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FAL. Very well, Sir; proceed.
FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's
name is Ford.
FAL. Well, Sir.
FORD. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd much on her, follow'd her with a doting observance; engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given; briefly I have pursu'd her, as love hath pursu'd me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed,' I am sure, I have receiv'd none; unless experience be a jewel. That I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this:
Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues;
FAL. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her
FAL. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose?
FAL. Of what quality was your love then?
FORD. Like a fair house, built upon another man's
FAL. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? 208
Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose. You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many warlike, courtlike, and learned preparations
FAL. O, Sir!—
2 the best society.
There is money:
FORD. Believe it, for you know it!
FAL. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your
FORD. O, understand my drift! She dwells so securely
FAL. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your
say you shall,
FORD. Want no money, Sir John: you shall want none. FAL. Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook: you shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night: you shall know how I speed.
FORD. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know
FAL. Hang him, poor cuckoldy knave! I know him not. Yet I wrong him to call him poor: they say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which his wife seems to me well-favour'd. I will use 1 (fencing) guard.
her as the key of the cuckoldy rogue's coffer; and ACT II there's my harvest-home. Sc. II
FORD. I would you knew Ford, Sir: that you might
FAL. Hang him, mechanical, salt-butter rogue! I will
FORD. What a damn'd Epicurean rascal is this! My
SCENE III. Windsor Park.
Enter CAIUS and RUGBY.
CAIUS. Jack Rugby!
CAIUS. Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUG. "Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd
CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come:
he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come. By gar,
Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
RUG. He is wise, Sir: he knew your Worship would kill him, if he came.
CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
RUG. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence.
CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier.
Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE.
HOST. 'Bless thee, bully Doctor.
SHAL. Save you, Master Doctor Caius.
SLEN. Give you good-morrow, Sir.
CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin,' to see thee traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse," thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethiopian ? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my Heart of Elder?" ha! is he dead, Bully-stale ? is he dead?
CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld: he is not shew his face.
HOST. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal!
1 thrust. 2 parry. 174 • upright blow
push thy point. 7 pith.
Greece, my boy!
CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
SHAL. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair1 of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHAL. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the Peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us: we are the sons of women, Master Page. devuld may
PAGE. Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHAL. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the Peace; you have shew'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shewn himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor. 52 HOST. Pardon, Guest-Justice- Ah, Monsieur Muck
CAIUS. Muck-vater; vat is dat?
HOST. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much muck-vater as de Englishman. Scurvy Jack-dog priest; by gar, me vill cut his ears.
HOST. He will clapper-claw' thee tightly, bully.
CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
HOST. That is, he will make thee amends.
CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag.3
CAIUS. Me tank you for dat.
HOST. And moreover, bully- But first, Master Guest,
and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you
PAGE. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
2 deal roundly with.
8 (slang) trot, 'clear.'