FAL. Very well, Sir; proceed. 180 ACT II FORD. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford. FAL. Well, Sir. FORD. I have long lov'd her, and, I protest to you, bestow'd much on her, follow'd her with a doting observance; engross'd opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given; briefly I have pursu'd her, as love hath pursu'd me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my means, meed,' I am sure, I have receiv'd none; unless experience be a jewel. That I have purchas'd at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this: "Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues ; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.' FAL. Have you receiv'd no promise of satisfaction at her hands? FORD. Never. FAL. Have you importun'd her to such a purpose ? FAL. Of what quality was your love then? 200 FORD. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground: so that I have lost my edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it. FAL. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? 208 FORD, When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose. You are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allow'd for your many warlike, courtlike, and learned preparations——— FAL. O, Sir!— 218 ACT II FORD. Believe it, for you know it! There is money: spend it, spend it, spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife : use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if any man may, you may as soon as any. FAL. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very preposterously. 228 FORD. O, understand my drift! She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my wit dares not present itself: she is too bright to be look'd against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward1 of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too strongly embattl'd against me. What say you to 't, Sir John? FAL. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. 241 FORD. O good Sir! FAL. I say you shall. FORD. Want no money, Sir John: you shall want none. I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that 252 FORD. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know FAL. Hang him, poor cuckoldy knave! I know him not. 260 Sc. II her as the key of the cuckoldy rogue's coffer; and ACT II there's my harvest-home. FORD. I would you knew Ford, Sir: that you might avoid him, if you saw him. FAL. Hang him, mechanical, salt-butter rogue! I will Better Fie, fie, [exit. CAIUS. Vat is the clock, Jack? RUG. 'Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet. CAIUS. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come: he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come. RUG. He is wise, Sir: he knew your Worship would kill him, if he came. ΙΟ CAIUS. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him. RUG. Alas, Sir, I cannot fence. CAIUS. Villainy, take your rapier. RUG. Forbear; here's company. Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE. HOST. 'Bless thee, bully Doctor. SHAL. Save you, Master Doctor Caius. PAGE. Now, good Master Doctor! SLEN. Give you good-morrow, Sir. 3 20 CAIUS. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? HOST. To see thee fight, to see thee foin,' to see thee traverse,2 to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse," thy distance, thy montánt. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my Heart of Elder?" ha! is he dead, Bully-stale ?8 is he dead? CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld: he is not shew his face. 30 HOST. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal! Hector of CAIUS. I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six SHAL. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair1 of your professions. Is it not true, Master Page? PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace. 40 SHAL. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the Peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us: we are the sons of women, Master Page. PAGE. 'Tis true, Master Shallow. SHAL. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the Peace; you have shew'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shewn himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor. 52 HOST. Pardon, Guest-Justice- Ah, Monsieur Muck water. CAIUS. Muck-vater; vat is dat? HOST. Muck-water, in our English tongue, is valour, CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much muck-vater as de cut his ears. HOST. He will clapper-claw2 thee tightly, bully. CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? HOST. That is, he will make thee amends. 60 CAIUS. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it. HOST. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag. HOST. And moreover, bully- But first, Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore. PAGE. Sir Hugh is there, is he? [aside to them. 71 HOST. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the Doctor about by the fields. Will it do well? SHAL. We will do it. ACT II Sc. III |