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leman.* Satisfy me once more;- one more SCENE III.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Host and BARDOLPA.
Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three will come into the chamber.
of your horses: the duke himself will be toFord. Old woman! What old woman's that? morrow at court, and they are going to meet
Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of him.
Host. What duke should that be, comes so
Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you. under the profession of fortune-telling. She
Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had such daubery as this is; beyond our element: my houses a week at command; I have turned we know nothing.- -Come down, you witch, away my other guests: they must come off; you hag you; come down I say.
I'll sauce them: Come.
Exeunt. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband ;- SCENE IV.-A Room in Ford's House. good gentlemen, let him not strike the old Enter Page, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. Ford, and woman.
Sir Hugh Evans.
Evu. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a
'oman as ever I did look upon. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give Page. And did he send you both these let. me your hand.
ters at an instant ?
Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed ? I think, Than thee with wantonness : now doth thy hoyou have kill'd the poor woman.
As firm as faith.
Page. "Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Yet once again, to make us public sport, Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, you follow ; see but the issue of my jealousy: Where we may take him, and disgrace him if I cry out thus upon no trail,+ never trust
for it. me when I opený again.
Ford. There is no better way than that they Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:
Page. How! to send him word they'll meet
Era. You say, he has been thrown in the Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors
Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, in him, that he should not come; methinks, his and hang o'er the altar; it hath done merito flesh is punished, he shall have no desires. rious service.
Page. So think I too. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use hiin the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness
when he comes, of a good conscience, pursue him with any And let us two devise to bring him thither. further revenge?
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Mrs. Puge. The spirit of wantonness is, sure,
Herne the hunter, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us Walk round about an oak, with great raggia again.
[cattle; Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how And there he blasts the tree, and takes the we have served him?
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but
Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him Received, and did deliver to our age,
do fear Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak: shape it: I would not have things cool. But what of this?
(Exeunt. Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; Lover, Scab. 1 Scent.
+ Old age.
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir
Host. There's his chamber, his house, his Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed, 'tis come,
painted about with the story of the prodigal, And in this shape : When you have brought Iresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll him thither,
(plot ? speak like an Anthropophaginian* unto thee : What shall be done with him ? what is your Knock, I say, Mrs. Puge. That likewise have we thought Sin. There's an old woman, a fat woman, upon, and thus :
gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak And three or four more of their growth, we'll with her, indeed. dress
(white, Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be Like urchins, ouphes," and fairies, green and robbed : I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, John ! speak from thy lungs military : Ari thou And rattles in their hands; upon a gudden, there ? it is thine host, tbine Ephesian, calls. As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Fal. (above.) How now, mine host? Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the With some diffusedt song ; upon their sight, coming down of thy fat woman: Let her desWe two in great amazedness will fly:
cend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are Then let them all encircle him about,
honourable: Fye! privacy ? 'fye!
even now with me; but she's gone, Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wiset wo-
Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell ; What
would you with her? We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit, Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, And mock him home to Windsor.
sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, Ford. The children must
to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beBe practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. guiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Eva. I.wiH teach the children their beha
Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. viours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir ? to burn the knight with my taber.
Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozthem vizards.
ened him of it. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the the fairies,
woman herself; I had other things to have Finely attired in a robe of white.
spoken with her too, from him.
Host. Ay, come ; quick.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest. And marry her at Eton.- -Go, send to Falstaff
Sim. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about straight.
mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my
Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.
man told me so. And tricking for our fairies.
Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir ? Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleas- Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold ? nres, and sery honest knaveries.
Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my (Exeunt Page, FORD, and Evans. master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. Sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee?
(Exit Mrs. FORD.
Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one,
Bard. Out, alas, Sir! cozenage ! meer coz. Though twenty thousand worthier come to enage ! crave her.
Host. Where be my horses ? speak well of [Erit.
them varletto. SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn. Bard. Run away with the cozeners : for so Enter Host and SIMPLE.
soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me
off, from behind one of them, in a slough of Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, mire ; and set spurs, and away, like three thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; briet, German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. short, quick, snap.
Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, Eil, hobgoulin. + Wildl, discordant
A cannibal. + A cunning wom n, a fortune-teller. * Soundly. Necessaries.
villain : do not say, they be filed; Germans are | And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee hopest-men.
A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Enter Sir Hugh EVANS.
Host. I will hear you, master Fenton ; and
I will, at the least, keep your counsel. Era. Where is mine host ?
Fent. From time to time I have acquainted Host. What is the matter, Sir ?
you Era. Have a care of your entertainments : With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection there is three couzin germans, that has cozen- (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) ed all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Even to my wish : I have a letter from her Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you of such contents as you will wonder at; for good-will, look you : you are wise, and full The mirth whereof só larded with my matter, of gibes and vloutiog-stogs ; and 'tis not con- That neither, singly, can be manifested, venient you should be cozened : Fare you Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Fal. well.
staff Enter Doctor Caius,
Hath a great scene : the image of the jest.
(Showing the letter. Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity,
[one, and doubtful dilemma.
