HAVING thus gotten our Hands together on board, we beg leave to step back to our Indian Hero, the undaunted Cannaffatego, and to introduce to our Readers fome other Perfons who are to figure and make Part of the Company in this Voyage; and as the Way may be rather longer than is generally imagined by moft Readers, we fhall here take leave to breathe a little before we fet out, and close this Chapter.

CHA P. VII.

Two Ladies of very different Shapes and Degrees of Beauty, as well as Difpofition of Soul, are introduced to our Male Readers to take their Choice of.

I

T is a Remark which we have more than once made, that Authors frequently close a Chapter with a Promise of beginning the next with a certain particular Story, Account, Reason, or other Matter of Confequence, which very Circumftance is never after recorded in the whole Work; this we presume arifes fometimes from want of Memory, at others from want of Capacity, and not unfrequently for no Reafon at all.

NEITHER of these however do we offer for not going on to meet Cannassatego, the Indian Chieftain, on the Road, as we promised in our last Chapter.

Be it known therefore to our Readers, that being extremely addicted to deep Reflection from our Youth upwards, when at School we expected the coming of our Father's Servant with Horfes to carry us home at the Jubilee Times of Christmas, Eafter, and Whitfuntide, that always urged by Impatience, we went out to meet the Man and Horfes even to fome Miles distance; this, from the above Talent of Reflection, now nipp'd by grey Hairs of Impatience, we found did not at all help the Servant to the Town, where he must arrive on fome other Errands, or ourselves to the Journey's End; the whole that happened was, that we returned on Horfeback the

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Way we walk'd out on Foot, and were never the nearer Home, for all this Perambulation.

IN like manner we conceive, if we walk'd thro' the Woods of America to meet this valiant Chief, we could in no wife haften his Journey to New-York; we fhall therefore not lofe Time and Pains in that Affair, but employ ourselves in that Town, and make all Things ready for his fpeedy Departure.

THIS we fhall in great Part effect, by giving a fmall Description of two Females, who were to be the Companions of the Voyage.

THERE is, amongft fome Collections of curious Sayings, an old Adage, which fays, “ Age before "Honefty;" this, for aught we know, might be right, before Honefty was banished the Kingdom; but as we know of no Adage, Proverb, Wife-faying, witty Expreffion, or Bon-mot, ancient or modern, which fays, "that an old Maid who is not handfome, "fhould take place of a young one who is," we shall without Hefitation prefer Beauty to all other Confiderations, and begin with Mifs Lydia Fairchild.

THIS young Lady, when a Child of two Years old, had been left by her Father and Mother, who quitted New-York with several other elder Children, to the Care of a Gentleman, who had promised to be a Parent, and provide for her.

As he grew up, fhe was very handfome, wellfhaped, of a fine Complexion, and gracefully eafy; her Eyes were large, black, and very fhining; her Nofe and Forehead in the Grecian Taste; her little Mouth and plumpy Lip, when the fimiled, discovered the finest Teeth, which, like Ivory, fhone through Skains of crimfon Silk; her Hair hung in gloffy Ringlets of Black upon her fnowy and ample Neck, which was united to her Head with great Grace and Elegance; thro' thefe Features emanated a Sweetness of Soul, which expreft as much Innocence as Eve knew in Paradife, before the Serpent had feduced her to Destruction; gay, as untainted Probity, she wanton'd like the Lamb which claims Affection from all Eyes, and which defends itself from all but Hands inured to Bloodshed, by its inoffenfive Appearance.

THE

THE other was Mifs Rachael Stiffrump, defcended from the true Brood of rigid Prefbyterian Obftinacy; she was renowned thro' all the Province for her strict Obfervation of the Sabbath; fhe had never from her Youth upwards once ftept across the Trefhold of the Door on a Sunday, but to the Meeting-house, not even to make, fo ftrictly had fhe obferved the keeping the Lord's Day; and in walking the Streets on this Day, the never turned her Eyes to the right Hand or the left, left she should behold the carnal Cock profaning the Sabbath, by folacing the lafcivious Hen; fhe had the Affembly's Catechifm by Heart, fung Mr. Watts's Hymns to a Miracle, and no Man or Women in all America had a more happy Twang in reading a Sermon than Mrs. Rachael: In the Practice of these three Things, with now and then a Chapter in the Bible, the most piously past the Sabbath in her own House, after the Service was finished.

This devout young Woman was as fingular in Body as in Soul, not formed by Nature in the common Way, but upon Principles and Proportions which that Goddess only referves for her greatest Favourites.

