then frugal of my mirth. Heaven forgive me!-Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the Parliament for the putting down of fat men. How shall I be reveng'd on him? for reveng'd I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter MISTRESS FORD. MRS. FORD. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. MRS. PAGE. And, trust me, I was coming to you. look very ill. You 31 MRS. FORD. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that: I have to shew to the contrary. MRS. PAGE. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. MRS. FORD. Well, I do then; yet, I say, I could shew you to the contrary. O, Mistress Page, give me some counsel ! MRS. PAGE. What's the matter, woman? MRS. FORD. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! 40 MRS. PAGE. Hang the trifle, woman: take the honour. MRS. PAGE. What? Thou liest! Sir Alice Ford?- 47 MRS. FORD. We burn day-light.1 Here, read, read: 1 we waste time. ACT II F ACT II 62 with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? MRS. PAGE. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs!-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter. But let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names (sure more), and these are of the second edition. He will print them out of doubt: for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. 74 MRS. FORD. Why, this is the very same: the very hand, 82 MRS. FORD. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep MRS. PAGE. So will I. If he come under my hatches, MRS. FORD. You are the happier woman. 98 MRS. PAGE. Let's consult together against this greasy 1 niceness. Enter FORD, PISTOL, PAGE, and NYM. FORD. Well, I hope it be not so. PIST. Hope is a curtall1 dog in some affairs: Sir John affects thy wife. FORD. Why, Sir, my wife is not young. PIST. He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor, PIST. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go thou, FORD. What name, Sir? PIST. The horn, I say. Farewell. sense. Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night : Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo-birds do sing.— Away, Sir Corporal Nym! Believe it, Page; he speaks [Exit PISTOL. FORD. [aside.] I will be patient; I will find out this. 117 NYм. And this is true. [to PAGE.] I like not the humour of lying. He hath wrong'd me in some humours; I should have borne the humour'd letter to her: but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife: there's the short and the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch; 'tis true: my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife. Adieu! I love not the humour of bread and cheese; and there's the humour of it. Adieu. [Exit NYM. PAGE. The humour of it quoth 'a! here's a fellow frights English out of his wits. FORD. [aside.] I will seek out Falstaff. PAGE. I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue. FORD. [aside.] If I do find it, well. 130 PAGE. I will not believe such a Cataian3 though the priest o' th' town commended him for a true man. FORD. [aside.] 'Twas a good sensible fellow. Well [MRS. FORD and MRS. PAGE come forward. PAGE. How now, Meg? 1 scentless and paceless. 2 the sex at large. 3 (slang) Heathen Chinee.' ACT II Sc. I MRS. FORD. 'Faith thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, Mistress Page? MRS. PAGE. Have with you. You'll come to dinner, George?-Look, who comes yonder: she shall be our messenger to this paltry Knight. [aside to MRS. FORD. Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY. MRS. FORD. Trust me, I thought on her: she 'll fit it. 150 MRS. PAGE. Go in with us, and see: we have an hour's talk with you. [Exeunt MRS. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and MRS. QUICKLY. PAGE. How now, Master Ford? FORD. You heard what this knave told me, did you not? FORD. Were they his men? PAGE. Marry, were they. 160 FORD. I like it never the better for that.-Does he lie at the Garter? PAGE. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head. FORD. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together. A man may be too confident. I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot be thus satisfied. 172 PAGE. Look, where my ranting Host of the Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily. How now, mine Host? ACT II Sc. I Enter Host and SHALLOW. HOST. How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: 178 SHAL. I follow, mine Host, I follow. Good even, and HOST. Tell him, Cavaliero-Justice; tell him, bully-rook. 191 FORD. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burn'd sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest. HOST. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? And thy name shall be Brook. Will you go, Mynheers? It is a merry Knight. SHAL. Have with you, mine Host. 200 PAGE. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. SHAL. Tut, Sir, I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccados, and I know not what: 'tis the heart, Master Page: 'tis here, 'tis here! I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. 208 HOST. Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag |