me and mine. Thou hast said, again and again, "Trust not in man;" yet, my idolatrous heart will cleave inordinately to my friends. Thou hast seen it necessary to let me see, how easy it is with thee to blast the brightest hopes and fairest prospects: thou hast shewed me that father and mother may forsake; and even friends in Christ stand aloof. Glory to thy name, thou hast also confirmed a consequent hope; the Lord has taken me up. Thou knowest my castings down, and liftings up. The world would not believe me, were I to tell them “ the stately steps" thou hast taken for my relief.

New York, May 20, 1791.

THIS day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart he is again launched on the ocean;-God's ocean. The Lord saved him from shipwreck; brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge my affections over him. He has been with me but a short time, and ill have I improved it; he is gone from my sight, and my heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the widow's son-" the only son of his mother."

I ask nothing in all this world for him; I repeat my petition, save his soul alive, give him salvation from sin. It is not the danger of the seas that distresses me: it is not the hardships he must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this world; it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in him. I cannot discern the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, this is what distresses me; and, in connexion with this, his being shut out from ordinances, at a distance from Christians; shut up with those who forget God, profane

his name, and break his Sabbaths, men who often live and die like beasts; yet are accountable creatures, who must answer for every moment of time, and every word, thought, and action. O Lord, many wonders hast thou shewn me: thy ways of dealing with me and mine have not been common ones-add this wonder to the rest. Call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord, all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope, in the day when thou saidst to me, "Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive." Only let this life. be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in thy hand as to all temporal things.

"I wait for thy salvation." Amen.

New York, August 18, 1791.

THUS far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice. This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. M., that my son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help, he escaped; but all his assortment of necessaries, that his sisters and I made up with so much care, labour, and expense, they have carried off, and he is once more left naked. heart, unite in tempting me to fret. or harbour a murmuring thought? the blank I have put into the Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? afflictions been my greatest blessings?

Satan, and a corrupt

Dare I utter a word,
Would I withdraw

Have not my own

Have not I asked

for my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my choice of this portion, as well as shewing me that He is a sufficient portion, without any other? When things have been at the worst with me, as to this world, my triumphs in my God have been highest, and prospects for eternity brightest.

Has the Lord given me, in some measure, victory over the world? Do its honours, riches, show, and gaudy splendours, appear to me empty, and vain, and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment, by the way, through this wilderness, seem all that is necessary? And is it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in kind and degree, which he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that for my child which I despise for myself? Alas! Lord, he feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better portion. Still, still, foolish. Was it when I was full or in want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked, and persisted in asking, for my children, salvation from sin and self? Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of submission and resignation to thy will-to enjoy God in all things and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I, fret, when I see the Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself, and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first tasted the blessedness of his chosen?

Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll all my cares over upon thee. I will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together for good to their souls; and that I shall yet see the day, or, if I see it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footsool; sink into the open

arms of thy mercy in Christ; melted down in holy, humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall sing as I do now, "It hath been very good for me that I have been afflicted. I wait for thy salvation. Amen."

New York, September, 1791.

MANY have been my burdens of late: strangers laid upon me to provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all their due, and provide for my own family. But what is that to me? The Lord increases business, bears me and my burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well: give when thou wilt, and call for it again, when and for what purpose thou wilt; it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is thine: the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a way which I know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety still. Amen.

New York, October 10, 1791.

THIS day did the Lord's servant, in a solemn manner, take us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's; and that once more Christ and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the Redeemer's table, among his professing people; and, I

have reason to think, given their hearty assent to his

covenant.

Glory! Glory! Glory! to the Hearer of prayer. I have cast my fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my confidence. "One thing," one only thing, have I asked for them, leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld, as consisting with that: I seek for my four children and myself, first of all," the kingdom of God."

My God, from day to day, adds many other comforts, and strengthens my hopes by promising appearances, that "the grain of mustard-seed" is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they have made.

Saturday, September, 1791. The Lord made me a grandmother, assisted my poor weakly girl in child-bearing, and gave a son to her and my arms. "There was joy, that a man child was born into the world ;" and according to thy word," she remembered no more her pain."

Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a small thing with thee. Look, O look on this twig from a guilty stock; poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and still less for its soul. O God of "the spirits of all flesh," give it a plunge in " the blood of Jesus"-cleanse, O cleanse him " from original sin;" and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and mysterious way, sow "the grain of mustard-seed" in his soul.