AND here, in Compliance to that Dame, who departed from the ufual Rules in compofing Mrs. Rachael, we fhall alfo imitate her in our Defcription, by beginning at the wrong End also.

HER Feet then were long, thick, and broad, in true architectical Proportion adapted to the fuftaining Bodies of Weight and Importance, which require Strength below; from the Feet to the Wafte fhe was fashioned in Imitation of the Arms of Cupid, not strait as his Arrow, but bent like the Bow of that Archer nor flender, but as if originally defigned to fupply Timber for the making new ones, as his old wore out.

HER Knees from their Cradle had received rather a too polite Breeding, and kept more than their due Distance from one another.

HER Pin-bones were covered with more Fat than any Ox in Smithfield Market, upon which the lean'd her two Elbows, like a Lady on an arm'd Chair.

HER Wafte was round and found, fix Times as fubftantial as Peg Woffington's, and much fhorter;

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her lovely Bofom resembled two half-blown Bags of a Scotch Bag-pipe in Size, and like those Machines hung in their proper Place under her Arms, when he had no Stays on; however with the Addition of this Whalebone Conveniency, they were reftored to their true Situation, and look'd like two Kettle-drums ftrutting before the Shoulders of not a very white Horse. FROM her broad Shoulders hung two Arms, to which were faftened two Hands, which we very much regret were not known in the Times of Homer; if they had, we are convinced that great Poet, fo happy in his Images, would not have fo fneakingly defcribed the Morning by the rofy-fingered, but the rofyfifted Aurora; fo liberal had Nature been in pouring out her Charms on this Female.

BEING in extreme good Humour and intending to finish her as he began, the proceeded in her Workmanship above as below, and clapt her Head upon her two Shoulders, as Bakers do one Half of a Loaf upon another, without ftaying to form a Neck; by this means, a string ftretched before from the Top of one Shoulder to the other, muft pafs thro' her Mouth, which Feature was furrounded with a black Fringe, a Gift that Nature in her moft liberal Fits feldom beftows on her Female Favourites with fuch Profufion; her Lips resembled a Cherry on the rotten Side, crack'd with too much Ripenefs, within which her Teeth flood like the old Palifadoes of a Court in Shape and Colour, with here and there one wanting where the Dogs creep thro'.

HER Eyes were fmall and grey, and prevented from fhining by that which Poets call the Diamond Water running off to wafte in great Quantity; however, whatever was wanting in Size and Luftre in thofe Features, was amply made up in the Setting, being encircled in the new Tafte, by two very beautiful Rings of Rubies.

HER Nofe was equally prominent with her Cheeks, like the Heads of Cherubims from a bad Sculptor; and her Complexion of the Aurora Caft, like her Hands, entirely covered with Rofes, tho' the Odour which the breathed, was rather more resembling ano

ther

ther Vegetable, the Cabbage, as it is thrown away by inattentive Gardeners, when it begins to be most fragrant.

As this Lady's Charms were extremely rare, Nature had taken peculiar Care therefore to conceal them in fome Parts; for which Reason, the Hair of her Head began to take Root close to her Eye-brows, which laft were big enough for the Humming-bird to build his Neft in..

By means of this, her Hair which was dead Coalblack, wirey and strong as Horfe-Hair, concealed her lovely Forehead almost entirely.

IT is remarkable alfo, that this beneficent Mother having at firft forgotten to form Dimples in her Favourite, without which no Beauty is complete, had recollected the Mistake, and made ample Amends, by scattering them all over her Face, in many Places running into one another, by a fupplemental Affiftance, called the Small-pox.

HER Voice was exquifitely toned to the true Cant; a great Enemy to Fafting, which the conceived as popish and abominable, for this Reafon her Stomach was always cramm'd with good Cheer, her Mouth with Scripture-Sentences and the Name of the Lord, her Heart with Hypocrify and Mischief, and her Head to contrive falfe Appearances.

FROM this we may guefs, that tho' fhe had never been extremely handfome, yet being now Forty, The began to be given over by her Friends, as one not likely to improve much in her Perfon; but as Heaven has wonderful Ways of making up Deficiencies, he was allowed by all to have been amply rewarded with God's Grace, which all the Women, pleased with being handfome, agreed was much to be preferred to Beauty.

YET, alas! fuch is the frail Difpofition of Man, that there is scarce one in a Million, who would not prefer the Perfon of the Duchess of * *** * *, to all the Piety of all the Saints, inclofed in one ugly old Maid; and fuch is the Difpofition of Women alfo, that not one in ten Times that Number, but would chufe Beauty mix'd with fmall Frailties in this World,

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