And though that nature with a beauteous wall
Doth oft close in pollution, yet of thee

I will believe thou hast a mind that suits
With this thy fair and outward character.
I prithee, and I'll pay thee bounteously,
Conceal me what I am, and be my aid
For such disguise as haply shall become
The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke:
Thou shalt present me as an eunuch to him:
It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing
And speak to him in many sorts of music
That will allow me very worth his service.
What else may hap to time I will commit;
Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.

Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be
When my tongue blabs, then let mine eyes not see.
Vio. I thank thee: lead me on.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III. OLIVIA'S house.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA.

Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure care's an enemy to life.

Mar. By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours.

Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.

Sir To. Confine! I'll confine myself no finer 10

59. allow, approve.

7. except before excepted, properly a legal phrase, meaning 'with the exceptions named';

་

Sir Toby applies it in the sense of Maria's exceptions,' 'object to what has been before objected to.'

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than I am these clothes are good enough to drink in; and so be these boots too: an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.

Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.

Sir To. Who, Sir Andrew Aguecheek?

Mar. Ay, he.

Sir To. He's as tall a man as any 's in Illyria.
Mar. What's that to the purpose?

Sir To. Why, he has three thousand ducats a year.

Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats he's a very fool and a prodigal.

Sir To. Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o' the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.

Mar. He hath indeed, almost natural: for besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.

Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels and substractors that say so of him. Who are they? Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.

20

30

40

Sir To. With drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria: he's a coward and a coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his 20. tall, able. 30. natural, (quibbling) like an idiot.

27. viol-de-gamboys, violoncello.

37. substractors, detractors. 43. coystrill, knave.

brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top.

What,

wench! Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.

Enter SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK.

Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby

Belch !

Sir To. Sweet Sir Andrew!

Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew.

Mar. And you too, sir.

Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.
Sir And. What's that?

Sir To. My niece's chambermaid.

Sir And. Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.

Mar. My name is Mary, sir.

Sir And. Good Mistress Mary Accost,

Sir To. You mistake, knight: 'accost' is front

her, board her, woo her, assail her.

Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of

'accost?'

Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen.

Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would

thou mightst never draw sword again.

Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again.

think you have fools in hand?

my

Fair lady, do you

Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand.

Sir And. Marry, but you shall have; and here's hand.

Mar. Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.

45. Castiliano vulgo! Probably a meaningless flourish.
52. Accost, approach.

50

60

70

Sir And. Wherefore, sweet-heart? what's your

Sir And. Are you full of them?

Mar. Ay, sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren.

[Exit. Sir To. O knight, thou lackest a cup of canary : when did I see thee so put down?

Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef and I believe that does harm to my wit.

Sir To. No question.

Sir And. An I thought that, I'ld forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.

Sir To. Pourquoi, my dear knight?

Sir And. What is 'pourquoi'? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts!

90

Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head 100 of hair.

Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair?

77. dry. A moist hand was a sign of love, a dry hand of its absence. Sir Andrew's was not a lover's hand.

81. A dry jest, a dull one; wit

being conceived as a moisture or 'humour' of the brain.

100, 101. Sir Toby affects to have understood tongs for tongues, the two words then being phonetically equivalent.

Sir To. Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by nature.

Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does 't not?

Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.

Sir And. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or if she be, it's four to one she 'll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos her.

Sir To. She 'll none o' the count.: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear 't. Tut, there's life in 't, man.

Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

Sir To. Art thou good at these kickshawses, knight?

Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man.

Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?

Sir And. Faith, I can cut a caper.

Sir To. And I can cut the mutton to 't.

Sir And. And I think I have the back-trick

simply as strong as any man in Illyria.

Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid? where

105. curl by nature. Theobald's happy emendation for Ff, coole my nature.

122. kickshawses, trifles ('quelque-choses').

125. yet I will not compare with an old man. Probably VOL. II

Sir Andrew means a man of long experience in these things, using a characteristically inept word.

127. galliard, a light and rapid but complicated dance, 'full of tricks and turns.' 2 B

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