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell- Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen; a me, dat you make grand preparation for a The purpose why, is here ;* in which disguise, duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, While other jests are something rank on foot, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for Her father hath commanded her to slip good vill: adieu.
(Exit. Away with Slender, and with him at Eton Host. Hue and cry, villain, go :-assist me, Immediately to marry: she hath consented : knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, Now, Sir, villain! I am undone !
Her mother, even strong against that match, LExeunt Host
and Bardolph. And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed Fat. I would, all the world might be cozen- That he shall likewise shufile her away, ed; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. While other sports are tasking of their minds, If it should come to the ear of the court, how And at the deanery, where a priest attends, I have been transformed and how my transfor- Straight marry her to this her mother's plot mation hath been washed and cudgelled, they She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and Made promise to the doctor ;-Now, thus it liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant,
rests: they would whip me with their fine wits, till í Her father means she shall be all in white; were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never And in that habit, when Slender sees his time prospered since I forswore myself at Prime- To take her by the hand, and bid her go, ra.. Well, if my wind were but long enough to She shall go with him :-her mother hath insay my prayers, I would repent.
tended, Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.
The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,) Now! whence come you ?
That, quaint t in green, she shall be loose enQuick. From the two parties, forsooth.
rob’d, Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam With ribbands pendant, faring 'bout her head; the other, and so they shall be both bestowed ! And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition The maid hath given consent to go with him. is able to bear.
Host. Which means she to deceive? father Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I
or mother? warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. And here it rests,--that you'll procure the vicar
Fal. What tell’st thou me of black and blue? To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, I was beaten myself into all the colours of the And,
in the lawful name of marrying, rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for To give our hearts united ceremony. the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable - Host. Well, husband your device ; I'll to the dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action
vicar: of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave con- Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. stable had set me i' the stocks, i’ the common Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; stocks, for a witcb.
Besides, I'll make a present recompense. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your
(Exeunt. chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will
ACT V. say somewhat. Good, hearts, what ado here is
SCENE 1.A Room in the Garter Inn. to bring you together! Sure, one of you does
Enter Falstaff and Mrs. QUICKLY. not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. Fal. Pr’ythee, no more prattling;--go.-
I'll hold :: This is the third time; I hope, good SCENE VI.- Another Room in the Garter Inn.
luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go, they Enter FENTON and Host.
say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my nativity, chance, or death.-Away. mind is heavy, I will give over all. (purpose, Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do Fent. Yet here me speak : Assist me in my what I can to get you a pair of horns. A game at cards.
* In the letter, † Fantastically. Keep to the time.
Fal. Away, 1 say; time wears: hold up your Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. head, and mince. (Exit Mrs. Quickly. Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their Enter FORD.
lechery, How now, master Brook? Master Brook,
Those that betray them do no treachery.
the matter will be known to-night, or never.
Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on ; To the oak, Be
to the oak! you in the Park about midnight, at Herne's
[Exeunt. oak, and you shall see wonders.
SCENE IV.-Windsor Park. Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, Sir, as you told me you had appointed ?
Enter Sir Hugh Evans, and Fairies. Ful. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, ber your parts : be pold, I pray you; follow me
Eva. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and rememlike a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That
into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, same knave,' Ford her husband, hath the do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib. finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master
(Exeunt. Brook, that ever governed frenzy. I will tell SCENE V.-Another part of the Park. you.—He beat me grievously, in the shape of Enter Falstaff disguised, with u buck's head on. a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's
Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; beam; because I know also, life is a shuttle. the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded I am in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you gods assist me :-Remember, Juve, thou wast all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese,
a bull for thy Europa ; love set on thy borns. played truant, and whipped top, I knew not -O powerful love! that, in some respects, what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a me : I'll tell you strange things of this knave beast.—You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, the love of Leda ;-0, omnipotent love! how and I will deliver his wife into your hand. near the god drew to the complexion of a Follow : Strange things in hand, master Brook! goose?-A fault done first in the form of a follow.
[Exeunt. beast;-0 Jove, a beastly fault! and then an SCENE II.-Windsor Park.
other fault in the semblance of a fowl; think
on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot Enter Page, Shallow, and SLENDER. backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am Page. Come, come; we'll couch i’ the castle here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, ditch, till we see the light of our fairies.- i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or Remember, son Slender, my daughter. who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who
Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, comes here? my doe? and we have a nay-word," how to know oné another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum ;
Enter Mrs. FORD and Mrs. Page. she cries, budget; and by that we know one Mrs. Ford. Sir John ? art thou there, my another.
deer? my male deer? Shal. That's good too: But what needs either Fal. My doe with the black scut ?—Let the your mum, or her budget? the white will de- sky rain potatoes ; let it thunder to the tune of cipher her well enough.—lt hath struck ten Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow o'clock.
eringoes; let there come a tempest of provoca., Page. The night is dark ; light and spirits tion, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her. will become it well. Heaven prosper our Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sport! No man means evil but the devil, and sweetheart. we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; Fal. Divide me like a bribe-buck, each a follow me.
