"eyes," at the agony at which they are put by thousands. They are most unfeelingly mangled, top and toe, in this manner-TATERS. Notwithstanding their extremities, in the most "mealy" mouthed manner, they exclaim, Po! Po! gentlemen and ladies! pray spare us a head, and you may bruise our toes in welcome, Still, you must confess that PoTATERS is not so sound and whole-some as POTATOES.

POINT allows that in some respects he is of very minute importance; but asserts that in others he is of the greatest consequence, as in argu ment for instance. He is, in zeal, the sharpest of all those who have entered into the present subject of amelioration. Point is determined to prick forward in the cause, till he shall be no longer blunted and turned away from his aim, and robbed in his very nature, in the measure you here perceive-PINT. Do not disappint your injured servant, indulgent

masters.

It

PHILADELPHIA-takes off his broad brim, and in the softest tones of brotherly love, implores the people of the United States to cease calling him by that harsh, horrid and unbrotherly name-FELLY-DEL-PHY. deprives him of his significance, and ancient and honorable lineage, as every Greek scholar well knows. "O" cries the city of "Brotherly Love," in plaintive, but kindly accents,-" do understand the meaning, behold the amiableness, hearken to the melody, and respect the sincerity of PHILADELPHIA.

66

POETRY.-What a halo of glory around this daughter of Genius, and descendant of Heaven! Behold how she is rent asunder by many a pitiful proser, and made to come short of due honor, POTRY. Apollo and the Muses know nothing about Potry.

QUENCH, that renowned extinguisher, whom all the world can't hold a candle to, is himself very much put out, and now and then, from this cause some people permit that crooked and hissing serpent S to get before him and coil round him, while he is in the hurry of duty, as you here see-SQUENCH; and sometimes they give him a horrid black i, thus -SQUINCH.

RATHER is universally known to be very nice in his preferences, and to be almost continually occupied in expressing them. Be it as universally known, then, that he is disgusted beyond all bearing at being called -RUTHER. O, how from time immemorial, has this choice character suffered from the interference of U, ye masters!

SAUCE-has a good many elements in him, and above all, a proper share of self-respect. He thinks he has too much spice and spirit to be considered such a flat as this indicates,―SASS.

SAUCER-Complains that he is served the same sass. Between them both, unless there is something done, there may be an overflow of sauciness to their masters.

SCARCE—is not a very frequent complainant of any thing, but he is now constrained to come forward and pour out more plentifully than common. He complains that certain Nippies, both male and female, and hosts of honest imitators, call him SCURCE, thinking it the very tip of gentility. He will detain you no longer, gentlemen and ladies, for he prefers to be always-SCARCE.

SUCH-does not complain of mistaken politeness, but of low and vulgar treatment like this-SICH.

SINCE has been crying out against the times, from the period of his birth into English. It is abominable that a character of such vast comprehension should be so belittled. He embraces all antiquity; goes back beyond Adam; yea, as far back into the unbeginningness as you could think in a million of years, and unimaginably further. And, O! how this hoary head is bowed down with sorrow at being called by two-thirds of the American people, SENCE. It is hoped that all the Future and the Past will be SINCE.

SPECTACLES, those twin literari, who are ever poring over the pages of learning, raise eyes of supplication. They say they can not look with due respect upon certain elderly people who pronounce them more unlettered than they really are, as you may perceive without looking with their interested eyes-SPDCTACLES. Venerable friends, pray c us, c us, and give our due in the matter of letters, and cry, SPECTACLES.

SIT-has been provoked to stand up in his own behalf, although he is one of sedentary habits, and is sometimes inclined to be idle. He declares he has too much pride and spirit to let that more active personage, SET, do all his work for him. "Set still," says the pedagogue to his pu pil, and parents to their children; "set down, sir," say a thousand gentlemen, and some famously learned ones, to their visitors. "The coat sets well," affirms the tailor, Now all this does not sit well on your complainant, and he sets up his Ebenezer that he would like a little more to do, especially in the employment of college-learned men and also of the teachers of the American youth. These distinguished characters ought to sit down, and calculated the immense effect of their example in matters of speech.

SAT makes grievous complaint that he is called Sor. He begs all the world to know that he has not redness of eyes, nor rumminess, nor brandiness of breath, nor flamingness of nose, that he should be degraded by the drunkard's lowest and last name-SOT. The court sat—not sot, the company sat down to dinner-not sor down; but "verbum SAT," if English may be allowed to speak in Latin.

