Judge: the righteous to be re- fome effect in taking off her atceived to everlafting life, the tention from divine things, and wicked to be sentenced to end-rendering her more light and vain. lefs mifery-to a burning hell from whence there is no efcape. Let me call to mind how I have improved my opportunities of fecuring an intereft in Chrift. Let me notice and reflect upon my After her return fhe gave less evidence of deep concern, and appeared to be more taken up with the fcenes and profpects of the world. In this ftate fhe continued for fix or eight months-hav had frequent returns of anxiety in the mean time, and many ferious reflections. I felect the following articles, penned during this period, and in the following months up to September 1802. I opportunities, and how I haveing, as appears from her diary, neglected the great falvation. Since my remembrance there have been two different feafons of religious awakening in this town. God has fent the Holy Spirit, and brought his chofen few home to himself. By thefe, and by the death of friends, acquaintance and relatives, I have been brought to think of my danger. Sermons, also, and funerals, and letters have affected me. Laft of all, the death of my dear L- has fhowed me in a ftriking manner my on danger, and the neceffity of a preparation for death, in youth as well as in old age. She is gone -a youth of seventeen! She has appeared before her Judge! Her doom is fixed,-irrecoverably fixed!-Gracious God, give me a realizing fenfe of my danger, that I may haften a preparation for eternity, and join the happy number whofe God is the Lord." About the beginning of June, at the propofal of her friends, fhe went to spend two or three months in the city of New-York, with a view to a greater proficiency in mufic, and other polite accomplishments. On her return; which was about the end of July, fhe caught a violent cold, the effects of which continued, and were apparently the foundation of the confumption, which issued in her diffolution, as above mentioned. While fhe was in New-York, the new fcenes-diffipation and gaiety of the place, appear to have had In January 1802, being in a low ftate of health, she wrote as follows:-"Let me never hope to get health to fuch a degree, as to render me forgetful of him who has mercifully beftowed it. fhould wish to continue in this ftate, if a better one would make me forgetful, or cause me to look back with ingratitude on the past.. Let me ever look back with gratitude on the past, and wonder at the mercies received from a bountiful Creator; and forward, with refignation to the difpofals of Providence." In the month of April, having at a certain time taken tea abroad, fhe returned and wrote as follows: was pleafed with Mr. H— as I always am. At the table he asked a bleffing upon the food, and gave thanks for the refreshment. How pleafing is it to fee a family collect around their table and ask the divine bleffing on their food! To a religious mind, how is the bread fweetened, when it is received as from God, and his bleffing is implored upon it." The following reflection with the extract on religion were written after attending the funeral of a child. "What confolation would it be to thefe afflicted par ents, had they the comforts of re- | ligion-could they look up and fay, Not my will but thine be done !" perfon, who was in great distress, the writes:-"Why am not I alfo languifhing on a bed of fickness ? Who maketh us to differ? What How happily religion adapts its gratitude do I owe to my Maker influence to every relation and condi- for the prefent encouraging proftion in life! How it guards the pect that I may yet live, and have heart alike from foolish pride and opportunity to be useful to the impious difcontent, at what bounty world. But of gratitude I feem has bellowed, or wifdom denied! to be deftitute-cold and infenfiHow it humanizes, dignifies and ble-impenetrable as a rock! Tis exalts the foul !-How it enforces, the power of God only that can extends and refines the maxims of fubdue this stubborn, proud heart." worldly prudence! How it illuf September. Having been ab trates, binds, and enlivens the pre-fent for feveral weeks, on a jourcepts of morality! How it ampli-ney; on her return fhe writes fies, expands, regulates and bright- thus to a friend :-" My dear ens the views of philofophy-refer- M-I have hardly found time to ring every thing to God-deriving write the name, or reflect on the all from Him-carrying all back to month of Auguft, ere it is paft Him again! O man, till thou haft never to return, and September founded thy domeftic economy in re- comes to fill its place. I hardly · ligion, thou haft not begun to keep realize that we have had a fum houfe. Let thy poffeffions be ever mer, and that the fall has com fo fair-ever fo extenfive, they menced. Upon reflection I find want their principal charm, their time has been mifpent. While ill, higheft excellence, till the bleffing of my friends contributed greatly to heaven be asked and obtained. my comfort; but I am almoft deftitute of gratitude, to them; and to my Maker who has given me every thing I enjoy. I am indeed very unthankful. It has not been the conftant defire of my foul to gain heavenly peace-I am ftill deftitute of region, or any faving knowledge, ftill, alas! in the gall of bitternefs-The barveft is paft, the fummer is ended, and I am not faved !"