And with rings so very trim,
Lately taken out of lim-*
And with very little pence,
And as very little sense;

With some law, but little justice,
Having stolen from my hostess,
From the barber and the cutler,
Like the soldier from the sutler;
From the vintner and the tailor,
Like the felon from the jailor;
Into this and t' other county,
Living on the public bounty;
Thorough town and thorough village,
All to plunder all to pillage:

Thorough mountains, thorough vallies,
Thorough stinking lanes and alleys,
Some to kiss with farmers spouses,
And make merry in their houses;
Some to tumble country wenches
On their rushy beds and benches;
And if they begin a fray,

Draw their swords, and run away;
All to murder equity,

And to take a double fee;

Till the people all are quiet,

And forget to broil and riot,
Low in pocket, cow'd in courage,
Safely glad to sup their porridge,
And vacation's over-then,
Hey, for London town again.

* A cant word for pawning. H.

VOL. XVII.

THE

THE PUPPETSHOW.

THE life of man to represent,
And turn it all to ridicule,
Wit did a puppetshow invent,
Where the chief actor is a fool.

The gods of old were logs of wood,
And worship was to puppets paid;
In antic dress the idol stood,

And priest and people bow'd the head.

No wonder then, if art began

The simple votaries to frame, To shape in timber foolish man,

And consecrate the block to fame.

From hence poetic fancy learn'd

That trees might rise from human forms;

The body to a trunk be turn'd,

And branches issue from the arms.

Thus Dædalus and Ovid too,

That man's a blockhead, have confest : Powel and Stretch * the hint pursue; Life is a farce, the world a jest.

*Two famous puppetshow-men.-In the year 1715 was published, "A second Tale of a Tub; or, the History of Robert Powel, the Puppetshow-man," written by Thomas Burnet, esq. youngest son to bishop Burnet: who was bred to the law, and, beside the piece here mentioned, was the author of many other political pamphlets against the ministry of the four last years of queen Anne, for some of which he was taken into custody by the messengers; and was suspected of being one of the Mohocks that attacked young Davenant. See Journal to Stella, March 8, 1711-12. N.

The

The same great truth South Sea has prov'd
On that fam'd theatre, the alley;
Where thousands, by directors mov'd,
Are now sad monuments of folly.

What Momus was of old to Jove,
The same a Harlequin is now;
The former was buffoon above,
The latter as a Punch below.

This fleeting scene is but a stage,
Where various images appear;
In different parts of youth and age,
Alike the prince and peasant share.

Some draw our eyes by being great,
False pomp conceals mere wood within;
And legislators rang'd in state,

Are oft but wisdom in machine.

A stock may chance to wear a crown,
And timber as a lord take place;

A statue may put on a frown,

And cheat us with a thinking face.

Others are blindly led away,

And made to act for ends unknown; By the mere spring of wires they play, And speak in language not their own.

Too oft, alas! a scolding wife

Usurps a jolly fellow's throne; of life,

And many drink the cup

Mix'd and embitter'd by a Joan.

In short, whatever men pursue,
Of pleasure, folly, war, or love;
This mimic race brings all to view:
Alike they dress, they talk, they move.

Go on, great Stretch, with artful hand,.
Mortals to please and to deride;
And, when death breaks thy vital band,
Thou shalt put on a puppet's pride.

Thou shalt in puny wood be shown,
Thy image shalt preserve thy fame;
Ages to come thy worth shall own,

Point at thy limbs, and tell thy name.

Tell Tom, he draws a farce in vain,
Before he looks in nature's glass ;
Puns cannot form a witty scene,

Nor pedantry for humour pass.

To make men act as senseless wood,
And chatter in a mystic strain,
Is a mere force on flesh and blood,
And shows some error in the brain.

He that would thus refine on thee,
And turn thy stage into a school,
The jest of Punch will ever be,
And stand confest the

greater fool.

THE

THE GRAND QUESTION DEBATED:

WHETHER HAMILTON'S BAWN SHOULd be turneD

INTO A BARRACK OR MALT-HOUSE.

1729.

THUS spoke to my lady the knight* full of care, "Let me have your advice in a weighty affair. This Hamilton's bawn,† while it sticks in my hand,

I lose by the house what I get by the land;
But how to dispose of it to the best bidder,
For a barrack or malthouse, we now must con-
sider.

First, let me suppose I make it a malthouse, Here I have computed the profit will fall t' us: There's nine hundred pounds for labour and grain, I increase it to twelve, so three hundred remain ; A handsome addition for wine and good cheer, Three dishes a day, and three hogsheads a year; With a dozen large vessels my vault shall be stor❜d;

No little scrub joint shall come on my board;
And you and the Dean no more shall combine
To stint me at night to one bottle of wine;
Nor shall I, for his humour, permit you to purloin
A stone and a quarter of beef from my sir-loin.

* Sir Arthur Acheson, at whose seat this was written. F. † A large old house, two miles from sir Arthur's seat. F.

The army in Ireland was lodged in strong buildings, called barracks, which have lately been introduced into this country likewise. H.