XVI.

MR. SHERIDAN'S READY WIT.

MR. Moore is mistaken, in stating that Sheridan was in the habit of manufacturing puns and other witty sayings, before he went into company; and that he generally remained silent until a proper opportunity offered for letting off a good thing. That he and other celebrated wits may have occasionally done so, is not at all improbable; but that such was Sheridan's practice, no one who knew him intimately can for a moment allow. Had the learned biographer in question, given the least consideration to his practical jokes upon those tradesmen and others, who were in the habit of dunning him, he would perceive that Mr. Sheri

dan's invention was never at a stand; for, on such occasions, instead of paying, he generally contrived to obtain longer time, and to run more deeply into their debt:-those who came to shear, went home shorn. But there are a thousand proofs on record, that, like the light produced by the fire-boxes now in vogue, Sheridan's wit was instantaneous and vivid. A few of these brilliant flashes, as they occur to the writer's mind, shall here be displayed; the reader bearing in mind that such only shall be set down as are not mentioned by other authors-or which, having appeared, have not been attributed to him by them.

Mr. Whitbread, one evening at Brookes's, talked loudly and largely against the ministers, for laying what was called the war-tax upon malt: every one present, of course, concurred with him in opinion; but Sheridan could not resist the gratification of a hit against the brewer himself. He took out his pencil and wrote upon the back of a letter the following lines, which he handed to Mr. Whitbread across the table:

"They've raised the price of table drink ;
What is the reason, do you think?

The tax on malt's the cause, I hear—
But what has malt to do with beer ?”

One day, meeting two Royal Dukes walking up St. James's-street, the youngest thus flippantly addressed him :-"I say, Sherry, we have just been discussing whether you are a greater fool or rogue; what is your own opinion, my boy?" Mr. Sheridan having bowed, and smiling at the compliment, took each of them by the arm, and instantly replied, "Why, 'faith, I believe I am between both.”

Being on a parliamentary committee, he one day entered the room as all the members were seated, and ready to commence business. Perceiving no empty seat, he bowed; and looking round the table, with a droll expression of countenance, said, "Will any gentleman move, that I may take the chair?"

Looking over a number of the Quarterly Review, one day at Brookes's, soon after its first

appearance, he said, in reply to a gentleman who observed that the editor, Mr. Gifford, had boasted of the power of conferring and distributing literary reputation; " Very likely; and in the present instance I think he has done it so profusely as to have left none for himself."

:

Soon after the Irish members were admitted into the British House of Commons, at the Union, in 1801, one of them, in the midst of his maiden harangue, and in the national warmth of his heart, thus addressed the chair :"And now, my dear Mr. Speaker," &c., which created a loud laugh from all parts of the house. As soon as their mirth had subsided, Mr. Sheridan gave it another fillip, by observing, "That the honourable member was perfectly in order; for, thanks to the ministers, now-a-days, every thing is dear."

The Hon. Mr. S― having finished a tragedy, sent it to Sheridan with a note, requesting an early opinion, and offering it for performance at Drury-lane. The manager looked

over the manuscript, but seeing nothing fit for representation, laid it on the table before the noble author, who called two days after, without saying a word. "Well, now, my dear Sheridan," said the dramatist, "what do you think of it? my friend Cumberland has promised me a prologue, and I dare say, for the interest of the theatre, you will have no objection to supply me with the epilogue ?”—“ Trust me, my dear Sir," replied Sheridan, drily, and shaking his head, "it will never come to that, depend on 't."

A friend having pointed out to Mr. Sheridan that Lord Kenyon had fallen asleep at the first representation of Pizarro, and that, too, in the midst of Rolla's fine speech to the Peruvian soldiers, the dramatist felt rather mortified ; but instantly recovering his usual good-humour, he said, “ Ah, poor man! let him sleep, he thinks he is on the bench.”

66

A rich, but exceedingly penurious, Member of the Lower House, having one day descanted