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to posterity, as well as to the fociety at the Trumpet, of which I am a member, did not I in fome part of my writings give an account of the perfons among whom I have passed almost a fixth part of my time for the last forty years. Our club confifted originally of fifteen; but partly by the severity of the law in arbitrary times, and partly by the natural effects of old age, we are at present reduced to a third part of that number; in which, however, we have this confolation, that the best company is faid to confift of five perfons. I must confefs, befides the aforementioned benefit, which I meet with in the conversation of this select fociety, I am not the less pleased with the company, in that I find myself the greatest wit among them, and am heard as their oracle in all points of learning and difficulty.

Sir Jeoffery Notch, who is the oldest of the club, has been in poffeffion of the right hand chair time out of mind, and is the only man among us that has the liberty of stirring the fire. This our foreman is a gentleman of an ancient family, that came to a great estate some years before he had discretion, and run it out in hounds, horfes, and cock-fighting; for which reafon he looks upon himself as an honest worthy gentleman, who has had misfortunes in the world, and calls every thriving man a pitiful upstart.

Major Matchlock is the next fenior, who ferved in the last civil wars, and has all the battles by heart. He does not think any action in Europe worth talking of fince the fight of Marston Moor; and every night tells us of his having been knocked off his horfe at the rifing of the London apprentices, for which he is in great esteem among us.

Honest old Dick Reptile is the third of our fociety. He is a good-natured indolent man, who speaks little himself, but laughs at our jokes, and brings his young nephew along with him, a youth of eighteen years old, to fhew him good company, and give him a taste of the world. This young fellow fits generally filent; but whenever he opens his mouth, or laughs at anything that passes, he is conftantly told by his uncle, after a jocular manner, " Ay, ay, Jack, you young men think us fools; but we old men know you are.”

The greatest wit of our company, next to myself, is a bencher of the neighbouring inn, who in his youth frequented the ordinaries about Charing Crofs, and pretends to have been intimate with Jack Ogle. He has about ten diftiches of Hudibras without book, and never leaves the club till he has applied them all. If any modern wit be mentioned, or any town frolick spoken of, he shakes his head at the dulness of the pre fent age, and tells us a ftory of Jack Ogle.

For my own part, I am esteemed among them, because they fee I am something refpected by others; though at the fame time I understand by their behaviour that I am confidered by them as a man of a great deal of learning, but no knowledge of the world; infomuch that the major fometimes, in the height of his military pride, calls me the philofopher and Sir Jeoffery, no longer ago than last night, upon a dispute what day of the month it was then in Holland, pulled his pipe out of his mouth, and cried, "What does the scholar fay to it?"

Our club meets precifely at fix o'clock in the evening; but I did not come last night till half an hour after seven, by which means I escaped the battle of Nafeby, which the major usually begins at about three-quarters after fix: I found alfo that my good friend the bencher had already spent three of his distiches, and only waiting an opportunity to hear a fermon spoken of, that he might introduce the couplet where a flick rhymes to ecclefiaftick. At my entrance into the room, they were naming a red petticoat and a cloak, by which I found that the bencher had been diverting them with a story of Jack Ogle.

I had no fooner taken my feat, but Sir Jeoffery, to show his good-will towards me, gave me a pipe of his own tobacco, and stirred up the fire. I look upon it as a point of morality, to be obliged by thofe, who endeavour to oblige me; and therefore in requital for his kindness, and to fet the converfation a-going, I took the best occafion I could to put him upon telling us the ftory of old Gantlett, which he always does with very particular concern. He traced up his descent on both fides for feveral generations, defcribing his diet and manner of life, with his feveral battles, and particularly that

in which he fell. This Gantlett was a game-cock, upon whose head the knight, in his youth, had won five hundred pounds, and loft two thousand. This naturally fet the major upon the account of Edge Hill fight, and ended in a duel of Jack Ogle's.

Old Reptile was extremely attentive to all that was faid, though it was the fame he had heard every night for these twenty years, and, upon all occafions, winked upon his nephew to mind what passed.

This may fuffice to give the world a taste of our innocent converfation, which we fpun out till about ten of the clock, when my maid came with a lantern to light me home. I could not but reflect with myself, as I was going out, upon the talkative humour of old men, and the little figure, which that part of life makes in one, who cannot employ his natural propensity in discourse, which would make him venerable. I muft own, it makes me very melancholy in company, when I hear a young man begin a story; and have often obferved, that one of a quarter of an hour long in a man of five-andtwenty, gathers circumstances every time he tells it, till it grows into a long Canterbury Tale of two hours by that time he is threefcore.

