the time refpected.. I frequently upon me to be alfo ready; and as felt heart-rifings and oppofition to upon reflection I could not affure the providential dealings of God.myfelf, that I was ready or preWhen my confort was repeatedly pared; it therefore appeared to laid upon a bed of ficknefs and be my duty and that God particbro't near the grave, and his par, ularly required of me, to make ents aged, and needing conftant my calling and election fure. Acattention and affiftance, whereby cordingly I fet about the great my whole time and strength were work with fixed determination to confumed in labor and care, fo go thro' with it, feeling my dethat I felt almoft overwhelmed, I pendence, aud willing to wait was often ready to fay with Jacob, God's time to manifeft himself to "all these things are against me," my foul, well knowing that if he and to query why I should thus was pleafed to delay this to the be diftinguished by affliction, feel- laft moments of my life, he would ing that I was hardly dealt with: do me no wrong; but that it Yet fuch checks and reproofs were would be infinite condefcenfion again and again fet before my and grace, if he should then apmind as filenced my repinings; pear for me, to give the comfortfhewed me the reasonablenefs and ing affurance of his love. I wish beauty of obedience, and tended ed to have a true gofpel difcovery to animate and excite me ftill vig-of Chrift, and the way of falva orously and perfeveringly to go on in the discharge of duty. I now upon recollection, loath and abhor myfelf for the stubbornnefs and perverfeness of my heart, and admire the patience and long-fuffering of the infinite Jehovah, that he should bear with myftubbornnefs and for give my rebellions, and not blot my name out of his book of life. In this ftate of mind I continued from the 22d to the 32d or 33d year of my life. In all this time I never much exercifed with fears of dying, altho' I was not affured of an intereft in Chrift; my whole attention and great defire was to perfect obedience in the fear of God. was tion by him. I greatly dreaded About the 33d year of my life, it pleafed the Lord to take away from me by death two brothers and a fifier, all in the courfe of four months. Thefe fudden and unexpected deaths of perfons fo near to me, alarmed me much, and led me to inquire more particular-it occurred that I had prefent duty ly into my own preparedness for to perform; accordingly I redeath. God feemed now to call folved with myself—“ I will at tend to all the duties of my family | Electing love I faw lay at the bot and station to which God is calling tom of the whole scheme of reme; and will do all the good I demption; were it not for electcan, and if I perish, I perifh." ing love, and grace, never would Upon which refolution I arose any of mankind be faved. And from my feat, and immediately I longed to have all the world felt a degree of relief; though no convinced of this glorious truth. particular views of divine things This I confider as a fpecial fealprefented to my mind for fome ing time; a time in which God minutes but as I was going to fealed his love to my heart; tho' profecute my refolution, I had ocas to my particular interest in the cafion to open a door of the house; great falvation, I had no fpecial and as I opened the door, God affurances; but I had not then, opened to the view of my mind nor have I had fince, any uncomthe door of hope for finners, in fortable thoughts refpecting it. the gofpel, in fuch a manner as Upon reading, in the evening affilled my foul with amazement. ter this view of things, in a book The wisdom, love and grace of entitled Sacramental exercises, I God, in the plan of falvation, found the following exclamation fhone with fuch luftre upon my and defire, "Oh, that I could love mind, that I ftood astonished. I thee better than any faint on earth, can think of nothing more expreff- or angel in heaven." Immediive of the view I then had, than ately upon reading the words, I what is faid of Stephen when he felt my heart going out in defires faw the heavens opened, and be- correfponding with the petition, held the glory of God, and Jefus and was filled with the most rav ftanding on the right hand of God. ifhing views of the glory of God, The way of falvation now ap- fhining in the face of Christ. Afpeared with a luftre I had never ter this, for months my whole beheld before. I faw clearly that work was praise. There feemed Jefus the mediator of the new to be no room for petition; excovenant had fulfilled the law, and cept as a certain one petitioned, that he is "the end of the law for "Lord ftay thine hand; thy ferrighteousness to every one that be- vant is a clay-veffel.” This, I