for; upon my Sincerity Mr. Eugenius, I have not tafted a drop of Claret these two Years, but what I have met among innocent Strawberries, or in a Sawce or fo.

Crites. This renouncing of Wine, Friend Bays, is a greater wonder to me, than the renouncing of your Religion; and I can fcarce fancy thee to be the fame Perfon thou waft formerly.

Bays. Why truly Gentlemen, I dare not fay of my felf, that I am the fame individual Man I was fome Years ago; for let me tell you, Matter is in a perpetual Flux, and the whole Mafs both of Accidents and Subftance are thruft away by the continual Succeffion of new ones. Now, as I have not one Drop of the fame Blood, nor one Particle of the fame Clay about me which I had then, fo I thank my Stars, I have not the leaft Tincture of that Religion left behind which engaged my former State of Ignorance; that State I mean, which I may more properly call the Parenthefis of my Life, than that wherein I was not acquainted with the Noble Lord to whom I dedicated my Limberbam.

* Dedic. Epist. before Limberham.

*

Crites. Faith, little Bays, I am so much of thy Opinion, as to believe that after fo many Changes, thou haft as well fhifted the Chriftian, as the Man ; and I am perfuaded, we fhall have more Religions contend for thee, after thou art dead and rotten, than Cities ftrove for the Birth of a certain Perfon of your own Profeffion; from whofe Achilles, you'd needs perfuade the World that you copy'd the fierce Almanzor. I am told, your Friends of Dukes-Place, expect the next Change you make fhould be to their Part, which I fuppofe may be the more easily effected, unless you are bribed beforehand by a Chiaux with the Government of a Turkish Hofpital,

becaufe

because two of their best Kings, and most of their Prophets were Poetically given; and I fee no reafon, Mr. Bays, after you have traded fomewhat longer in Parable and Allegory, but that you may ftep in among their Minor Prophets.

Bays. O Sir your Servant; but I'll allow Men of your Perfuafion to be Scurrilous, 'tis the diflinguishing Character of your Church, and I expect e'er long, your Bear-Garden and BartholomewFair Men, will arrive to fuch a Pitch of Brutality and Irreligion, as to difmifs their Affemblies with an Ite, Milla est.

Eugen. But why all this ado about Religion, Mr. Bays? Why cannot we quit this Subject, to make way for more diverting Converfation? Come Sir, I'll fhow you fome Words which were made by a Friend of mine, upon that difmal Noife and Hurry we have lately had among the Traders in Controverfie, if you'll vouchsafe them the hearing. Bays. With all my heart Sir, provided there are no Touches upon the Government, no fubtle Infinuations, no

Eugen. Not fo much as one fingle Reflection, Mr. Bays.

Let the motly dull Herd for Religion engage,

Let them urge the Difpute with Clamour and Rage; Let their Authors keep on their vain Method of Writing, And fet (if they can) both Parties a fighting: We ne er make Replies, but are fully contented, Tho' Good Fellows and Drink have been misreprefented. Let their mufty grave Volumes to Thames-ftreet adjourn, Or rot in Duck-lane, or in Coffee-house burn: Let the Monarch of France keep his Subjects at home, And forbid the Mad Zealots abroad for to roam; So he lets his boon Claret but croß the kind Main, We shall never be angry, we shall never complain. What do you fay to thefe Lines now, Mr. Bays?

B

Bays.

Bays. The laft Turn there upon the French Proteftants, is well enough rally'd, "but the reft is exceeding profane; And pray, good Mr. Eugenius, will you advise your Friend from me, to employ his Talent to a better Ufe, and squander no more of it in Sonnet. You cannot imagine what a Mortification it is for a Noble Author, who has, at the great Expence of his Fancy,writ fomething which is vigorous and fine, to have his Song tagg'd with half a dozen gouty Stanza's, by a Grub-street-Hand, then advanc'd into a Ballad; and laft of all, plaifter'd up in a Country Ale-houfe, to confront the five Senfes, and the four Seasons of the Year.

Eugen. Indeed Mr. Bays, this is very hard Usage,

as I take it.

