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there- Come hither, you dog you, and let me wring your neck round your shoulders.” We had a repetition of the fame eloquence at the cockpit and the turning into Palace Yard.

This gave me a perfect image of the insignificancy of the creatures who practise this enormity; and made me conclude, that it is ever want of sense makes a man guilty in this kind. It was excellently well said, that this folly had no temptation to excuse it, no man being born of a swearing constitution. In a word, a few rumbling words and consonants clapped together without any sense, will make an accomplished swearer : and it is needless to dwell long upon this blustering impertinence, which is already banished out of the society of well-bred men, and can be useful only to bullies and ill-tragick writers, who would have found and noise pass for courage and sense ....

There are two species of men, notwithstanding anything that has been here said, whom I would exempt .... The first are those buffoons that have a talent of mimicking the speech and behaviour of other persons, and turning all their patrons, friends, and acquaintance into ridicule. I look upon your pantomime as a legion in a man, or at least to be like Virgil's monster, “ with a hundred mouths and as many tongues,

Linguæ centum sunt, oraque centum ; and, therefore, would give him as much time to talk in, as would be allowed to the whole body of persons he represents, were they actually in the company which they divert by proxy, -provided, however, that the said pantomime do not, upon any pretence whatsoever, utter anything in his own particular opinion, language, or character.

I would likewise, in the second place, grant an exemption .. to any person who treats the company, and, by that means, may be supposed to pay for his audience. A guest cannot take it ill if he be not allowed to talk in his turn by a person who puts his mouth to a better employment, and stops it with good beef and mutton. In this case the guest is very agreeably silenced, and seems to hold his tongue under that kind of bribery which the ancients called bos in lingua.

If I can once extirpate the race of solid and substantial hum

drums, I hope by my wholesome and repeated advices, quickly to reduce the insignificant tittle-tattles and matter-of-fact-men, that abound in every quarter of this great city.

Epictetus in his little fystem of morality, prescribes the following rule, with that beautiful simplicity, which shines through all his precepts : “Beware that thou never tell thy dreams in company; for, notwithstanding thou mayest take a pleafure in telling thy dreams, the company will take no pleasure in hearing them.”

This rule is conformable to a maxim which I have laid down in a late paper, and must always inculcate into those of my readers who find in themselves an inclination to be


talkative and impertinent, “that they should not speak to please themselves, but those that hear them.”

It has been observed by witty essay writers, that the deepest 'Waters are always the most silent; that empty vessels make the greatest found, and tinkling cymbals the worst music. The Marquis of Halifax, in his admirable advice to a daughter, tells her " that good sense has always something sullen in it;" but as fullenness does not imply filence, but an ill-natured silence, I wish his lordship had given a softer name to it. Since I am engaged unawares in quotations, I must not omit the fatire which Horace has written against this impertinent talkative companion, and which I think is fuller of humour than any other fatire he has written. This great author, who had the nicest taste of conversation, and was himself a most agreeable companion, had so strong an antipathy to a great talker, that he was afraid some time or other it would be mortal to him, as he has very humourously described it in his conversation with an impertinent fellow, who had like to have been the death of

him :

Interpellandi locus hic erat! Eft tibi mater,
Cognati, quies te salvo eft opus ? Haud mihi quisquam :
Omnes composui. Felices ! nunc ego resto;
Confice; namque inftat fatum mihi triste, Sabella
Quod puero cecinit divina motâ anus urnua.
Hunc neque dira venena, nec hofticus auferit ensis,


Nec laterum dolor, aut tusis, nec tarda podagra.
Garrulus hunc quando confumet cumque; loquaces
Si fapiat, vitet, simul atque adoleverit ætas.

HOR. I. Sat. ix. 25.

Have you no mother, Fifter, friends,
Wholé welfare on your health depends ?
Not one ; I saw them all by turns
Securely settled in their urns.
Thrice happy they, secure from pain !
And I thy victim now remain;
Despatch me; for my good nurse
Early presaged this heavy curse.
She conned it by the sieve and shears
And now it falls upon my ears—
“No poifon fell with ruin stor'd,
Nor horrid point of hostile sword,
Nor pleurisy, nor afthma cough,
Nor cripple gout shall cut him off;
A noisy tongue and battling breath
Shall teaze and talk child to death,
Let him avoid, as he would hanging,
Your folks long-winded in haranging."-FRANCIS.


From the Trumpet, in Sheer Lane,

Ordered, That for the improvement of the pleasures of fociety, a member of this house, one of the most wakeful of the foporifick assembly beyond Smithfield Bars, and one of the order of story-tellers in Holborn, may meet and exchange stale matter, and report the same to their principals,

N.B.—No man is to tell above one story in the same evening, but has liberty to tell the same the night following.

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Dies, ni fallor, adeft, quem femper, acerbum,
Semper honoratum, fic Düi voluiftis, habebo.


The day's at hand, that mournful day shall be
(So heav'n would have it) honour'd fill by me.

MHERE are those

among mankind who can enjoy on relish of their being, except the world is made acquainted with all that relates to them, and think everything lost that passes unobserved; but others

find a solid delight in stealing by the crowd, and modelling their life after such a manner as is as much above the approbation as the practice of the vulgar. Life being too short to give instances great enough of true friendship or goodwill, some fages have though it pious to preserve a certain reverence for the manes of their deceased friends, and have withdrawn themselves from the rest of the world at certain seasons, to commemorate in their own thoughts such of their acquaintance who have gone before them out of this life. And, indeed, when we are advanced in years, there is not a more pleasing entertainment than to recollect, in a gloomy moment, the many we have parted with that have been dear and agreeable to us, and to cast a melancholy thought or two after those with whom, perhaps, we have indulged ourselves in whole nights of mirth and jollity. With such inclinations in my heart, I went to my closet yesterday in the evening, and resolved to be sorrowful; upon which occasion I could not but look with disdain upon myself, that though all the reasons which I had to lament, the loss of many


friends are now as forcible as at the moment of their departure, yet did not my heart swell with the same forrow which I felt at that time; but I could, without tears, reflect upon many pleasing adventures I have had with some who have long been blended with common earth. Though it is by the benefit of nature that length of time thus blots out the violence of afflictions, yet with tempers too much given to pleasure, it is almost necessary to revive the old places of grief in our memory, and ponder step by step on past life, to lead the mind into that fobriety of thought which poises the heart, and makes it beat with due time, without being quickened with desire or retarded with despair from its proper and equal motion. When we wind up a clock that is out of order, to make it go well for the future, we do not immediately set the hand to the present instant, but we make it strike the round of all its hours before it can recover the regularity of its time. Such, thought I, shall be my method this evening; and since it is that day of the year which I dedicate to the memory of such in another life as I much delighted in when living, an hour or two shall be sacred to forrow and their memory, while I run over all the melancholy circumstances of this kind which have occurred to me in my whole life.

The first sense of sorrow I ever knew was upon the death of my father, at which time I was not quite five years of age; but was rather amazed at what all the house meant than pofsessed with a real understanding why nobody was willing to play with me. I remember I went into the room where his body lay, and my mother fat weeping alone by it. battledore in my hand, and fell a beating the coffin, and calling papa ! for, I know not how, I had some slight idea that he was locked up there. My mother caught me in her arms,

I had my

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