Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

my Diverfions more than my Duty to God; that I had too great a Love for the Vanities of this World; too much hearken'd to the Enticements, and Temptations of the Devil: that I hurry'd over my Devotion for the fake of Trifles: I therefore immediately refolv'd to amend in all this; and this Resolution I determin'd to proceed upon, That whatever binder'd my ferving of God, I would for fake it, and have no more to do with it.

IN a very unfettled,doubting Condition I remain❜d for feveral Weeks, not knowing what to think of my felf; till at length my Father going to Preach at Chipping.norton, and taking me along with him, to my Uncle Difton's; when publick Worship was concluded, in the Evening a Sermon was read in my Uncle's Family, upon this Text; He is able to fave to the uttermost all thofe that come unto God by him; feeing he ever liveth to make Interceffion for us, Heb. vii. 25. This fill'd me with a fudden, and furprizing Joy; and fuch as had like to have forc'd me to break out aloud; What fball 1 render to the Lord for all his Benefits? Bleffed be that God, who in great Mercy has heard my Prayer, and my Supplicati

ons

[ocr errors]

ons. I will now love thee, and ferve thee all the Days of my Life, O God! the God of Salvation. Then I found the my Spirit of iod witnessing with my Spirit, that I was a Child of God, enabling me to live, and act in another manner than before I had done.

IT'S impoffible for me to express, or again to conceive of the Transports of my Soul: when I did not only believe, but was fo affur'd, as that the whole World could not perfuade me to the contrary, That I was now united to Chrift; and become an Heir of Glory. I no longer doubted of his Favour, or his becoming my Saviour, and Lord.

THUS I that was a Captive of the Devil, and a Child of Wrath, was brought into the Glorious Liberty of the Sons of God. I that before was Loathfome and Abominable in the fight of him, who is of purer Eyes than to behold Iniquity; now could look upon my felf as the Object of his Complacency, and Delight. I that before durft not look up to God, but with Horror; thought of him as an Impartial Judge taking Vengeance on the Ungodly;

now

now could behold him as a Tender, Reconcil'd Father.

O HOW did my Heart burn with Love to this God that had fo loved me; and wrought fo blessed a Change in my Mind, my Inclinations, my Purposes, and Defigns? I was no longer terrify'd at the Threatnings denounc'd against the Wicked, and Impenitent: I could read my Title to the Kingdom of Heaven in the Promifes of the Gofpel; and did not any more doubt of my Intereft in all that belong'd to the Regenerate, and Righteous, thro' the Merits of my Dear Redeemer.

HERE I begun my Songs of Praises; afcribing all Glory to the Spirit of God, who by fuch means, and in fuch a man ner, had brought about my Conversion; and had refcu'd me from the flavery of Sin and Satan. Bleffed, yea Blessed, and for ever Ador'd be thy Name, moft Gracious God! who hadft pity on fuch a poor Worm as I am. I would attempt to praise thee now as well as I can; but Eternity itself will be little enough to spend in the rapturous Contemplations of thy condefcending Grace, and Goodness; and in

finging

finging Hallelujah's for this diftinguishing Love in making me a Monument of thy pardoning Mercy. Thus far I went, as near as I can remember, when I was about Twelve Tears Old.

Now

OW to proceed to my After-behavi our,and the Obfervations made fince that Season. I remain'd ferene, and quiet in my Mind for fome time, but O the Cunning, and Subtilty of our grand Adverfary! who goes about continually feeking whom he may difturb, as well as whom he may devour. I had not long enjoy'd the Comfort of my State, before the Devil found an Opportunity to offer fuch Thoughts as thefe; which I foolishly, and to my great Difadvantage hearken'd to. Thou art now Converted, and lodg'd under the Protection of an Almighty Saviour: He will now watch over thee, live as thou wilt; and will preferve thee from all the Powers of Hell, fo as that thou shalt never be fnatch'd out of his Hand. Thou needeft not fear falling away; Chrift will take care that none of his Elect mifcarry: Thou art one of them, and therefore needeft not be any further concern'd about thy Salvation; this is what shall undoubtedly be fecur'd. WITH

[ocr errors]

WITH fuch and the like Perfuafions, fo skilfully fuited to my Temper, and Incli nations at that Juncture; I was fo poffefs'd, and over-rul'd as (to my great Sorrow) to grow negligent in Duty; and very careless in the Service of God: Nay, as if I had now done with Religion, I thought there was not fo much occafion or need for any of those Prayers, and Tears; of that Watchfulness, and Carefulness in my ways as there was before. And while I liv'd under the Influence of fuch Temptations as these, I wonder'd to hear Chriftians complaining of the Difficulty of a Religious Life: In which I faw nothing but what was smooth and easy.

BUT afterwards I was convinc'd of my Sin in hearkning to these DevilishSuggeftions: when I found upon my neglect of serious fervent Prayer, and an unguarded Behaviour, that a fenfe of Divine Favour was withdrawn; and very much of the Happiness, and Pleasure of my Condition abated and loft. I therefore applied my felf in a moft humble manner to the Throne of Grace, begging of God, that he would make known to me my Errors;

and

« AnteriorContinuar »