Bays. You may believe me Sir, 'tis one of the greatest Afflictions in the World, for I have had moft of my best Words fo ferved: And therefore if your Friend finds himself inclined to Write, there are feveral places in Cafimire, Urban, and Scribonius, that deferve his Confideration. Oh! there's an Epigram in Scribonius which I could repeat forty times a day, and never be weary on't; the Subject fo Divine, the Language fo Excellent, the Thought fo Noble.

Lac Matris mifcere volo cum Sanguine Nati,
Non poffum Antidoto nobiliori frui.

I'll give you a Copy of it Mr. Eugenius, if you'il promife me to use your Intereft, among any of your Acquaintance, to get it Tranflated.

Eugen. I'll fee, Mr. Bays, what may be done, tho' I fear I fhall not fucceed. But prithee, once more, Dear Rogue, let me ask thee,¡What News about the Town? What Plays? What Lampoons? What Opera's? What Sonnets ?

Bays. Troth Sir, I ca'nt tell, for of late I have not herded with thofe Gracelefs Rake-Hells, the Poets of the Town; and as for the Gazette, I

con

confult it as feldom as a Quaker does the Concordance; or a Physician the Bible. But because I see by my Watch I have half an Hour good, if you pleafe, Gentlemen, to take a turn or two in thefe Walks, I will,for our Old Acquaintance fake, impart a Secret to you; which, give me leave to tell you, is the most astonishing, the moft furprizing, the moft uncommon; and, if you make a right use of it, the moft useful Secret in the Universe.

Crites. Dear Bays, thou art always fo obliging. Bays. Hold, Are the Walks clear? So, Why then, Gentlemen, to my certain Knowledge, the Conflagration is at hand; and 'tis as impoffible for the World to continue above Ten Years, as 'tis for a Town-Debauchee to live as long as one of the Patriarchs before the Flood.

Crites. Faith Mr. Bayes, this, as you fay, is the moft furprizing Secret imaginable. And now to return you one Secret for another, I believe if this Secret were communicated to the World, it would ruine the Ensuring Office, to all intents and purposes: For who the Devil would give Money to have his Houses Enfured, and the Universal Bonfire fo nigh? But prithee, little Bays, tell me how you came by this Secret?

Bays. After the moft ftrange, unconceivable manner in the whole World. The Story is fomewhat of the longest, and therefore, Gentlemen, if you have any Occafions to call you afide at prefent, I'll defer it till fome agreeable Opportunity.

Crites. Oh by no means, Sir; we have no Bufiat this time to divert us, or if we had, Mr. Bays, we would freely facrifice it, tho' it were a Female Affignation, to have the Honour of your Company.

Bays. Sir, you perfectly overwhelm your humble Servant with Kindneffes. But to proceed to the Relation, - You are to understand, that in the Year

1685, fome three Weeks before my Converfion,Crites. Hold, Mr. Bays, were you no Chriftian at all before that time? What had become of your Immaterial Part, if you had dropt off before this late Conversion?

Bays. Loft affuredly, and in as wretched a condi.tion as that poor Gentleman that wou'd have begg'd a little Small-Beer of Abraham.

Crites. Why then, I find, Mr. Bays, you have more Charity for the Heathens, than most of your Fellow Chriftians: For in a certain Piece of yours, which fhall be nameless, but may easily be known by a remarkable Paffage in the Preface, that fays, you believe a Popish Plot: In this Piece of yours, fay, you make no Question at all of a Heathen's Salvation, provided he live but up to the Principles of Nature.

I

Bays. So I fay ftill: But where did you ever find a Proteftant, or a Mahometan, live up to the fober Principles of Nature?

The folly Luther, reading him, began

and

To Interpret Scripture by the Alcoran. But all this while we are befide our Story, therefore, to begin it again, you must know that at the time above-mention d, it was my Fortune to go down the River as far as Greenwich, with fome honest Irish Gentlemen of my Acquaintance.

Crites. Under favour Mr. Bays, How durft you hazard your felf among any of that Nation, fince you had put fo grofs an Affront upon them, in a certain.

First Part of the Mifcell.

Oxford-Prologue?

Pogues, that like Cain, are branded with Difgrace, And wear the Country Stamp'd upon their Face. Truly Sir, if I had faid half fo much of the Dear Joys as this amounts to, I fhould have been as loath to have trufted my felf in Irish Company, as I

fhould