DURING the Revolutionary war, Gen. Lafayette, being in Baltimore was invited to a ball. He went as requested; but instead of joining in the amusement as might be expected of a young Frenchman of twenty, he addressed the ladies thus: "Ladies, you are very handsome; you dance very prettily; your ball is very fine-but my soldiers have no shirts." This appeal was irresistible. That ball ceased. The ladies went home and went to work, and the next day a large number of shirts were prepared, by the fairest hands of Baltimore.

SCENE IN COURT.-Judge.-Bring the prisoner into court.

Pete. Here I is, bound to blaze, as the spirits of turpentine said when it was all a-fire.

Judge. We will take a little of the fire out of you. How do you live? Pete. I ain't particular, as the oyster said when they axed him if he'd be fried or roasted.

Judge. I don't want to hear what the oyster said, or the turpentine either. What do you follow?

Pete. Anything that comes in the way, as the locomotive said when he run over the little nigger.

Judge. We do n't care anything about the locomotive. What's your business?

Pete. That's various, as the cat said when she stole the chicken off the table.

Judge. That comes nearer the line, I suppose.

Pete. Altogether in my line, as the rope said when it was choking the pirate.

Judge. If I hear any more absurd comparisons, I will give you twelve months.

Pete. I am done, as the beef-steak said to the cook.

Judge. Now, sir, your punishment shall depend upon the shortness and correctness of your answers. I suppose you live by going round the docks. Pete.-No, sir, I can't go round the docks without a boat, and I hain't got

none.

Judge.-Answer me; how do you get your bread?

Pete. Sometimes at the baker's and sometimes I eat tater.

Judge. No more of that stupid insolence. How do you support yourself? Pete. Sometimes on my legs, and sometimes on a chair.

Judge.--I order you now to answer this question correctly: How do you

do?

Pete. Pretty well, I thank you, Judge. How do you do?

Judge.--I shall have to commit you.

Pete. Well, you've committed yourself first, that's some consolation.

WHEN a noble life has prepared old age, it is not the decline that it recalls, but the first days of immortality.

He that preaches gratitude pleads the cause of God and man; for without it we can neither be sociable or religious.

SCHOLARS.-No one can be made a scholar; almost all persons can make themselves scholars. Labor saving machines do not apply to the mental world in the same sense as to the physical. It is not among vast libraries, surrounded by numerous teachers and professors, that prodigies of learning are produced. The person who in youth learns to exercise his own powers of mind, is sure to turn out a scholar, and a useful practical man, if he lives to the middle period of life. If he does not learn to think for himself, as well as to read books and receive facts from others, he will never become really learned. Who ever heard of a scholar made by lectures, or by teachers in any form? Has not every scholar who has yet appeared in the world become such by his own effortsby personal applications-by the patient and persevering use of the machinery within him? Who ever heard of a hereditary learning, or of ideas manufaetured like cotton cloth-by steam or water power? The history of American colleges for the last ten or twenty years fully proves that students who perform the most mental labor for themselves, and not those who hear the greatest number of professors, make the strongest and most valuable men. A large library is another facility in education, which by abuse is likely to do injury to students. A great reader, and especially a miscellaneous reader, is seldom a good scholar or a useful man. He may have a large mass of materials colleeted, but he has no power to use them, either for himself or his fellow men. His mind is a mere lumber yard, and himself an intellectual miser-a blank in the beautiful and harmonious creation around him.-Selected.

MECHANICS.—The following beautiful extract is from Bulwer's celebrated play, entitled the "Carpenters of Rouen." It is a high compliment to mechanics:

"What have they not done? Have they not opened the secret chambers of the mighty deep, and extracted its treasures, and made the raging billows their highways, on which they ride as on a tamed steed? Are not the elements of fire and water chained to the crank, and at the mechanic's bidding compelled to turn it? Have not mechanics opened the bowels of the earth and made its products contribute to our wants? The forked lightning is their plaything, and they ride triumphant on the wings of the mighty wind. To the wise they are flood gates of knowledge, and kings and queens are decorated by their handiwork. He who made the universe was a great mechanic.”

