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and makes the ladies' faces the principal objects of sight. Every beautiful person shines out in all the excellence with which nature has adorned her : gaudy ribbons and glaring colours being now out of use, the sex has no opportunity given them to disfigure themselves, which they seldom fail to do whenever it 'lies in their power. When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can. Whether this happens because they stay so long, and attend their work fo diligently, that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same women they appeared when they began to dress. What jewel can the charming Cleora place in her ears, that can please her beholders fo much as her eyes? The cluster of diamonds upon the breast can add no beauty to the fair chest of ivory which supports it. It may indeed tempt a man to steal a woman, but never to love her. Let Thalestris change herself into a motley, parti-coloured animal : the pearl necklace, the flowered stomacher, the artificial nosegay, and shaded furbelow, may be of use to attract the eye of the beholder, and turn it from the imperfections of her features and shape. But if ladies will take my word for it (and as they dress to please men they ought to consult our fancy rather than their own in this particular) I can assure them, there is nothing touches our imagination so much as a beautiful woman in a plain dress. There might be more agreeable ornaments found in our own manufacture, than any that rise out of the looms of Persia.

This, I know, is a very harsh doctrine to woman kind, who are carried away with everything that is showy, and with what delights the eye, more than any one species of living creatures whatsoever. Were the minds of the sex laid open, we should find the chief idea in one to be a tippet, in another a muff, in a third a fan, and in a fourth a fardingal. The memory of an old visiting lady is so filled up with gloves, silks, and ribbons, that I can look upon it as nothing else but a toy-shop. A matron of my acquaintance complaining of her daughter's

vanity, was observing, that she had all of a sudden held up her head higher than ordinary, and taken an air that shewed a secret satisfaction in herself, mixed with a scorn of others. “I did not know,” says my friend, "what to make of the carriage of this fantastical girl, till I was informed by her eldest sister that she had a pair of striped garters on.

This odd turn of mind often makes the sex unhappy, and disposes them to be struck with every thing that makes a shew, however trifling and fuperficial

Many a lady has fetched a sigh at the toss of a wig, and been ruined by the tapping of a snuff-box. It is impossible to describe all the execution that was done by the shoulder-knot while that fashion prevailed, or to reckon up all the virgins that have fallen a sacrifice to a pair of fringed gloves. A sincere heart has not made half so many conquests as an open waistcoat; and I should be glad to see an able head make so good a figure in a woman's company as a pair of red heels. A Grecian hero, when he was asked whether he could play upon the lute, thought he had made a very good reply when he answered, “No; but I can make a great city of a little one.” Notwithstanding his boasted wisdom, I appeal to the heart of

any toast in town, whether she would not think the lutenist preferable to the statesman. I do not speak this out of any aversion that I have to the sex, on the contrary, I have always had a tenderness for them; but I must confess it troubles me very much to see the generality of them place their affections on improper objects, and give up all the pleafures of life for gewgaws and trifles.

Mrs. Margery Bickerstaff, my great aunt, had a thousand pounds to her portion, which our family was desirous of keeping among themselves, and therefore used all possible means to turn off her thoughts from marriage. The method they took was, in any time of danger to throw a new gown or petticoat in her way. When she was about twenty-five years of age,

she fell in love with a man of an agreeable temper and equal fortune, and would certainly have married him had not my grandfather, Sir Jacob, dressed her up in a suit of flowered fatin, upon which the set fo immoderate a value upon herself, that the lover was contemned and discarded. In the fortieth year of her age, she was again smitten, but very luckily transferred her passion to a tippet, which was presented to her by another relation who was in the plot. This, with a white farsenet hood, kept her safe in the family till fifty. About sixty, which generally produces a kind of latter spring in amorous constitutions, my aunt Margery had again a colt's tooth in her head, and would certainly have eloped from the Mansion House, had not her brother Simon, who was a wise man and a scholar, advised to dress her in cherry-coloured ribbons, which was the only expedient that could have been found out by the wit of man to preserve the thousand pounds in our family, part of which I enjoy at this time.

This discourse puts me in mind of an humourist mentioned by Horace, called Eutrapelus, who, when he designed to do a man a mischief, made him a present of a gay suit; and brings to my memory another passage of the same author, when he describes the most ornamental dress that a woman can appear in with two words, fimplex munditiis, which I have quoted for the benefit of my female readers.

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MR. BICKERSTAFF PRONOUNCES ALL WORTHLESS MEN DEAD

IN REASON.

Is mihi demum vivere & frui anima videtur, qui aliquo negotio

intentus, præclari facinoris aut artis bonæ famam quærit. Sal. In my opinion, that man may be truly said to live, and enjoy his soul

, "who, giving his mind to business, pursues a reputation by fome famous action or honest art.

T

T has cost me very much care and thought to marshal

and fix the people under their proper denominations, and to range them according to their respective characters. These my endeavours have been received

with unexpected success in one kind, but neglected in another; for though I have many readers, I have but few converts. This must certainly proceed from a false opinion, that what I write is designed rather to amuse and entertain, than convince and instruct. I entered upon my essays with a declaration that I should consider mankind in quite another manner than they had hitherto been represented to the ordinary world, and asserted that none but a useful life should be with

life at all. But left this octrine should have made this small progress towards the conviction of mankind, because it may appear to the unlearned light and whimsical, I must take leave to unfold the wisdom and antiquity of my first proposition in these my essays, to wit, “ That every worthless man is a

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dead man.” This notion is as old as Pythagoras, in whose school it was a point of discipline, that if among the Ax851x03" or probationers, there were any who grew weary of studying to be useful, and returned to an idle life, the rest were to regard them as dead; and upon their departing to perform their obsequies, and raise them tombs with inscriptions to warn others of the like mortality, and quicken them to resolutions of refining their fouls above that wretched state. It is upon a like supposition, that young ladies at this very time, in Roman Catholic countries, are received into fome nunneries with their coffins, and with the pomp of a formal funeral, to signify, “ That henceforth they are to be of no further use, and confequently dead." Nor was Pythagoras himself the first author of this fymbol, with whom, and with the Hebrews, it was generally received. Much more might be offered in illustration of this doctrine from sacred authority, which I recommend to my readers own reflection, who will easily recollect from places which I do not think fit to quote here, the forcible manner of applying the words, “dead and living,” to men as they are good or bad.

I have therefore composed the following scheme of existence for the benefit both of the living and the dead, though chiefly for the latter, whom I must desire to read it with all possible attention. In the number of the dead, I comprehend all perfons, of what title or dignity foever, who bestow most of their time in eating and drinking, to support that imaginary existence of theirs, which they call life; or in dressing and adorning those shadows and apparitions which are looked upon by the vulgar, as real men and women. In short, whoever resides in the world without having any business in it, and passes away an age without ever thinking on the errand for which he was sent hither, is to me a dead man to all intents and purposes, and I desire that he may be fo reputed. The living are only those that are some way or other laudably employed in the improvement of their own minds, or for the advantage of others; and even amongst these I shall only reckon into their lives that part of their time which has been spent in the manner above-mentioned. By these means, I am afraid, we shall find the longest lives not to consist of many months, and the greatest part of the

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