SHUT.-This is a person of considerable importance; and, although your slave, is a most exclusive character, as is said of the ultra-fashionables. He is, indeed, the most decisive and unyielding exclusive in the world. He keeps the outs out, and the inns in, both in fashionable and political life. He is of most ancient, and of most exquisite pretensions, for he kept the doors of Noah's ark tight against the flood. Now this stiff old aristocrat is made to appear exceedingly flat, silly, and undignified, by being called by sundry persons-SHET. "Shet the door," says old Grumble, of a cold, windy day. "Shet your book," says the schoolmaster, when he is about to hear the urchins spell. "Shet up, you saucy blockhead, cries he, to young Insolence. This is too bad! It is abominable! a schoolmaster, the appointed keeper of orthographical and orthepical honor, letting fall the well-bred and lofty-minded SHUT, from his guardian lips, in the shape of Shet. O! the plebian! Faithless and anfit pedagogue!! He ought to be banished to Shet-land, where day by

day he should battle with Boreas, and teach ABC to the posterity of Triptolemus Yellowley's ass; and where by night his bed chamber should be unshut North, his bed the summit of a snow-drift, his sheets nothing but arctic mists, and his pillow the fragment of an iceberg! Away with ths traitor to Shet-land. O most merciful American masters and mistresses! Shut has no relief or safety from the miserableness of Shet, but in U.

TOLD-is a round sounding preterit, that is real music in a singing school-it will bear such a round-mouthed thunder of voice. He feels the dignity of his vocation, and asks not to be kept out of use by such bad grammar as this-TELLED. "He telled me so-and-so." Pshaw! that renowned talker and servant of old Peter Parley, TELL, declares that no one has ever derived existence from him by the name of Telled. Pray, masters aud mistresses, don't now forget what you have been-TOLD.

YES-that good natured personage, affirms that were he not of so complying a disposition, he would henceforth be no to every body who should call him Yis.. To this pleasant hint, ye kindly ones, you can not but say, yes, Yes!

Finally, hearken! There is a voice from the past. It is the complaint of departing "Yesterday." He cries aloud-Give ear, O, to-day, and hear, hear, O, to-morrow! Never, never more, call me Yisterday!

We have thus presented you, sovereign owners, with the complaints. and groans of a considerable number of our race. There are, doubtless, many others, who are also in a state of suffering, but who have uncommon fortitude, or too much modesty to come forward publicly, and make known their trials to our whole assembled community. Should the abuse of any such happen to be known to you at any time, we pray that the same consideration may be given to them as to the rest. You can assist us, in the first place, by example. Be careful not to cut short or in any other way mutilate our delicate frames. A little practice will enable you to avoid these errors, and set a good example to others. Then by precept you can assist others in correcting their evil habits, and theroby save the lives of many of

Your humble servants,

ENGLISH WORDS.

The Elephants of the East.

[From the Rifle and the Hound in Ceylon.]

A person who has never seen a wild elephant can form no idea of his real character either mentally or physically. The unwieldy and sleepy looking beast, who penned up in a cage, in a menagerie, receives a sixpence and turns with difficulty to deposit it in a box whose mental powers seem to be concentrated in the idea of receiving buns tossed into a gaping mouth by children's hands; this very beast may have come

from a warlike stock. His sire may have been the terror of a district, a pitiless highwayman, whose soul thirsted for blood; who lying in wait in some thick bush, would rush upon the unwary passer by, and know no pleasure greater than the act of crushing his victim to a shapeless mass beneath his feet.

I have heard people exclaim, upon hearing anecdotes of elephant hunting, "Poor things!" Poor things, indeed! I should like to see the very person who thus expresses his pity, going at his best pace with a savage elephant after him; give him a lawn to run upon if he likes, and see the elephant gain a foot in every yard of the chase, fire in his eye, fury in his headlong charge; and would not the flying gentleman, who lately exclaimed "Poor thing," be thankful to the lucky bullet that would save him from destruction? There are no animals more misunderstood than elephants; they are naturally savage, wary and revengeful, displaying as great courage in their wild state as any animal known. The fact of their great natural sagacity, renders them the more dangerous as foes. Even when they are tamed, there are many that are not safe for a stranger to approach, and they are then only kept in awe by the sharp-driving hook of the mohout.

