Quest. Wilt thou keep up to the rules of the Chesterfield morality?

Answ. I will, Lord Chesterfield being my admonisher.

Then the Officiator shall say,

Name this child.

Answ. A fine gentleman.

Then he shall say,

"I introduce thee to the world, the flesh and the devil, that thou mayest triumph over all awkwardness, and grow up in all politeness; that thou mayest be acceptable to the ladies, celebrated for refined breeding, able to speak French and read Italian, invested with some public supernumerary character in a foreign court, get into parliament (perhaps into the privy council), and that, when thou art dead, the letters written to thy bastards may be published, in seven editions, for the instruction of all sober families.

"Ye are to take care, that this child, when he is of a proper age, be brought to court, to be confirmed."

A SKETCH OF MODERN FEMALE EDUCATION.

FROM the present mode of female education, one would really imagine, that the people of England were Turks, and did not believe that their daughters have souls.

A lady of fashion, if she knows not God, usually brings up a daughter in the following style. Little miss, almost as soon as born, is (it may be) so straitened and pinched up in her dress (under pretence of giving her a fine shape), that her health, and perhaps her shape itself, are materially the worse for it, during life.

As succeeding weeks and months roll on, her constitution receives still farther detriment, by the per

VOL. IV.

H H

nicious kindness of a too delicate and tender method of treatment. The nursery must always be over heated in order to be well aired. Miss must never be drest, nor undrest, but before a large fire. Nor have her hands and face washed but in warm milk and water, corrected with elder flowers or with a decoction of tansey. Nor on any pretence be carried, except when the sun shines, out of the house.

At four or five years old, she is taught to entertain false ideas of her own importance. Her mamma will not let her be contradicted. If she fall into a passion she must be soothed and humoured; not to say, applauded as a child of spirit. If she invents a falsehood, the dear little creature, instead of being punished as she deserves, is kissed and commended for her wit.

By degrees, she begins to consider herself as formed of more refined materials, and cast in a more elegant mould, than the generality of other people. She is struck with the love of pomp and equipage. Grows haughty and insolent to the servants. Values herself upon dress, and admires the reflection of her own face in the looking-glass.

At six or seven years of age, she looks over her papa and mamma, when they play at cards; and miss has some idea of gaming, before she is thoroughly versed in her A B C.

In due season, the care of her head is committed to a friseur; a Monsieur le Puff, from Paris. Her head-piece is also carefully cultivated by the milliner, and the jeweller; who decorate, with festoons, the pyramid which the friseur has raised. Perhaps the little pullet (shall I call her, or chicken) suddenly erects herself into a gigantic peahen, by tufting the pyramid with plumes half a yard high.

But what is a superb roof, without a well furnished front; swayed by this consideration, she begins to pencil her eye-brows, and to assume an artificial complexion. But let her not enamel. Let

her also abstain from colouring her neck, her breast, and arms, lest she fall a martyr to white lead, and kill herself in a few months, as some ladies of fashion have done before her. That miss may be thoroughly accomplished from head to foot, the aid of a foreign dancing master is called in. A French governess teaches her the language of that country, ere she is well mistress of her own, and perhaps poisons her mind with popery into the bargain. An Italian instructs her on the guitar. And a singing master at least teaches her to squeak, if she cannot sing. She has also to attend her a monster unheard of till now, called a card tutor, that she may know how to cheat with a genteel grace, when she goes into polite company.

By this time, I take for granted, she is a perfect adept in several smaller, but not unnecessary, embellishments, which the late lord Chesterfield would have called female graces. Such as to lisp, to mince some words, and to be utterly unable to pronounce some letters, to be extremely near sighted, to toss the fan with elegance, to manage the snuff-box according to art, to kiss a lap dog with delicacy, to languish with propriety, and be just ready, on some occasions, to faint away judiciously.

And now for routes, balls, operas, public gardens, masquerades, card parties, ridottos, and theatres. In a word, for every dissipation that can exhaust money, stifle reflection, kill time, gratify the lust of the eye, and feed the pride of life.

Amidst all this profusion, if miss does not inherit what is called a great fortune, she may possibly lie upon hands, and die at last without changing her name. But if she be entitled to an opulent estate, it may sell her to some rake of distinction; and they may live together without quarrelling, about three days; and prove faithful to each other, for near a week. I mean she may marry a rake of distinction, if she do not previously steal a flying march to Scot

land, with her father's butler, or valet de chambre, or the friseur above-mentioned. In which case, the disappointed rake of distinction must hunt for a wife elsewhere.

When the young lady becomes a mother, she gives her children an education similar to what she received

from her own mamma. And thus the world goes round! Thus do unconverted people tread the same circle, one after another! This is their foolishness, and their posterity praise their saying, and walk in the same steps, until they drop into hell, one by one. Dismal prelude to their meeting each other at Christ's left hand, in the day of judgment!

I should have observed, in its due place, that miss would have been carried within the walls of the church, a few weeks after she was born, if the clergyman had not been sent for, to christen her at home. She would also have gone to church on her weddingday, but for one or other of the following circumstances. Supposing she takes a trip to Scotland, going to church on the occasion is out of the question. And, if she marry with her parents' consent, it is ten to one, but that the ceremony is performed in her mamma's drawing-room, by special licence.— I must add, that she would certainly see the inside of a church, once a year (to wit, after every lying-in), if it were not the fashion among people of quality to be chambered, instead of churched, by having the thanksgiving-service read in their own respective apartments. And thus perhaps, miss never enters the house of God, until at her interment, she is carried in, feet foremost.

IMPORTANT REMARKS.

Is it not strange, that many talk of keeping God's commandments, and never remember, that this is the commandment of God, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another?

How many think of rearing up a building, whose top shall reach heaven itself; and quite forget to lay their foundation upon the rock, Christ Jesus!

What numbers talk of repentance; and never repent of the greatest of all sins, unbelief!

Though it is asserted in scripture, that, by the deeds of the law, no flesh shall be justified; yet how many, professing Christianity, expect to be justified no other way!

Though the intent of the law is, to be as a schoolmaster, to lead us unto Christ; yet many make no other use of it, than to substitute it in the room of Christ.

Though God has given us the righteousness of his Son, to be the garment of salvation; yet, what multitudes think their own righteousness is much safer to wrap themselves in, and trample the true wedding robe under their feet!

Though remission of sins is preached through the alone blood of Jesus; yet, too many believe their sins shall be remitted by some other means, and thus turn a deaf ear to the gospel sound.

Thousands cry peace, peace, to their own souls; who never obtained peace by Jesus Christ: and think no more of peace through his death, than through that of Julius Cæsar. But will such selfassumed peace stand at the bar of God?