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Admire the Dancer who her liking gains,
And pity in the Play the Lover's Pains ;
For her sweet fake the loss of time despise ;
Sit while the fits, and when she riscs rise.
But dress not like a Fop, nor curl your Hair,
Nor with a Pumice make your Body bare.
Leave those effeminate and useless Toys
To Eunuchs, who can give no folid Joys.
Neglect becomes a Man: This Theseus found :
Uncurld, uncomb'd, the Nymph his Wishes crown'd.
The rough Hippolytus was Phadra's Care ;
And Venus thought the rude Adonis fair,
Be not too finical ; but yet be clean :
And wear well-fashion's Clothes, like other Men.
Let not your Teeth be yellow, or be foul ;
Nor in wide Shoes your Feet too loosly roll.
Of a black Muzzle, and long Beard, beware ;
And let a skilful Barber cut your Hair.
Your Nails be pick'd from Filch, and even par'd ;
Nor let your nafty Nostrils bud with Beard.
Cure your unfav'ry Breath, gargle your Throat ;
And free your Armpits from the Ram and Goat.
Dress not, in short, too little or too much ;
And be not wholly French, nor wholly Dutch.
Now Bacchus calls me to his jolly Rites :
Who wou'd not follow, when a God invites ?
He helps the Poet, and his Pen inspires,
Kind and indulgent to his former Fires.
Fair Ariadne wander'd on the Shore,
Forsaken now; and Thefens loved no more :
Loose was her Gown, dimeveld was her Hair ;
Her Bosom naked, and her Feet were bare:
Exclaiming, on the Water's brink she stood ;
Her briny Tears augment the briny Flood.
She shriek'd, and wept, and both became her Face :
No Posture cou'd that Heav'nly Form disgrace.
She beat her Breast : The Traitor's gone, said she ;
What shall become of poor forfaken me?
What shall become - he had not time for more,
The founding Cymbals rattled on the Shore.
She swoons for fear, she falls upon the Ground;
No vital Heat was in her Body found.
The Mimallonian Dames about her ftood;
And fcudding Satyrs ran before their God.
Silenus on his Afs did next appear,
And held upon the Mane; (the God was clear)
The drunken Sire pursues, the Dames retire ;
Sometimes the drunken Dames pursue the drunken Sire.
At last he topples over on the Plain ;
The Satyrs laugh, and bid him rife again.
And now the God of Wine came driving on,
High on his Chariot by swift Tigers drawn.
Her Colour, Voice, and Senfe forsook the Fair;
Thrice did her trembling Feet for flight prepare,
And thrice affrighted did her flight forbear,
She shook, like Leaves of Corn when Tempefts blow,
Or slender Reeds that in the Marshes grow.
To whom the God: Compose thy fearful Mind ;
In me a truer Husband thou shalt find.
With Heav'n I will endow thee, and thy Star
Shall with propitious Light be seen afar,
And guide on Seas the doubtful Mariner.
He faid, and from his Chariot leaping light,
Left the grim Tigers shou'd the Nymph affright,
His brawny Arms around her Wafte he threw;
(For Gods, whate'er they will, with ease can do:)
And swiftly bore her thence : th' attending throng
Shout at the Sight, and fing the Nuptial Song.
Now in full Bowls her Sorrow she may steep :
The Bridegroom's Liquor lays the Bride asleep.
But thou, when flowing Cups in Triumph ride,
And the lov'd Nymph is seated by thy side ;
Invoke the God, and all the mighty Pow'rs,
That Wine may not defraud thy Genial Hours.
Then in ambiguous Words thy Suit prefer,
Which she may know were all addrelt to er.
In liquid purple Letters write her Name,
Which she may read, and reading find the Flame.
Then may your Eyes confess your mutual Fires ;
(For Eyes have Tongues, and Glances tell Desires).
Whene'er the drinks, be first to take the Cup ;
And, where she laid her Lips, the Blessing sup.