PROFICIENCY in knowledge is not to be estimated by the number of books which are read, but by the kind. "There is no worse robber than a bad book" is the doctrine of an Italian proverb, and according to which, the man who has a large collection of worthless books may be said to be in the midst of so many robbers. A man may become blind by reading, and yet be comparatively ignorant. It is only by reading thoroughly a few good books, aud weighing their statements of facts, and reflecting on the lessons of virtue they inculcate, that we become wiser and better.

THE rich fool is like a pig that is choked with its own fat-fit only for the shambles,-Chinese Saying.

RAVAGES OF WAR.-It was calculated a few weeks ago, that since the Rus sian war commenced, the number of deaths in the English army had been 15,000, in the French 30,000, in the Turkish 120,000, and in the Russion 250,000, making a total killed 415,000, being about 1,000 a day since the war commenced. Arrange these in a single file, and place them half a yard a art, and they would extend a distance of one hundred and seventeen miles. And while this vast array of immortal beings have been deprived of life and hurried into the eternal world, a very much larger number have been deprived of their natural protectors, and have been made widows and orphans.

CANON OF CRITICISM.-The Cardinal de Retz asked Menage, one day, to give him some idea of poetry, that he might be able to form a sort of judgment of the mass that was brought to him.

"Sir," said Menage, "this is a matter that would occupy more time than you could spare; but I'll tell you what you may do. Whenever they read any of their poems to you, say, 'That's very bad'--you'll seldom be wrong.

THE TRUTH.-God is the author of truth, the devil is the father of lies. If the telling of a truth should endanger thy life, the Author of truth will protect thee from danger, or reward thee for thy danger. If the telling of a lie will se cure thy life, the father of lies will beguile thee of thy gains, or traduce the security. Better by losing of a life to save it, than by saving of a life to lose it. However, better thou perish than the truth.—Quarles.

A STUPID SCHOOLMASTER.-A pedagogue relates a laughable story of one of his scholars, a son of the Emeral Isle. He told him to sell hostility.

66

'H-o-s-e, horse," commence Pat.

"Not horse-tility," said the teacher, "but hos-tility."

"Sure!" replied Pat, "an' didn't ye tell me,

the other day, not to say hoss? Be jabers, it's wan thing wid ye wan day, and another the next."

WE find, on examination, that in the good and evil of human nature, the good so far abounds that we are not in the habit of noticing it, while the evil strikes us precisely on account of its being the exception. If nothing is perfect, nothing is so bad as to be without its compensation or its remedy. What spiritual riches are there in the midst of the evils of society! how much does the moral world redeem the material!

A man wrote Dr. Francis the following note:

"Dear Doctor-I caught cold yesterday, and have got a little horse. Please write what I shall do for them."

The following was the answer.

"Dear P.-For the cold take a pound of butter candy. For the little horse buy a saddle and bridle, and ride him out the first time we have fair weather."

SCHOLARS.-No one can be made a scholar; almost all persons can make themselves scholars. Labor saving machines do not apply to the mental world in the same sense as to the physical. It is not among vast libraries, surrounded by numerous teachers and professors, that prodigies of learning are produced. The person who in youth learns to exercise his own powers of mind, is sure to turn out a scholar, and a useful practical man, if he lives to the middle period of life. If he does not learn to think for himself, as well as to read books and receive facts from others, he will never become really learned. Who ever heard of a scholar made by lectures, or by teachers in any form? Has not every scholar who has yet appeared in the world become such by his own efforts by personal applications-by the patient and persevering use of the machinery within him? Who ever heard of a hereditary learning, or of ideas manufaetured like cotton cloth-by steam or water power? The history of American colleges for the last ten or twenty years fully proves that students who perform the most mental labor for themselves, and not those who hear the greatest number of professors, make the strongest and most valuable men. A large library is another facility in education, which by abuse is likely to do injury to students. A great reader, and especially a miscellaneous reader, is seldom a good scholar or a useful man. He may have a large mass of materials collected, but he has no power to use them, either for himself or his fellow men. His mind is a mere lumber yard, and himself an intellectual miser-a blank in the beautiful and harmonious creation around him.-Selected.

