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Nine o'clock dilto. Tied my knee-strings, and washed my hands.
Hours, ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked three pipes of Virginia. Read the Supplement and Daily Courant. Things go ill in the North. Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupon.
One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph for mislaying my tobacco-box.
Two o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem. Too many plumbs, and no sewet.
From three to four. Took my afternoon's nap.
From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's opinion about the
Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face, shaved, put on my double soled shoes.
Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to Islington.
Between two and three. Returned, dined on a knuckle of veal and bacon. Mem. Sprouts wanting.
Three. Nap as usual.
From four to six. Coffee-house. Read the news. A dish of twist. Grand Vizier strangled.
From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's account of the
Dream of the Grand Vizier. Broken sleep.
WEDNESDAY, eight o'clock. Tongue of my shoe-buckle broke Hands but not face.
Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. To be allowed for the last leg of mutton.
Ten, eleven. At the coffee-house. More work in the North. Stranger in a black wig asked me how stocks went.
From twelve to one. Walked in the fields. Wind to the south.
From one to two. Smoked a pipe and a half.
Three. Nap broke by the falling of a pewter dish. Mem. Cook-maid in love, and grown careless.
From four to six. At the coffee-house. Advice from Smyrna, that the Grand Vizier was first of all strangled, and afterwards beheaded.
Six o'clock in the evening. Was half an hour in the club before any body else came. Mr. Nisby of opinion that the Grand Vizier was not strangled the sixth instant.
Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept without waking till nine next morning
THURSDAY, nine o'clock. Staid within till two o'clock for Sir Timothy, who did not bring me my annuity according to his promise.
Two in the afternoon. Sat down to dinner. Loss of appetite. Small beer sour. Beef overcorned.
Three. Could not take my nap.
Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the ear. Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a message to Sir Timothy. Mem. I did nat go to the club to-night. Went to bed at nine o'clock.
Friday. Passed the morning in meditation upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a quarter before twelve.
Twelve o'clock. Bought a new head to my cane, and a tongue to my buckle. Drank a glass of purl to recover appetite.
Troo and three. Dined, and slept well.
by there. Smoked several pipes. Mr. Nisby of opinion that laced coffee is bad for the head.
Six o'clock. At the club as steward. Sat late.
Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dreamt that I drank small beer with the Grand Vizier.
SATURDAY. Waked at eleven, walked in the fields, wind N. E.
Trelve. Caught in a shower.
Two. Mr. Nisby dined with me. First course marrowbones, second ox-cheek, with a bottle of Brooks and Hellier.
Three o'clock. Overslept myself.
Six. Went to the club. Like to have fall'n into a gutter. Grand Vizier certainly dead, &c.
I question not, but the reader will be surprised to find the above-mentioned journalist taking so much care of a life that was filled with such inconsiderable actions, and received so very small improvements; and yet, if we look into the behaviour of many whom we daily converse with, we shall find that most of their hours are taken up in those three important articles of eating, drinking, and sleeping. I do not suppose that a man loses his time, who is not engaged in public affairs, or in an illustrious course of action. On the contrary, I believe our hours may very often be more
profitably laid out in such transactions as make no figure in the world, than in such as are apt to draw upon them the attention of mankind. One may become wiser and better by several methods of employing oneself in secrecy and silence, and do what is laudable without noise or ostentation. I would, however, recommend to every one of my readers, the keeping a journal of their lives for one week, and setting down punctually their whole series of employments, during that space of time. This kind of self-examination would give them a true state of thomselves, and incline them to consider seriously what they are about. One day would rectify the omissions of another, and make a man weigh all those indifferent actions, which, though they are easily forgotten, must certainly be accounted for.
No. 323. TUESDAY, MARCH 11.
Modo vir, modo fæmina
The journal with which I presented my reader on Tuesday last, has brought me in several letters, with accounts of many private lives cast into that form. I have the Rake's Journal, the Sot's Journal, the Whore-master's Journal, and among several others a very curious piece, entitled, The Journal of a Mohock. By these instances I find that the intention of my last Tuesday's paper has been mistaken by many of my readers. I did not design so much to expose vice as idleness, and aimed at those persons
pass away their time rather in trifles and impertinence, than in crimes and immoralities. Offences of this latter kind are not to be dallied with, or treated in so ludicrous
In short, my journal only holds up folly to the light, and shews the disagreeableness of such actions as are indifferent in themselves, and blameable only as they proceed from creatures endowed with reason.
Supposed to have been quoted from memory, instead of the following lines :Et juvenis quondam, nunc fæmina
Æn, vi. 448.
My following correspondent, who calls herself Clarinda, is such a journalist as I require: she seems by her letter to be placed in a modish state of indifference between vice and virtue, and to be susceptible of either, were there proper pains taken with her. Had her journal been filled with gallantries, or such occurrences as had shewn her wholly divested of her natural innocence, notwithstanding it might have been more pleasing to the generality of readers, I should not have published it; but as it is only the picture of a life filled with a fashionable kind of gaiety and laziness, I shall set down five days of it, as I have received it from the hand of my correspondent.
“ DEAR MR. SPECTATOR, “ You having set your readers an exercise in one of your last week's papers, I have performed mine according to your orders, and herewith send it you enclosed. You must know, Mr. Spectator, that I am a maiden lady of a good fortune, who have had several matches offered me for these ten years last past, and have at present warm applications made to me by 'A Very Pretty fellow.?! As I am at my own disposal, I come up to town every winter, and pass my time in it after the manner you will find in the following journal, which I began to write upon the very day after your Spectator upon that subject.
Tuesday night. Could not go to sleep till one in the morning for thinking of my journal.
WEDNESDAY. From eight to ten. Drank two dishes of chocolate in bed, and fell asleep after them.
From ten to eleven. Eat a slice of bread and butter, drank a dish of bohea, read the Spectator.
*V. Tatler, Nos. 21-24.-C.