lieveth." This effectually remao- often faid in my heart both then ved the burden which a fenfe of and fince, is a weight of glory. defects had brought upon my Thefe things have filled my mind mind, and enlarged my defires af- ever fince; and many refreshing ter God, and delight in him, to hours have I experienced from án inconceivable degree. My time to time in viewing the wonwhole foul was in a tranfport with ders of redeeming love. Yet my a view of the wondrous plan of spirit groans under a sense of fin falvation. I could not but won- and imperfection; and longs to be der why all men were not ravished freed from the body of this death. and tranfported with this plan, And now when my diffolution the effect of the eternal wifdom approaches, and I expect foon to and counfel of the triune God. depart, I can fay, through grace, And now I beheld fuch a glory that death is no terror to me; or and beauty fhining in the fove- rather I can fay, to be dead I am reign, free and eternal electing love not afraid. Death, in itself is of God, as I never faw before. I terrible-but by the death of Chrift it has loft its fting; and I can adopt the words of the apoftle in his holy triumph, "Oh death, where is thy fting?" and when he was near closing life by martyrdom, "I am now ready to be offered and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my courfe I have kept the faith; henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord the righteous judge fhall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them alfo that love his appearing." TO THE EDITORS OF THE CONNECTICUT EVANGELICAL MA before experienced; too great almoft to be realized, and fuch as feem to confound and overwhelm my feeble powers of utterance. I would paufe to echo (as an address to my own foul) the devout language of the Pfalmift: "Oh, that men would praife the Lord for his goodnefs and his wonderful works to the children of men!" For who can be under greater obligations to praise him than I am? I ask myself whether there be not a great mixture of felfishness in my present exercises of joy? I doubt not but there is; for tho', if I know any thing of my own heart and moral temper, I really defire the advancement of Chrift's kingdom, and feel a fenfible fatisfaction in hearing of, or witneffing the apparent converfion of any one finner; yet I muft acknowledge that my fenfe of divine mercy and my obligation to thankfulness are more deeply impreffed, when the glorious Redeemer condefcends to come under my roof, and by his fpirit applies the faving benefits of his dying love, to the dear partner of my earthly comforts and cares, as I humbly hope he hath done. And I am ready to exclaim, Oh! the grace of our Lord Jefus Chrift, is exceedingly abundant! This is to have an help meet indeed, and to obtain favor from the Lord; that my companion and fellow traveller through the wearifome pilgrimage of mortal life and labors, fhould become a fellow traveller to the Zion above; a fellow laborer in the vineyard of Chrift; a fellow helper of my fpiritual joys; and a fellow heir of the grace of eternal life! Oh, how rich the grace! How infinitely unworthy am I of fuch a mercy! How endearing is that conjugal union, which is founded upon the love of God, exercifed in Chriffin, and of the wickedness, pride and deceitfulness of her heart; fo that the rejoices with trembling, and relates her exercises, and the reafons of her hope, with meek. nefs and fear. But her heart and treasure appear to be in heaven. Her bible is precious to her; it is the man of her counfel. She is conftantly discovering new beauties in it, and progreffing in divine knowledge. Chrift appears lovely to her in the holiness and benevolence of his character; and the greater part of her time is divided between her bible and her closet. tian fellowship, and fweetened by communications of divine grace! What sweet counfel do we take together, not only in the things of the kingdom of God, but in all the cares of life and love! I receive her anew, from the creating hand of her divine Maker, a difciple of Jefusa child of God; as a fpecial gift from the father of mercies; the richest token of his love and favor. By this divine vifitation, I feel the moft abundant caufe for humiliation and abasement before God. With what a mixture of infinite mildnefs and energy am I reproved for all my vile ingratitude to God ;-for all my finful impatience under the dealings of his hand;-and all my luke-warmness and unfaithfulnefs in the fervice of my glorious Redeemer Break, Oh my wicked heart, bleed with Godly forrow, while the divine Jefus is addreffing me as he did backfliding Peter: "Simon, fon of Jonas, lovest thou me? feed my fheep