** May.-In declining health. "Should thefe threatening fymptoms continue, little hope of recovery can be entertained. To learn a cheerful acquiefcence in the will of God, is the best of leffons. To look with equal joy upon profperity and adverfityto place our affections on things eternal and foul- fatisfying, to gain that peace which the world cannot give; and has no power to deftroy, is the highest happinefs of man. When a man meets death with a fmile, with a firm and unfhaken hope of a bleffed immortality-tis then, if ever, he is truly an object of envy. Nothing fhort of a good confcience, and the approbation of God, can yield confolation and peace to the foul in a dying hour." After this, for feveral months, or till about the beginning of Feb ruary 1803, her anxiety increased, and became very great. From the account she afterwards gave to the writer, it appeared that infinite Wifdom faw fit to give her a deeper fenfe of the plague of her heart, than fe had before experienced. A review of the peculiar privileges she had enjoy July. Having vifited a ficked-the invitations and warnings fhe had received, by the word of God and the death of friends the refolutions she had made, and fo greatly failed of accomplishing through the wickedness and treachery of her own heart, and the influence of others who were light and vain, together with her ingratitude to her Chriftian teachers and friends who had labored with her, and whose kindness, as fhe faid, had been neglected and abufed, almoft overwhelmed her, at times, with a fenfe of hardness and guilt; and inclined her to think that there was no mercy for her, and that the fhould be made a monument of divine wrath by an aggravated deftruction. She found that the had before entertained fome hope, though fearful of indulging it. But now fhe concluded that he had never experienced any faving change, and thought it probable fhe never fhould. It did not appear to the writer, from her account, that fhe had any fenfible exercises of oppofition to God at that time. For aught that appears the words of Job might have truly expreffed her ftate and feelings, "I have beard of thee, by the hearing of the ear, but not mine eye feeth thee; wherefore I abbor myself and repent in dust and afbes." In her diary at this time fhe wrote but little. The following is nearly the whole. me on this anniversary day, to look back and inquire in what fituation I ftood a year ago. I then had comfortable health. Now my health is very poor. I have advanced one year more in fin-have to render an account of one year more of wafted time. I have feen, and ftill fee, that the delufive joys of this world, are infufficient to fatisfy the defires of an immortal foul. world, and its fafcinating allurements, have found it in their pow er to draw this foolish heart to partake of them. But they are fading and unfatisfying. Their joys are the joys of a day or an hour." But the "January 1, 1803,-So paffes on the time. We mortals move along in the current, and ere we are aware, time with us is no longer. Days, weeks, months and years, move along in faft fucceffion, and we make no account of them. Few indeed there are, who number their days aright, and make provifion for that folemn account which all muft render at the bar of God. Many, I fear much the greater part, must ere long make the fad lamentation, The harvest is paft, the fummer is ended, and we are not faved. We fin away our day of grace, and die unfatisfied with this world, and awfully unprepared for another." "Jan. 2d, Lord's-day. From the bill of mortality which has been given us this day, it appears that there have been 24 deaths in this Society the year past; in which number were four females between the age of 20 and 24. Shall I who am now 17, live to fee that time? Ah! methinks I fhall not enter my 20th year, but fhall be cut off in the bloom of life.This is not for man to determine; but thou, O Lord knoweft; the number of my days are with thee, my bounds are fet, that I cannot pass." 66 Jan. 6th.-I entreat thee, O thou Maker of heaven and earth, to fend forth thy gracious Spirit, and make this finful heart, fenfible of thy favors. Inspire me with gratitude for received bleffings-thou, O Lord, canft reftore health to an unworthy object; make me the poffeffor of this invaluable bleffing; but above all wilt thou prepare me for whatever awaits me in life, whether health or ficknefs; and for death whenever it arrives, and an eternity to come. Look down in mercy on this family; recal our wandering steps and caufe us to feek the Lord; give us hearts of gratitude, and a spirit of prayer, for Chrift's fake." This closes her diary. After this her pen was wholly laid afide, except in a few inftances to write a line to fome of her friends. But it appeared from her account afterwards, that fhe continued in much the fame ftate of mind, till about the beginning of February, which was near four months before her death. At this time fhe experienced a memorable night. The views and exercifes of her mind fhe confidered as peculiar, She faw as he had not before feen, the glory and excellency of Chrift and her own abfolute 'need of juft fuch an almighty Saviour; and