When she to Carving does her Hand advance,
Put out thy own, and touch it as by chance.
Thy Service e'en her Husband must attend :
(A Husband is a most convenient Friend.)
Seat the Fool Cuckold in the highest Place :
And with thy Garland his dull Temples grace.
Whether below or equal in degree,
Let him be Lord of all the Company,
And what he says, be seconded by Thee.
'Tis common to deceive through Friendship’s Name :
Bet, common though it be, 'tis fill to blame :
Thus Factors frequently their Truft betray,
And to themselves their Masters Gains convey.
Drink to a certain pitch, and then give o'er ;
Thy Tongue and Feet may stumble, drinking more.
Of drunken Quarrels in her fight beware ;
Pot-Valour only serves to fright the Fair.
Eurytion juftly fell, by Wine oppreft,
For his rude Riot at a Wedding-Feaft.
Sing, if you have a Voice ; and thew
In Dancing, if endu'd with Dancing Arts.
Do any thing within your power to please ;
Nay, e'en affect a seeming Drunkenness;
Clip ev'ry Word ; and if by Chance you speak
Too home, or if too broad a Jest you break,
In your excuse the Company will join,
And lay the Fault upon the Force of Wine.
True Drunkenness is subject to offend ;
But when 'tis feign'd 'cis oft a Lover's Friend.
Then safely you may praise her beauteous Face,
And call him Happy, who is in her grace.
Her Husband thinks himself the Man design'd;
But curse the Cuckold in your secret Mind.
When all are risen, and prepare to go,
Mix with the Croud, and tread upon her Toe.
This is the proper time to make thy Court ;
For now she's in the Vein, and fit for sport.
Lay Balhfulness, that ruftick Virtue, by ;
To manly Confidence thy Thoughts apply.
On Fortune's Foretop timely fix thy hold;
Now speak and speed, for Venus loves the Bold.
No Rules of Rhetorick here I need afford :
Only begin, and trust the following word;
It will be witty of its own accord.
Act well the Lover ; let thy Speech abound
In dying Words, that repefent thy Wound :
Distrust not her Belief; she will be mov'd :
All Women think they merit to be lov'd.
Sometimes a Man begins to love in jest, And, after, feels the Torment he profeft. For your own fakes be pitiful, ye Fair ; For a feign’d Paffion may a true prepare.
By Flatteries we prevail on Womankind;
As hollow Banks by Streams are undermin'd.
Tell her, her face is fair, her Eyes are sweet ;
Her taper Fingers praise, and little Feet.
Such Praises e’en the Chaste are pleas'd to hear ;
Both Maids and Matrons hold their Beauty dear.
Once naked Pallas with Jove's Queen appear'd;
And still they grieve that Venus was preferr’d.
Praise the proud Peacock, and he spreads his Train:
Be filent, and he pulls it in again.
Pleas’d is the Courser in his rapid Race ;
Applaud his Running, and he mends his Pace.
But largely promise, and devoutly swear ;
And, if need be, call ev'ry God to hear.
Jove fits above, forgiving with a Smile
The Perjuries that easy Maids beguile.
He swore to Juno by the Stygian Lake :
Forsworn, he dares not an Example make,
Or punish Falshood, for his own dear sake,
'Tis for our Intrest that the Gods shou'd be;
Let us believe 'em : I believe, they see,
And both reward, and punish equally.
Not that they live above like lazy Drones,
Or Kings below, supine upon their Thrones.
Lead then your Lives as present in their Sight ;
Be just in Dealings, and defend the Right ;
By Fraud betray not, nor oppress by Might.
But 'tis a Venial Sin to cheat the Fair ;
All Men have Liberty of Conscience there.
On cheating Nymphs a Cheat is well design'd;
'Tis a profane and a deceitful Kind.
'Tis said, that Ægypt for nine Years was dry, Nor Nile did Floods, nor Heav'n did Rain supply.