though I still think that in some degree it was just, which might have raised a wrangling debate his about character, perhaps at the expense of my own; or however occasioned much animosity and contention. But I have since examined the secret spring of that impulse, and find it to be envy; which I was not then sensible of; but my antagonist had certainly imputed it to this and had he taken the liberty to have told me so, I much question whether I should have had the temper of the philosopher; who, when he was really injured, being asked whether he was angry or not, replied, No; but I am considering with myself whether I ought not to be so. I doubt I should not have so much composure, but should have immediately resented it as a false and malicious aspersion; but it was certainly envy, and nothing else; for the person who was the object of the encomium was much my superior in many respects. And the exception that arose to my mind was the only flaw in his character; which nothing but a quick sighted envy could descry. Take heed

then of that vice for the future.

Again; this day I was much surprised to observe in myself the symptoms of a vice, which, of all others, I ever thought myself most clear of; and have always expressed the greatest detes.. tation of in others, and that is covetousness. For what else could it be that prompted me to withhold my charity from my fellow creature in distress, on pretence that he was not in every respect a proper object; or to dispense it so.

sparingly to another; who I knew was so, on pretence of having lately been at a considerable expense upon another occasion? This could proceed from nothing else but a latent principle of covetousness; which, though I never before observed in myself, yet it is likely others have. O how inscrutable are the depths and deceits of the human heart! Had my enemy brought against me a charge of indolence, self indul. gence, or pride and impatience, or a too quick resentment of affronts and injuries, my own heart must have confirmed the accusation, and forced me to plead guilty. Had he charged me with bigotry, self opinion, and censoriousness I should have thought it proceeded from the same temper in himself, having rarely observed any thing like it in my own. But had he charged me with covetousness, I should have taken it for downright calumny, and despised the cen sure with indignation and triumph, and yet af. ter all, I find it had been but too true a charge. Oh! how hard a thing it is to know myself! This, like all other knowledge, the more 1 have of it, the more sensible I am of my want of it.*

*Cicero was without doubt the vainest man in life; or he never could have the face to beseech Lucceius, in writing the Roman history, to set the administrations of his consulship in the most distinguished point of glory, even at the expense of historical truth; and yet when he is begging a favour of the like kind even of Cato himself, he has these astonishing words: If ever any man was a STRANGER TO VAIN GLORY, and the desire of popular applause, it is myself; and this disposition which I have by nature, is,

The difficulty of self government and self possession arises from the difficulty of a thorough self acquaintance, which is necessary to

it.

I say a thorough self acquaintance, such as has been already set forth in its several branches, Part I. For as self government is simply impossible, I mean considered as a virtue, where self ignorance prevails, so the difficulty of it will decrease in proportion to the degree in which self acquaintance improves.

Many, perhaps, may be ready to think this at paradox; and imagine that they know their predominant passions and foibles very well, but still find it extremely difficult to correct them. But let them examine this point again, and perhaps they may find, that that difficulty ariseseither from their defect of self knowledge, for it is in this as in other kinds of knowledge, wherein some are very ready to think themselves much greater proficients than they are, or else from their neglect to put in practice that degree of self knowledge they have. They know their particular failings, yet will not guard against the immediate temptations to them. And they are often betrayed into the immediate temptations which overcome them, because they are ignorant of, or do not guard against, the more remote temptations, which lead them into those which

methinks, grown yet stronger by reason and philosophy. Ah! how secretly doth self ignorance, not only insinuate into, but, conceal itself within the most improved and best cultivated minds. Reader, beware.

are more immediate and dangerous, which may not improperly be called the temptation to temptations; in observing and guarding against which, consists a very necessary part of self knowledge, and the great art of keeping clear of danger, which, in our present state of frailty, is the best means of keeping clear of sin.

To correct what is amiss, and to improve what is good in us, is supposed to be our hearty desire, and the great end of all our self research. But if we do not endeavour after this, all our labour after self knowledge will be in vain. Nay, if we do not endeavour it, we cannot be said heartily to desire it. "For there is most of the heart, where there is most of the will; and there is most of the will, where there is most endeavour; and where there is most endeavour, there is generally most success: so that endeavour must prove the truth of our desire, and success will generally prove the sincerity of our endeavour." This, I think, we may safely say, without attributing too much to the power of the human will, considering that we are rational and free agents, and considering what effectual assistance is offered to them, who seeek it, to render their endeavours successful, if they are sincere: which introduces the subject of the following chapter.

* Baxter.

2

CHAPTER X.

Fervent and frequent prayer, the most effectual means for attaining true self knowledge.

LASTLY, the last means to self knowledge which I shall mention is, frequent and devout applications to the Fountain of Light, and the Father of our spirits, to assist us in this important study, and give us the true knowledge of ourselves.

This I mention last, not as the least, but, on the contrary, as the greatest and best means of all, to attain a right and thorough knowledge of ourselves, and the way to render all the rest effectual; and therefore, though it be the last means mentioned, it is the first that should be used.

Would we know ourselves, we must often converse not only with ourselves in meditation, but with God in prayer; in the lowest prostration of soul, beseeching the Father of our spirits to discover them to us; in whose light we may see light, where before there was nothing but dark. ness; to make known to us the depth and devices of our heart. For without the grace and influence of his divine illuminations and instructions, our hearts will, after all our care and pains to know them, most certainly deceive us. And self love will so prejudice the understanding, as to keep us still in self ignorance.