Elephants are gregarious, and the average number of a herd is about eight, although they frequently form bodies of fifty and even eighty in one troop. Each herd consists of a very large proportion of females, and they are constantly met without a single bull in their number. I have seen some small herds formed exclusively of bulls, but this is very rare. The bull is generally much larger than the female, and is generally more savage. His habits frequently induce him to prefer solitude to a gregarious life. He then becomes doubly vicious. He seldom strays many miles from one locality, which he haunts for many years. He then becomes what is termed a "rogue." He waylays the natives, and in fact becomes a scourge to the neighborhood, attacking the inoffensive without the slightest provocation, carrying destruction into the native's paddy fields, and perfectly regardlesss of night fires or the usual precautions for scaring wild beasts.

The daring pluck of these rogues is only equalled by their extreme cunning. Endowed with that wonderful power of scent peculiar to ele phants, he travels in the day time down the wind; thus, nothing can follow upon his track without his knowledge. He winds his enemy as the cautious hunter advances noiselessly upon his track, and he stands with ears thrown forward, tail erect, trunk thrown high in the air, with his distended tip pointed to the spot from which he winds the silent but approaching danger. Perfectly motionless does he stand, like a statue in ebony, the very essence of attention, every nerve of sense and hearing stretched to its cracking point; not a muscle moves, not a sound of a rustling branch against his rough sides; he is a mute figure of wild and fierce eagerness. Meanwhile, the wary tracker stoops to the ground, and with a practised eye pierces the tangled brushwood in search of his colossal feet. Still further and further he silently creeps forward, when suddenly a crash bursts through the whole jungle; the moment has arrived for the ambushed charge, and the elephant is upon him.

LUDICROUS MISTAKES.-The geologist, if he be fairly in earnest, is far too tired after his day's work, to trouble himself about the aristocratic air of his quarters, and, besides, he generally manages to put his outer man into so uncleanly a condition, that a grand hotel would have some scruple in taking him in. Professor Sedgwick, after a hard morning's work, betook himself to a village inn for a lunch of bread and cheese. When he asked what he had to pay, he was told four-pence. He could not avoid remarking on the smalluess of the charge. "Ah, sir," said the landlady, “I should ask eightpence from any one else, but I only asked fourpence from you; for I see that you have known better days." At another time, a lady stopped by the roadside where he was working, made some inquiries and gave him a shilling, because his answers were so intelligent for his station. He met the same lady at dinner the next cay, to her great astonishment. A well-known geologist, long secretary to the Geological Society, was once taken up while at his vocation, and dragged off to the Bristol Asylum, for an escaped lunatic. On another occasion, tired, and with his pockets full of the day's treasures, he mounted a stage coach, and fell fast asleep. Waking at his journey's end, he was horrified to find his pockets as empty as when he set out. An old woman who sat beside him, feeling the pockets full of stones, took him for a madman, who had loaded himself more effectually to insure drowning; so, slyly picked out the fossils, one by one, from the drowsy philosopher, and tossed them on the roadside. Chambers' Journal.

THE FIGURE NINE.-The diference between any transposed number is always a multiple of 9. For instance, suppose an accountant or bookkeeper cannot prove or balance his accounts-there is a difference between his debts and credits, which he cannot account for, after careful and repeated addings. Let him then see if this difference can be divided by 9, without any remainder. If it can, he may be assured that his error most probably lies in his having somewhere transposed figures; that is to say, he has put down 92 for 29, 83 for 38, &c., with any other transposition. The difference of any such transposition is always a multiple of 9. The knowledge of this will at once direct attention to the true source of error, and save the labor of often adding up long columns of figures. The difference between 92 and 29 is 63, or 7 times 9; between $3 and 38 is 45, or 5 times 9; and so on between any transposed numbers.-Ex. paper.

A NOBLE BOY.-On Friday last, Daniel Bucklin, a lad sixteen years of age, saw a small boy drowning in Blackstone river at Valley Falls. He plunged into the river to rescue him, and by exerting himself to the utmost succeeded in doing so, but was so exhausted himself, that on gaining the bank of the river, he laid down and died in a few minutes. A large quantity of water was found in or around his heart.-Pawtucket Chronicle.

HON. B. F. WADE.-This gentleman, now a Senator of the United States, is a self-made man. In a late speech by Mr. Seward, of New