in a view of him, and of his glorious fulness, she had thofe feelings and exercifes which the afterwards hoped were indeed flying to him for refuge. From this time, the was more and more delighted and comforted by a view of the divine character, and in the thought of being in the hands of God. It pleated God fo to shed abroad his love into her heart, as to prepare her for the trials through which fhe was to pass, fupport her under pain and diftrefs, and render her an example of patience and fubmiffion, and a witnefs of the reality and power of experimental religion. She had before, in the course of her ficknefs fuffered much, but from about this time her trials increased; her diforder rapidly progreffed. About the time the obtained relief in the manner now mentioned, fhe began to be confined to the house, and foon after to her room, and her pain of body became very diftreffing; to all which fhe fubmitted without a murmur, and by a peculiar cheerfulness and ferenity, manifefted a fweet refignation of foul to the will of God. A principal mean by which the Spirit of God gave her fupport and comfort to her mind, was the holy fcriptures. In them fhe read with increafing delight and fatisfaction. There were fome particular paffages which the meditated upon with peculiar delight; among which were feveral verfes in the 116th Pfalm; the latter part of the 2 Cor. iv. and the 12th chap. of Ifaiah. When this chapter was' pointed out and expounded to her by a friend from a distance, who called to converfe and pray with her, it gave her great fatisfaction. It feemed to express moft happily the feelings of her foul; the holy gratitude of her heart to God for his goodnefs to her, and for the 'excellent things' he hath done for Zion. During moft of the time of her laft confinement, fhe had a com fortable hope, founded on a feufe of the glory of God and a fatisfaction in contemplating his perfections as appearing in the great work of redemption. She would But to fhow the power of divine grace in thus weaning her from the world, let it be remembered that her profpects in life, were peculiarly flattering; and that she alfo poffeffed great fenfibility and delicacy of affection, and had many of thofe tender ties which twine about the human heart.There are very few who have fo fair profpects of felicity in the connections and enjoyments of the world. Nor was the infenfible to these things. Yet after enume. rating them, and reflecting upon them, the faid fhe could freely give them all up for God; and was willing at his call to leave her friends, and forego the endearing connections and enjoymentsof life, which she had once expected, for the more pure and perfect enjoyments of his prefence. She was however willing to live, if fhe might be inftrumental of good to others. And though weak and languid in body, and diftreffed with pain, the endeavored to improve her time to fpeak for God, and to teftify to the importance, power and comfort of religion. She was a preacher of righteoufnefs to all about her. Parents, brothers, fifters, relatives, and the youth of her acquaintance were all tenderly addreffed. Grace was poured into her lips, and God was in all her thoughts. With great fay I "may be deceived, but I am not deceived in this, that the view which I have of the divine character, and his holy kingdom, gives fatisfaction and joy of foul." Her idea of God was that of a holy, just, and merciful Being, all whofe defigns and difpenfations are dictated and directed by infinite wisdom and fovereign goodnefs, and all her hope was founded on his free and fovereign grace through Chrift. She was frequent in speaking in the most feeling manner of her unworthinefs; condemning her past life, and admiring the forbearance and mercy of God to her in the days of her childhood and youth, while her heart was hankering after the van ities of the world. Though in view of the world fhe had been very decent and moral, and confidered by fome as rather precife and fuperftitious, yet a review of the manner in which fhe had spent her youth, gave her great pain. The levity of conduct, the vain and worldly converfation-the extravagant attention to drefs, and the round of amufements into which youth are fo inclined to plunge, fhe most pointedly condemned in herself, as having been inconfiftent with a juft tafte, and a proper attention to the chief end of man. She now viewed the world and its purfuits and poffeffions; and alfo the things of eter-earneftnefs, and yet with peculiar nity and the kingdom of God, in a very different light from what fhe had formerly done. She became lefs and lefs attached to the world, and felt an increafing defire to be prefent with the Lord. And as it was the intimation of God in his providence that he would foon appear by the meffenger of death; fo it seemed to be the language of her heart, "Amen even fo come Lord Jefus." VOL. IV. No. 4. modefty,prudence and filial respect, the addreffed her parents as fhe had opportunity, pleading with them to be refigned and perfectly willing that God should take her from them whenever it might be his pleasure. "Oh!" faid fhe, when fpeaking to the writer on this fubject, Oh! could my parents be wholly refigned to the will of God, refpecting me, whether in life or death, it would greatU |