CHAPTER XLIV. MR. BICKERSTAFF LEARNS FENCING, AND HIS REASONS FOR S foon as my midnight ftudies are finished, I take but a fhort repofe, and am again up at an exercife of another kind, that is to fay, my fencing. Thus my life paffes away in a restless pursuit of fame, and a preparation to defend myself against fuch as attack it. This anxiety in the point of reputation, is the peculiar diftrefs of fine fpirits, and makes them liable to a thousand inquietudes, from which men of groffer understandings are exempt, fo that nothing is more common than to fee one part of mankind live at perfect eafe under fuch circumstances as would make another part of them entirely miferable. I had feveral hints and advertisements from unknown hands, that fome, who are enemies to my labours, defign to demandthe fashionable way of fatisfaction for the disturbance my lucubrations have given them. I confefs, as things now ftand, I don't know how to deny fuch inviters, and am preparing myfelf accordingly. I have bought pumps and foils, and am every morning practifing in my chamber. My neighbour, the dancing-mafter, has demanded of me why I take this liberty, fince I would not allow it him? But I anfwered, his was an act of an indifferent nature, and mine of neceffity. My late treatises against duels have fo far difobliged the fraternity of the noble science of defence, that I can get none of them to fhew me fo much as one pass. I am therefore obliged to learn R by book, and have accordingly several volumes, wherein all the postures are exactly delineated. I must confess I am shy of letting people fee me at this exercise, because of my flannel waistcoat and my fpectacles, which I am forced to fix on, the better to obferve the posture of the enemy. I have upon my chamber walls, drawn at full length, the figures of all forts of men, from eight feet to three feet two inches. Within this height, I take it, that all the fighting men of Great Britain are comprehended. But as I push I make allowances for my being of a lank and spare body, and have chalked out in every figure my own dimenfions, for I fcorn to rob any man of his life by taking advantage of his breadth; therefore I prefs purely in a line down from his nofe, and take no more of him to affault than he has of me; for, to speak impartially, if a lean fellow wounds a fat one in any part to the right or left, whether it be in carte or in tierce, beyond the dimenfions of the lean fellows own breadth, I take it to be murder, and fuch a murder as is below a gentleman to commit. As I am spare, I am also very tall, and behave myself with relation to that advantage with the fame punctilio; and I am ready to stoop or stand according to the stature of my adversary. I must confess, I have had great fuccefs this morning, and have hit every figure round the room in a mortal part, without receiving the least hurt, except a little scratch by falling on my face, in pushing at one at the lower end of my chamber; but I recovered fo quick and jumped fo nimbly into my guard, that if he had been alive, he could not have hurt me. It is confeffed I have written against duels with fome warmth, but in all my discourses I have not ever said that I knew how a gentleman could avoid a duel if he were provoked to it; and fince the custom is now become a law, I know nothing but the legislative power, with new animadverfions upon it, can put us in a capacity of denying challenges, though we were afterwards hanged for it. But no more of this at present. As things ftand, I fhall put up no more affronts; and I shall be fo far from taking ill words, that I will not take ill looks. I therefore warn all hot young fellows not to look hereafter more terrible than their neighbours, for if they ftare at me with their hats cocked higher than other people, I won't bear it. Nay, I give warning to all people in general to look kindly at me, for I'll bear no frowns, even from ladies; and if any woman pretends to look fcornfully at me, I fhall demand fatisfaction of the next of kin of the mafculine gender. I have long been against my inclination employed in satire, and that in profecution of fuch perfons who are below the dignity of the true spirit of it, such who, I fear, are not to be reclaimed by making them only ridiculous. The sharpers shall therefore have a month's time to themselves free from the obfervation of this paper; but I must not make a truce without letting them know, that at the fame time I am preparing for a more vigorous war; for a friend of mine has promised me, he will employ his time in compiling fuch a tract before the feffion of the enfuing parliament, as fhall lay gaming home to the bofoms of all who love their country or their families; and he doubts not but it will create an act, that shall make these rogues as fcandalous, as those less mischievous ones on the high road. I have received private intimations to take care of my walks, and remember there are fuch things as ftabs and