It never fhall be done or faid:
With that he feiz'd upon his blade;
And Ralpho too, as quick and bold,
Upon his basket-hilt laid hold,
With equal readiness prepar'd,
To draw and stand upon his guard;
When both were parted on the fudden,
With hideous clamour, and a loud one,
As if all forts of noise had been
Contracted into one loud din;
Or that fome member to be chofen
Had got the odds above a thousand;
And by the greatnefs of his noise,
Prov'd fitteft for his country's choice.
This ftrange furprifal put the Knight
And wrathful Squire into a fright;
And though they food prepar'd, with fatal
Impetuous rancour, to join battle,
Both thought it was the wifeft course
To wave the fight, and mount to horse,
And to fecure, by fwift retreating,
They might diftinguish different noife
Of horns, and pans, and dogs, and boys,
And kettle-drums, whofe fullen dub
Sounds like the hooping of a tub.
But when the fight appear'd in view,
They found it was an antique fhew;
A triumph that, for pomp and state,
Did proudest Romans' emulate:
For as the Aldermen of Rome
Their foes at training overcome,
And not enlarging territory,
(As fome, mistaken, write in story)
Being mounted in their best array,
Upon a carre, and who but they?
And follow'd with a world of tall-lads,
That merry ditties troll'd, and ballads,
Did ride with many a Good-morrow,
Crying, Hey for our town, through the Borough;
So when this triumph drew fo nigh,
They might particulars defcry,
They never faw two things fo pat,
In all refpects, as this and that.
First he that led the cavalcate
Wore a fow-gelder's flagellate,
Ver. 587. They might diftinguifb, &c.] They might difcern refpective noije, in the two first editions of 1664. Ver. 596. Their foes.] For foes, in all editions to 1704, inclufive.
Ver. 609, 610.] Cavalcate,-Flagellate, in the four firft editions. Afterwards altered to, cavalcade, flagellet.
On which he blew as ftrong a levet,
As well-fee'd lawyer on his brev'ate,
When over one another's heads
They charge (three ranks at once) like Sweads.
Next pans and kettles of all keys,
From trebles down to double base;
And after them, upon a nag,
That might pass for a forehand stag,
A Cornet rode, and on his staff
A fmock difplay'd did proudly wave;
Then bagpipes of the loudest drones,
With fnuffling, broken-winded tones,
Whose blafts of air, in pockets fhut,
Sound filthier than from the gut,
And make a viler noise than swine,
In windy weather, when they whine.
Next one upon a pair of panniers,
Full fraught with that which, for good-manners,
Ver. 613, 614.] Thefe two lines are not in the two fift editions of 1664, but added in 1674. Like Sweads, altered, 1684, to Swedes.
Next after, on a raw-bon'd steed,
The conqueror's Standard-bearer rid,
And bore aloft before the champion
A petticoat difplay'd, and rampant;
Near whom the Amazon triumphant
Beftrid her beaft, and on the rump on 't
Sat face to tail, and bum to bum
The warrior whilom overcome,
Arm'd with a fpindle and a distaff,
Which as he rode fhe made him twift off;
And when he loiter'd, o'er her shoulder
Chaftiz'd the reformado foldier.
Before the Dame, and round about,
March'd whifflers and ftaffiers on foot,
With lackies, grooms, valets, and pages,
And at fit periods the whole rout
Set up their throats with clamorous fhout.
The Knight tranfported, and the Squire,
Put up their weapons and their ire;
And Hudibras, who us'd to ponder
On fuch fights with judicious wonder,
Could hold no longer to impart
His animadverfions, for his heart.
* Quoth he, In all my life, till now,
I ne'er faw fo profane a fhow;
It is a Paganifh invention,
Which Heathen writers often mention;
And he who made it had read Goodwin,
Or Rofs, or Cælius Rhodogine,
With all the Grecian Speeds and Stows,
That beft defcribe thofe ancient shows;
And has obferv'd all fit decorums
We find defcrib'd by old historians:
For as the Roman conqueror,
That put an end to foreign war,
Entering the town in triumph for it,
Bore a flave with him in his chariot t;
So this infulting female brave
Carries, behind her here, a flave:
And as the Ancients long ago,
When they in field defy'd the foe,
Hung out their mantles della guerre,
So her proud Standard-bearer here,
Waves on his fpear, in dreadful manner,
A Tyrian petticoat for banner.
Next links and torches, heretofore
Still borne before the emperor :
And as in antique triumph eggs
Were borne for myftical intrigues;
There's one, in truncheon like a ladle,
That carries eggs too, fresh or addle;
Ver. 671.] This, and the following line, not in the
two first editions of 1664, but added 1674.
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