Brook, Falstaff's a knave, a cuckoldly knave; here are his horns, Master Brook: and, Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford's but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty pounds of money, which must be paid to Master Brook; his horses are arrested for it, Master Brook. Mrs. Ford. Sir John, we have had ill luck; 120 we could never meet. I will never take you for my love again; but I will always count you my deer. ass. Fal. I do begin to perceive that I am made an Ford. Ay, and an ox too: both the proofs are extant. Fal. And these are not fairies? I was three or four times in the thought they were not fairies: and yet the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden 130 surprise of my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now how wit may be made a Jack-aLent, when 'tis upon ill employment! Evans. Sir John Falstaff, serve Got, and leave your desires, and fairies will not pinse you. Ford. Well said, fairy Hugh. Evans. And leave your jealousies too, I pray you. Ford. I will never mistrust my wife again, till thou art able to woo her in good English. Fal. Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it, that it wants matter to prevent so gross o'erreaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too? shall I have a coxcomb of frize? 'Tis time I were choked with a piece of toasted cheese. 140 146. frize, coarse woollen stuff, largely made in Wales; cf. v. 172. Evans. Seese is not good to give putter; your belly is all putter. Fal. 'Seese' and 'putter'! have I lived to 150 stand at the taunt of one that makes fritters of English? This is enough to be the decay of lust and late-walking through the realm. Mrs. Page. Why, Sir John, do you think, though we would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the head and shoulders and have given ourselves without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could have made you our delight? Ford. What, a hodge-pudding? a bag of flax? Page. Old, cold, withered and of intolerable entrails? Ford. And one that is as slanderous as Satan? Ford. And as wicked as his wife? Evans. And given to fornications, and to taverns and sack and wine and metheglins, and to drinkings and swearings and starings, pribbles and prabbles? Fal. Well, I am your theme: you have the start of me; I am dejected; I am not able to answer the Welsh flannel; ignorance itself is a plummet o'er me: use me as you will. Ford. Marry, sir, we'll bring you to Windsor, to one Master Brook, that you have cozened of money, to whom you should have been a pandar: over and above that you have suffered, I think to repay that money will be a biting affliction. 170 Page. Yet be cheerful, knight thou shalt eat a posset to-night at my house; where I will desire 180 161. intolerable, monstrous, huge. 172. ignorance itself, etc. So deeply am I 'dejected' that ignorance itself is less deep by the length of a plummet line. thee to laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee: tell her Master Slender hath married her daughter. Mrs. Page. [Aside] Doctors doubt that if Anne Page be my daugher, she is, by this, Doctor Caius' wife. Enter SLENDER. Slen. Whoa, ho! ho, father Page! Page. Son, how now! how now, son! have you dispatched? Slen. Dispatched! I'll make the best in Glou- 190 cestershire know on 't; would I were hanged, la, else! Page. Of what, son? Slen. I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress Anne Page, and she's a great lubberly boy. If it had not been i' the church, I would have swinged him, or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it had been Anne Page, would I might never stir !—and 'tis a postmaster's boy. Page. Upon my life, then, you took the 200 wrong. Slen. What need you tell me that? I think so, when I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him, for all he was in woman's apparel, I would not have had him. Page. Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you how you should know my daughter by her garments? Slen. I went to her in white, and cried 'mum,' and she cried 'budget,' as Anne and I had ap- 210 pointed; and yet it was not Anne, but a postmaster's boy. Mrs. Page. Good George, be not angry: I knew of your purpose; turned my daughter into green; and, indeed, she is now with the doctor at the deanery, and there married. Enter CAIUS. Caius. Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened: I ha' married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by gar, a boy; it is not Anne Page: by gar, I am cozened. Mrs. Page. Why, did you take her in green? Caius. Ay, by gar, and 'tis a boy: by gar, I'll raise all Windsor. Ford. This is strange. Anne? [Exit. Who hath got the right 220 Page. My heart misgives me: Master Fenton. here comes How Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE. now, Master Fenton i Anne. Pardon, good father! good my mother, pardon ! Page. Now, mistress, how chance you went not 230 with Master Slender? Mrs. Page. Why went you not with master doctor, maid? Fent. You do amaze her: hear the truth of it. 233. amaze, bewilder. 240 Which forced marriage would have brought upon her. Ford. Stand not amazed; here is no remedy: In love the heavens themselves do guide the state; Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate. Fal. I am glad, though you have ta'en a special stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath glanced. Page. Well, what remedy? give thee joy! Fenton, heaven 250 What cannot be eschew'd must be embraced. Fal. When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased. Mrs. Page. Well, I will muse no further. Master Fenton, Heaven give you many, many merry days! Ford. [Exeunt. |