and my lambs." As to her exercises in time past, ever fince the death of our little fon in -, her mind, at times, feems to have been very deeply impreffed with the things of eter nity. These seasons of ferious tho'tfulness, however, have been very fhort and fleeting, foon fucceeded by an entire ftupidity and inattention. This good, however, refulted; fhe obtained fpeculative conviction of certain important gofpel doctrines, which fhe at first oppofed, but finally embraced as true. Of late her religious attention hath been renewed; I believe that her anxiety for her fifter, on account of her dangerous ftate of health, was the mean in the hand of God, of turning her attention to her own fpiritual concerns. It is now more than a fortnight fince I discovered in her fatisfactory evidence to my own mind that the had experien How defirable is the real Chriftian! How fair, how lovely is the image of Chrift, drawn upon the heart of a finful worm! Such, 0 my brother, is the appearance of my dear wife. The light of eternal life, evidently feems to dawn upon her foul, and like the morning light to be progreffing. She appears, tho' far from being filled with high confidence, and the triumphs of affured hope, to enjoy that calm, rational, compo-ced a change of heart. This idea fed and ferene ftate of mind, which however I carefully... concealed arifes from a view of the fpiritual from her; fhe profeffed no hope beauty of divine truth, and a heart for herself, but was concerned that in a measure truly conformed to her anxiety and diftrefs were gone, the gofpel of Chrift, and to the fhe knew not how, nor why; and character, law and government of the thought herself to be finking the Moft High. She feems to into the most awful stupidity.have a deep fenfe of the evil of Immediately upon my return from I will not ask you to excufe this long letter. It is upon a fubject with which my heart is filled, and I could not well have faid lefs. I know that you and my dear fifter will rejoice with me, and join in thanksgiving to God. The humble fhall hear thereof and be glad. Blefs the Lord, O my foul! What fhall I render to the Lord for all his benefits! who generally had an appetite for nothing but bread, looking wifhfully at her mother, said, "I feel like the Roman Emperor (mean a fhort journey, fhe told me the had had special comfort in religion and religious duties, while I was gone; and I prayed and hoped and believed while abfent, that Iing the Grecian Father confined fhould find her in the ftate that I by the Roman Emperor) for had did. I a piece of mouldy bread it would be fweet to me." After she fpake, and while the mother was wiping the tear from her eye, a little dog, which had been lying before the fire, arose and went out at the door. In a few moments he returned with a fair, hard biscuit in his mouth, which he dropped at the feet of the child. The mother took it, and cutting out the parts marked with his teeth, furnished her child with that refreshment fhe appeared to want. The hand of Providence is not the lefs confpicuous, becaufe it employed an animal whofe inftincts are remarkable. The inftinct of the animal to take the food for himfelf was counteracted; the fupply was feafonable, and in a cafe which appears to come within the promise of the divine care and bleffing. W ANECDOTE. HEN the town of Newport was garrifoned by the British troops, Mrs. was a widow with three young children; one of whom, about fix years of age, was conftitutionally feeble, and often fick. The mother was under the neceffity of laboring for a fubfiftence; and was often interrupted and prevent ed from working by the illness of her child, who, at times, required her whole attention. This, with the uncertainty of fupplies in a time of war, and the occafional fcarcity of provifions, reduced her in fome inftances to great straits, in which she had an opportunity of observing, in a plain manner, the care of divine Providence. At a certain time, fhe had been confined with her child, and was deftitute of money. Flour was fearce in town, and at a high price; and for a day and a half fhe had used potatoes as a fubftitute, and then faw no profpect of obtaining a fupply. After the family had dined, the fick child, Note. The preceding anecdote was communicated to one of the Editors by a Clergymen of Newport, and may be depended upon as a fact. Religious Intelligence. MISSIONARIES. THE Rev. Calvin Ingalls lately returned from a miffion of four months to the north-eastern parts of Vermont. He is re-appointed a Miffionary, and is expected foon to enter on a miffion to the new fettlements at the forth end of lake George. The Miffionaries now in the fervice of the Miffionary Society of |