MECHANICS. The following beautiful extract is from Bulwer's celebrated play, entitled the "Carpenters of Rouen." It is a high compliment to mechanics:

"What have they not done? Have they not opened the secret chambers of the mighty deep, and extracted its treasures, and made the raging billows their highways, on which they ride as on a tamed steed? Are not the elements of fire and water chained to the crank, and at the mechanic's bidding compelled to turn it? Have not mechanics opened the bowels of the earth, and made its products contribute to our wants? The forked lightning is their plaything, and they ride triumphant on the wings of the mighty wind. To the wise they are flood gates of knowledge, and kings and queens are decorated by their handiwork. He who made the universe was a great mechanic.”

PROFICIENCY in knowledge is not to be estimated by the number of books which are read, but by the kind. "There is no worse robber than a bad book" is the doctrine of an Italian proverb, and according to which, the man who has a large collection of worthless books may be said to be in the midst of so many robbers. A man may become blind by reading, and yet be comparatively ignorant. It is only by reading thoroughly a few good books, aud weighing their statements of facts, and reflecting on the lessons of virtue they inculcate, that we become wiser and better.

THE rich fool is like a pig that is choked with its own fat-fit only for the shambles,-Chinese Saying.

RAVAGES OF WAR.-It was calculated a few weeks ago, that since the Rus sian war commenced, the number of deaths in the English army had been 15,000, in the French 30,000, in the Turkish 120,000, and in the Russion 250,000, making a total killed 415,000, being about 1,000 a day since the war com menced. Arrange these in a single file, and place them half a yard a art, and they would extend a distance of one hundred and seventeen miles. And while this vast array of immortal beings have been deprived of life and hurried into the eternal world, a very much larger number have been deprived of their natural protectors, and have been made widows and orphans.

CANON OF CRITICISM.-The Cardinal de Retz asked Menage, one day, to give him some idea of poetry, that he might be able to form a sort of judgment of the mass that was brought to him.

"Sir," said Menage, "this is a matter that would occupy more time than you could spare; but I'll tell you what you may do. Whenever they read any of their poems to you, say, 'That's very bad' you'll seldom be wrong.

THE TRUTH.-God is the author of truth, the devil is the father of lies. If the telling of a truth should endanger thy life, the Author of truth will protect thee from danger, or reward thee for thy danger. If the telling of a lie will se cure thy life, the father of lies will beguile thee of thy gains, or traduce the security. Better by losing of a life to save it, than by saving of a life to lose it. However, better thou perish than the truth.- Quarles.

A STUPID SCHOOLMASTER.-A pedagogue relates a laughable story of one of his scholars, a son of the Emeral Isle. He told him to sell hostility. "H-o-s-e, horse," commence Pat.

"Not horse-tility," said the teacher, "but hos-tility."

66

"Sure!" replied Pat, " an' didn't ye tell me, the other day, not to say hoss? Be jabers, it's wan thing wid ye wan day, and another the next."

WE find, on examination, that in the gool and evil of human nature, the good so far abounds that we are not in the habit of noticing it, while the evil strikes us precisely on account of its being the exception. If nothing is perfect, nothing is so bad as to be without its compensation or its remedy. What spiritual riches are there in the midst of the evils of society! how much does the moral world redeem the material!

A man wrote Dr. Francis the following note:

"Dear Doctor-I caught cold yesterday, and have got a little horse. Please write what I shall do for them."

The following was the answer.

"Dear P.-For the cold take a pound of butter candy. For the little horse buy a saddle and bridle, and ride him out the first time we have fair weather."