blows; but as there never was anything in this design which ought to dif please a man of honour, or which was not defigned to offend the rafcals, I fhall give myself very little concern for finding what I expected, that they would be highly provoked at these lucubrations. But, though I utterly defpife the pack, I must confess I am at a stand at the receipt of the following letter, which feems to be written by a man of fense and worth, who has mistaken fome paffage that I am fure was not levelled at him. This gentleman's complaints give me compunction, when I neglect the threats of the rafcals. I can't be in jeft with the` rogues any longer, fince they pretend to threaten. I don't know whether I fhall allow them the favour of transportation : "September 13. "MR. BICKERSTAFF, "Obferving you are not content with lafhing the many vices of the age without illuftrating each with particular characters, it's thought nothing would more contribute to the impreffion you defign by fuch, than always having regard to truth. In your Tatler' of this day, I obferve you allow, that nothing is fo tender as a lady's reputation; that a ftain once got in their fame, is hardly ever to be washed out. This you grant even when you give yourself leave to trifle. If fo, what caution is neceffary in handling the reputation of a man, whose well-being in this life perhaps entirely depends on preferving it from any wound, which once there received, too often becomes fatal and incurable? Suppofe fome villainous hand, through perfonal prejudice, tranfmits materials for this purpose, which you publish to the world, and afterwards become fully convinced you were impofed on (as by this time you may be of a character you have fent into the world), I fay, fuppofing this, I would be glad to know what reparation you think ought to be made the perfon fo injured, admitting you ftood in his place. It has always been held, that a generous education is the fureft mark of a generous mind. The former is indeed perfpicuous in all your papers; and I am persuaded, though you affect often to fhew the latter, yet you would not keep any measures (even of Chriftianity) with those who should handle you in the manner you do others. The application of all this is from your having very lately glanced at a man, under a character, that were he confcious to deferve, he would be the first to rid the world of himfelf; and would be more juftifiable in it to all forts of men, than you in your committing fuch a violence on his reputation, which perhaps you may be convinced of in another manner than you deferve from him. "A man of your capacity, Mr. Bickerstaff, fhould have more noble views, and purfue the true fpirit of fatire; but I will conclude, left I grow out of temper, and will only beg for your own prefervation, to remember the proverb of the pitcher. "I am yours, "A. J.” The proverb of the pitcher I have no regard to; but it would be an infenfibility not to be pardoned, if a man could be untouched at fo warm an accufation, and that laid with fo much. feeming temper. All I can fay to it is, "That if the writer, by the fame method whereby he conveyed this letter, shall give me. an instance wherein I have injured any good man, or pointed at anything which is not the true object of raillery, I shall acknowledge the offence in as open a manner as the press can do it, and lay down this paper for ever. There is fomething very terrible in unjustly attacking men in a way that may prejudice their honour or fortune; but when men of too modest a fense of themselves will think they are touched, it is impoffible to prevent ill confequences from the most innocent and general difcourfes. This I have known happen in circumstances the most foreign to theirs who have taken offence at them. An advertisement lately published, relating to Omicron, alarmed a gentleman of good sense, integrity, honour, and induftry, which is, in every particular, different from the trifling pretenders pointed at in that advertisement. When the modesty of fome is as exceffive as the vanity of others, what defence is there against mifinterpretation? How ever, giving disturbance, though not intended, to men of virtuous characters, has fo fincerely troubled me, that I will break from this fatirical vein, and to fhew I very little value myself upon it, shall for this month ensuing, leave the sharper, the fop, the pedant, the proud man, the infolent, in a word, all the train of knaves and fools, to their own devices, and touch on nothing but panegyrick. This way is fuitable to the true genius of the Staffs, who are much more inclined to reward than punish. If, therefore, the author of the above-mentioned letter does not command my filence wholly, as he shall if I do not give him fatisfaction, I fhall for the above-mentioned fpace turn my thoughts to raising merit from its obfcurity, celebrating virtue in its diftrefs, and attacking vice by no other method, but fetting innocence in a proper light. |