[Exeunt haunch; I will keep my sides to myself, my
shoulders for the fellow" of this walk, and SCENE III.-The Street in Windsor.
my horns I bequeath your husbands. Am la Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Forr, and Dr. Carus. woodman ? ha! Speak I like Herne the hunter?
Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in - Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; green : when you see your time, lake her by he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit,
[Noise within. the hand, away with her to the deanery, and welcome! despatch it quickly: Go before into the park ;
Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise we two must go together.
Mrs. Ford. Heaven forgive our sins! Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu.
Fal. What should this be?
[They run of. abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the
Fal. I think, the devil will not have me doctor's marrying my daughter: but 'tis no damned, lest the oil that is in me should set matter;, better a little chiding, than a great hell on fire; he would never else cross me
thus. Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop Enter Sir Hugh Evans, like a satyr ; Mrs. of fairies ? and the Welsh devil, Hugh?
QUICKLY, and Pistol; ANNE PAGE, as the Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which, at
Fairy Queen, attended by her brother and
others, dressed like fairies, with waxen tapers the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting,
on their heads. they will at once display to the night.
Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, him.
You moon-shine revellers, and shades of night, Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be You orphan-beirs of fixed destiny, mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way | Attend your office, and your quality.tbe mocked.
Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes.
* Keeper of the forest.
Pist. Elves, list your names; silence, you Pinch him, fairies, mutuully : airy toys.
Pinch him for his villany; Cricket, to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap: Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about, Where tires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths Till candles, and star-light, and moonshine be out.
unswept, There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry :** During this song, the fairies pinch Falstaff. Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery. Doctor Caius comes one way, and steals away, Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, a fairy in green ; SLENDER another way, and shall die :
takes off a fairy in white; and FENTON comes, I'll wink and couch: No man their works must and steals away Mrs. ANNE Page. A noise eye.
(Lies doon upon his face, of hunting is made within. All the fairies run Era. Where's Pede?-Go you, and where you away. Falstaff pulls off his buck's head, and find a maid,
They lay hold on him.
Page. Nay, do not fly: I think, we have
watch'd you now; and shins.
Will none but Herne the hunter serve your Quick. About, about;
turn ? Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room;
Mrs. Page. I pray you, come; hold up the That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
jest no higher :In state as wholesome, as in state 'tis fit;
Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?
[yokes* Worthy the owner, and the owner it. The several chairs of order look you scour
See you these, husband ? do not these fair With juice of balm, and every precious flower: Become the forest better than the town? Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
Ford. Now, Sir, who's a cuckold now?With loyal blazon, evermore be blest !
Master Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly And nightly, meadow-fairies, look, you sing, And, master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing
knave; here are his horns, master Brook : Like to the Garter's compass, in a ring : of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and The expressure that it bears, green let it be, More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
twenty pounds of money; which must be paid And, Hony soit qui mal y pense, write,
to master Brook; his horses are arrested for it,
master Brook. In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and
Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; white;
we could never meet. I will never take you Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery, Buckled below fair knighthood's bending knee:
for my love again, but I will always count you Fairies use flowers for their charactery.t Away; disperse: But, till 'tis one o'clock,
Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made Our dance of custom, round about the oak Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.
Ford. Ay, and an ox too; both the proofs are
extant. Eva. Pray you, lock hand in hand : your
Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three selves in order set:
or four times in the thought, they were not And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be, fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the To guide our measure round about the tree.
sudden surprise of my powers, drove the grossBut, stay; I smell a man of middle earth.
ness of the foppery into a received belief, in Fa. Heavens defend me from that Welsh despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, fairy ! lest he transform me to a piece of cheese! that they were fairies. See now, how wit may Pist. Vile worm, thou wast o'er-look'd even be made a Jack-a-lent, when 'tis upon ill emin thy birth.
ployment. Quick. With trial-fire touch me his finger
Eva. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave end :
your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,
Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. And turn him to no pain ; but if he start,
Eva. And leave you your jealousies too, I It is the flesh of a corrupted heart. Pist. A trial, come.
Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, Era. Come, will this wood take fire ?
till thou art able to woo her in good English. They burn him with their tapers.
Ful. Have I laid my brain in the sun, and Fal. Oh, oh, oh! Quick. Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in de dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so
gross o'er-reaching as this? Am I ridden with sire ! About him fairies; sing a scornful rhyme :
a Welsh goat too? Shall I have a coxcomb of And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time. frize ?t 'tis time I were choked with a piece of
toasted cheese. Era. It is right; indeed he is full of lecheries
Eva. Seese is not good to give putter; your and iniquity.
pelly is all putter.
Fal. Seese and putter! Have I lived to SONG.
stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters Fye on sinful fantasy!
of English? This is enough to be the decay Fye on lust and luxury!
of lust and late-walking, through the realm. Lust is but a bloody fire,
Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, Kindled with unchaste desire,
though we would have thrust virtue out of our Fed in heart ; whose flames aspire,
hearts by the head and shoulders, and have As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher. given ourselves without scruple to hell, that
* Horns which Falstaff had. Whortleberry
+ The letters.
† A fool's cap of Welsh materials.