestions; and all I had yet gone through was only the Beginnings of what was necessary to true Converfion; and but a drawing on of the Pangs of the new Birth.

FOR after all this (as it pleafed God to order it in Mercy to my Soul) one Day when all our Family was gone out, and I left in the House by my felf; I fat

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down to the Reading of fome good Book (the Title of which has now flipt mv Memory) when all on a fudden, as if I had heard the voice of God fpeaking to me, I had a most awful and dreadful Reprefentation of my unregenerate State: of my Vileness and Sinfulness and of the Judgments I ftood expofed to: apprehending, that the Juftice of an offended God was ready to feize me. I durft not look upwards, for there I thought I faw an impartial Judge, and an incenfed Majesty : whofe Purity and Holiness; whofe Greatnefs and Terrors almoft funk me into Defpair. If I looked downwards I faw the Gates of Hell open to receive me; and I thought my felf juft ready to fall into it every moment I faw my felf upon the Brink of Eternity; and that an Eternity of Wo and Mifery.

THEN I could not forbear admiring the Patience and Long-fuffering of God, which had fpared me fo long, who had deferved Death a thousand times over. How did I prefently loath and abhor my felf for all my paft Sins and Follies? Deeply fenfible of my Original Pollution and Defilement; and that Evil I was born

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born into the World with. I was almoft Heart-broke with the Thoughts of my Rebellion against God, and of my offending the best of Beings. How did it pierce my Heart to think of my abufing his Kindnets, and defpifing his Love; in not hearkning to his repeated Invitations and Calls of Mercy, I then thought myself. one of the vileft Creatures on Earth, and could compare my felf to nothing more fitly than the Devils, and Damn'd Spirits in Hell. And now in the midst of fuch difmal Apprehenfions as thefe, I faw nothing in the whole World that could help, or comfort me.

O HOW I catch'd at the name of Jefus; in whom I faw an All fufficient fulnefs to fupply my wants: an Ability to anfwer all my Defires; and a Power to wafh, and take away all my Sins! In his Blood; and his Righteousness I believed, and hoped there was room for Acceptance with that God, who hates all the Workers of Iniquity: Therefore Heartily and Sincerely I apply'd my felf to the Throne of Grace, without delay, in fuch earnest Breathings as thefe,

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"O LORD! I am a very vile, mi"ferable Wretch; a poor undone, de"filed, poiluted Sinful Creature. I am "but Duft and Afhes; who derived my "Existence from Thee at firft: Thou

gaveft me that Life and Being I enjoy ; "and from thee I drew my first Breath. "By thy great Power and Goodness I "have been preserved, and continued in

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Being ever fince I was formed, and fent "into the World. Lord! how ill have "Ianfwer'd, or rather how have I acted

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contrary to, the great End and Defign "of my Creation? Inftead of Honouring "thee, I have been doing all I could to "Injure, and Dishonour thy Sacred Ma"jefty; to excite thy Wrath, and incur "thy fevere Difpleafure. I have drunk "in Iniquity like Water; and with fuch "Eagerness and Infatiableness, have been

Indulging to my vain corrupt Inclina❝tions; That, I confefs, I am not worthy, nor fit to live in thy Sight.

"THOU mighteft justly have funk "me long ago into that Lake of Fire and "Brimftone which never can be quench'd.

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"It is of thy Wonderful Mercy, that I am not confumed, and caft into Hell ; "there to spend an Eternity in Endless " and Unfufferable Tortures; fuch as the "the Devils, and Damned Spirits are "continually roaring under. O Lord, I

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acknowledge I have Sinned against "Heaven, and in thy fight, and am not "worthy to be called thy Son; no nor

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to take upon me the Name of a Servant : "Against thee, thee only have I Sinned, "and committed fuch abominable "Wickedness. But Lord! What fhall "I do, whither fhall I go, if not to "the Throne of thy Grace? None elfe 46 can help, or relieve me but thy felf; "thou only haft the Words of Eternal "Life. I therefore humbly proftrate

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my self before thee, refolved, if I do "perifh, to perifh in this Pofture; and "if I Die, it fhall be at thy Feet. I am, 6c O God, I again confefs, a polluted, "loathfome Creature: Odious and de"teftable in thy fight, moft hateful and "abominable in the Eyes of thy Purity "and Holiness: but is there not a Foun"tain of Mercy opened in Jefus Chrift 6c to cleanse, and purify fuch Sinners, as I am, from all Filth and Uncleannefs?

"Wash

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