The only way of avoiding fuch a trifling and frivolous old age, is, to lay up in our way to it fuch ftores of knowledge and obfervation, as may make us useful and agreeable in our declining years. The mind of man in a long life will become a magazine of wisdom or folly, and will confequently difcharge itself in fomething impertinent or improving.

which reason, as there is nothing more ridiculous, than an old trifling story-teller, fo there is nothing more venerable, than one who has turned his experience to the entertainment and advantage of mankind.

In short, we who are in the last stage of life, and are apt to indulge ourselves in talk, ought to confider if what we speak be worth being heard, and endeavour to make our difcourfe like that of Neftor, which Homer compares to the flowing of honey for its sweetness.

I am afraid I shall be thought guilty of this excess I am

fpeaking of, when I cannot conclude without obferving, that Milton certainly thought of this paffage in Homer, when, in his description of an eloquent fpirit, he fays, "His tongue dropped manna.'

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Dick Reptile and I fat this evening later than the rest of the club and as fome men are better company when only with one friend, others when there is a larger number, I found Dick to be of the former kind. He was bewailing to me in very just terms, the offences which he frequently met with in the abuse of speech: fome use ten times more words than they need, fome put in words quite foreign to their purpose, and others adorn their difcourfes with oaths and blafphemies by way of tropes and figures. What my good friend started, dwelt upon me after I came home this evening, and led me into an inquiry with myself, whence should arise fuch strange excrefcences in difcourfe? Whereas it must be

obvious to all reasonable beings, that the fooner a man speaks his mind, the more complaifant he is to the man with whom he talks but upon mature deliberation, I am come to this refolution, that for one man who fpeaks to be understood, there are ten who talk only to be admired.

The ancient Greeks had little independent fyllables called expletives, which they brought into their difcourfes both in verfe and profe, for no other purpose but for the better grace and found of their fentences and periods. I know no example but this which can authorize the use of more words than are neceffary. But whether it be from this freedom. taken by that wife nation, or however it arises, Dick Reptile hit upon a very just and common cause of offence in the generality of the people of all orders. We have one here in our lane who speaks nothing without quoting an authority; for it is always with him, fo and fo, as the man faid. He afked me this morning, how I did? as the man said, and hoped I would come now and then to see him, as the man faid. I am acquainted with another, who never delivers himself upon any subject, but he cries, he only speaks his poor judgment; this is his humble opinion; as for his part, if he might presume to offer any thing on that fubject. But of all

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the perfons who add elegances and fuperfluities to their dif courses, those who deferve the foremost rank are the swearers : and the lump of these may, I think, be very aptly divided into the common distinction of high and low. Dulness and barrenness of thought is the original of it in both these fects, and they differ only in conftitution: the low is generally a phlegmatick, and the high a cholerick coxcomb. The man of phlegm is fenfible of the emptiness of his discourse, and will tell you, that I'fackins, fuch a thing is true: or if you warm him a little, he may run into paffion, and cry, odfbodikins, you do not fay right. But the high affects a fublimity in dulnefs, and invokes h-1 and d-n at the breaking of a glafs or the flowness of a drawer.

I was the other day trudging along Fleet Street on foot, and an old army friend came up with me. We were both going towards Westminster, and finding the streets were so crowded that we could not keep together, we refolved to club for a coach. This gentleman I knew to be the first of the Order of the Cholerick. I must confefs (were there no crime in it) nothing could be more diverting than the impertinence of the high juror: for whether there is remedy or not against what offends him, still he is to fhew he is offended, and he must fure not omit to be magnificently paffionate, by falling on all things in his way. We were stopped by a train of coaches at Temple Bar. "What the devil!" fays my companion, "cannot you drive on, coachman? D-n you all, for a fet of, you will ftop here to be paid by the hour! There is not fuch a set of confounded dogs as the coachmen, unhanged! But these rafcally cits- -'ounds, why should not there be a tax to make thefe dogs widen their gates? Oh! but the h-l-hounds move at laft. Ay," faid I, “I knew you would make 'em whip on, if once they heard you "No," fays he, "but would it not fret a man to the devil to pay for being carried flower than he can walk? Look'ee, there is for ever a stop at this hole by St. Clement's church. Blood, you dog. Hark'ee, Sirrah! -Why, and be d-n'd to you, do not you drive over that fellow ?-Thunder, furies, and d—n! I'll cut your ears off, you fellow before

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