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O HOW did my Heart diffolve, and melt at the Reading of these Words! I read 'em over, and over again; Meditating on them, and wondring; till not being able to contain my Thoughts any longer, I broke out into fuch Expreffions as these. Lord! What manner of Love is this that thou fhould'st so regard poor Sinners, as to be wounded for their Tranfgreffions, and Die for their Sins. O deareft Saviour! Didft thou lay down thy Life for me? One that could profit thee nothing at all Yea, one that has despised thy Grace and Love,

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WHEN I come to make the Appli cation of thy Death and Sufferings to my own particular Cafe; I am filled with aftonishment at thy Goodness, and my own Vileness. I could wish that my Head was Water; and my Eyes as Fountains of Tears, that I might weep day and night for my ungrateful, difingenuous Carriage towards thee. Was thy Side and Heart pierced for my fake? Thy Bleffed Hands nailed to a Curfed Tree? Thy Sacred Temples encircled with a Crown of Thorns; that such a Wretch as I am may

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be Crown'd with Everlasting Glory? O
adorable Love! and for Ever to be adored;
that has thus been manifefted to a Sinful
World. Lord! I can never enough la-
ment my Sinfulness, or fufficiently exprefs
my hatred of those Iniquities which
were the cause of these thy Sufferings:
Never, never, will I again look with a
liking upon that which has shed thy moft
precious Blood.

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THUS was I overcome with the Senfe of my Saviour'sKindness and Love ; his Death and Sufferings; and lay weeping bitterly at the foot of his Crofs; ftill continuing to read in the place above quoted. When I came to the LIV. Chapter of that Prophecy; I laid hold on all the Bleffed Promises there recorded, as made to me and as speaking directly to my Condition and Circumftances. Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into Singing, &c. Fear not thou, for thou fbalt not be afbamed; neither be thou Confounded, for thou shalt not be put to Shame : Thou shalt forget the Shame of thy Youth, &c. Here beyond Expreffion a Senfe of the Love of God reviv'd, and comforted my Soul in the Reading of thofe Words, For F 3

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thy Maker is thine Husband, the Lord of Hofts is his Name : and thy Redeemer the Holy one of Ifrael, the God of the whole Earth fball he be called. For a small moment have I forfaken thee, but with great Mercies will I gather thee. In a little Wrath I hid my Face from thee for a moment, but with Everlafting Kindness will I have Mercy on thee, faith the Lord thy Redeemer. The Mountains Shall depart, and the Hills be removed; but my Kindness fill not depart from thee, saith the Lord that hath Mercy on thee. Oh thou afflicted, toffed with Tempeft, and not Com forted, behold I will lay thy Stones with fair Colours, and lay thy Foundations with Sapphires, &c.

WHAT a powerful Joy fpread over my Mind, upon the fuiting these Promifes to my own Condition, and applying them to the Cafe of my Soul? I thought myself one of thofe, to whom in a Spiritual Senfe they belong'd; and while I could look upon my felf as fuch a one I was greatly elevated and pleafed ; but fo fhort and broken were my times of Confolation, that on a fudden all my Joys and Hopes would be turn'd into Diftruft and Fears and under the most Melan

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choly Apprehenfions I was ready to conclude that I was yet in the Gall of Bitterness, and Bond of Iniquity. Thus I continued feveral days; fometimes full of Hope, at others ready to fink with Fear. One time when I was extremely dejected, I went into my Father's Study, to look into fome of his Books; and happily met with Baxter's Call to the Unconverted: In which, Reading the Text infifted on, I went away with a great deal of Encouragement, Say unto them, as I live faith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the Death of the Wicked, but that the Wicked turn from his way, and live: Turn ye, turn ye from your Evil ways; for why will ye die, O House of Ifrael? Ezek. XXXIII. 13.

AT another time when I was got into a Room by myself, earnestly begging of God to teach me my Duty,and to fhew me my State; I heard my Father underneath me; and refolved with my felf to go to him, and ask him what I fhould do to be faved; defigning to give him an account of all that had pafs'd.Iwent down foftly to his very Door; but had not boldness enough to venture in (for I was always afraid of discovering things of this Nature) I stood

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at the Door for fome time, but, at length, returned up again, without letting him know any thing of the matter (fo the Devil often makes us conceal our Cafe, when the Difcovery of it would be for our greatest Advantage). I promised, and refolved, that if God would but give me fome Token of his Acceptance of what I had already been doing, I would for the future give up my felf intirely to him. Till I had obtain'd fome fatisfaction in this Cafe, I purposed to continue earneft and importunate in Prayer, and never to omit it when I had opportunity. This made me when I could not get time for fet Prayers, to abound in Pious Ejaculations; and with the Pfalmift often cry, Whom have I in Heaven, O Lord! but thee? And there is none upon Earth, that I defire befides thee. Oh come Lord Jefus; come Bleffed Spirit, take up thine abode in my Soul; and the like.

ALL the while I was very defirous to know how I might be fure of my Salvation, and that my Peace was made with God. But as I begg'd for the Comfort of knowing I was in a fafe State, my own Thoughts presently reply'd; that I minded

my

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