ing your intereft in demons, they cannot help you either to my or a fight of my face; therefore do not let them

name

deceive you.

"I can bear no difcourfe if you are not the fubject; and believe me, I know more of love than you do of aftronomy. "Pray fay fome civil things in return to my generosity, and you shall have my very best pen employed to thank you, and I will confirm it. I am,

"Your admirer,

"MARIA."

There is something wonderfully pleasing in the favour of women; and this letter has put me in fo good a humour, that nothing could displease me fince I received it. My boy breaks glaffes and pipes, and instead of giving him a knock of the pate, as my way is (for I hate fcolding at fervants), I only fay, "Ah, Jack! thou haft a head, and so has a pin," or fome fuch merry expreffion. But alas! how am I mortified when he is putting on my fourth pair of stockings on these poor spindles of mine? The fair one understands love better than I astronomy! I am fure, without the help of that art, this poor meagre trunk of mine is a very ill habitation for love. She is pleased to speak civilly of my fenfe, but ingenium male habitat is an invincible difficulty in cafes of this nature. I had always indeed, from a paffion to please the eyes of the fair, a great pleasure in dress. Add to this, that I have writ fongs fince I was fixty, and have lived with all the circumfpection of an old beau, as I am. But my friend Horace has very well faid, "Every year takes fomething from us," and inftructed me to form my pursuits and defires according to the stage of my life. Therefore, I have no more to value myself upon, than that I can converse with young people without peevishness, or wishing myself a moment younger. For which reason, when I am amongst them, I rather moderate than interrupt their diverfions. But though I have this complacency, I must not pretend to write to a lady civil things, as Maria defires. Time was, when I could have told her, I had received a letter from her fair hands; and that if this paper trembled as she

read it, it then best expreffed its author or fome other gay /conceit. Though I never faw her, I could have told her, that good fenfe and good humour fmiled in her eyes; that conftancy and good nature dwelt in her heart; that beauty and good breeding appeared in all her actions. When I was fiveand-twenty, upon fight of one fyllable, even wrong spelt, by a lady I never faw, I could tell her, that her height was that which was fit for inviting our approach, and commanding our respect; that a fmile fat on her lips, which prefaced her expreffions before she uttered them, and her aspect prevented her speech. All fhe could fay, though she had an infinite deal of wit, was but a repetition of what was expressed by her form-her form, which struck her beholders with ideas more moving and forcible than ever were infpired by musick, painting, or eloquence. At this rate I panted in thofe days; but ah! fixty-three! I am very forry I can only return the agreeable Maria a passion expressed rather from the head than the heart.

"DEAR MADAM,

"You have already feen the best of me, and I fo paffionately love you, that I defire we may never meet. If you will examine your heart, you will find that you join the man with the philofopher; and if you have that kind opinion of my fense as you pretend, I question not but you add to it complexion, air, and shape: but, dear Molly, a man in his grand climacterick is of no sex. Be a good girl, and conduct yourfelf with honour and virtue when you love one younger than myself. I am, with the greatest tenderness,

"Your innocent lover,

"I. B."

CHAPTER VII.

MARIA'S VISIT TO MR. BICKERSTÅFF, AND THEIR DISCOURSE.

WAS very much furprised this evening with a visit from one of the top toasts of the town, who came privately in a chair, and bolted into my room while I was reading a chapter of Agrippa upon the occult sciences; but as she entered with all the air and bloom that nature ever bestowed on woman, I threw down the conjurer and met the charmer. I had no fooner placed her at my right hand by the fire, but she opened to me the reason of her visit. "Mr. Bickerstaff," said the fine creature, “I have been your correspondent fome time, though I never faw you before; I have written by the name of Maria. You have told me you were too far gone in life to think of love, therefore I am answered as to the paffion I spoke of; and,” continued she, fmiling, "I will not ftay till you grow young again (as you men never fail to do in your dotage), but am come to confult you about difpofing of myself to another. My perfon you fee; my fortune is very confiderable, but I am at present under much perplexity how to act in a great conjuncture. I have two lovers, Craffus and Lorio: Craffus is prodigiously rich, but has not one diftinguishing quality, though at the fame time, he is not remarkable on the defective fide. Lorio has travelled, is well-bred, pleafant in difcourfe, difcreet in his conduct, agreeable in his person, and with all this, he has a competency of fortune without fuperfluity. When I confider Lorio, my mind is filled with an idea of the great fatisfactions of a pleasant converfation. When I think of Crafssus, my equipage, numerous fervants, gay liveries, and various dreffes, are oppofed to the charms of his rival. In a word, when I caft my eyes upon Lorio, I forget and despise fortune; when

I behold Craffus, I think only of pleafing my vanity, and enjoying an uncontrolled expenfe in all the pleasures of life, except love." She paused here.

"Madam," faid I, "I am confident you have not stated your cafe with fincerity, and that there is fome fecret pang which you have concealed from me: for I fee by your afpect the generosity of your mind; and that open ingenuous air lets me know that you have too great a sense of the generous paffion of love, to prefer the oftentation of life in the arms of Craffus to the entertainments and conveniences of it in the company of your beloved Lorio-for fo he is, indeed, madam; you speak his name with a different accent from the rest of your discourse; the idea his image raises in you, gives new life to your features and new grace to your fpeech. Nay, blush not, madam, there is no dishonour in loving a man of merit ; I affure you I am grieved at this dallying with yourself, when you put another in competition with him, for no other reafon but fuperior wealth." "To tell you, then,” said she, “the bottom of my heart, there's Clotilda lies by, and plants herself in the way of Craffus, and I am confident will snap him, if I refufe him. I cannot bear to think that she will shine above me. When our coaches meet, to see her chariot hung behind with four footmen and mine with but two; hers powdered, gay, and faucy, kept only for show; mine a couple of careful rogues that are good for fomething-I own I cannot bear that Clotilda fhould be in all the pride and wantonness of wealth, and I only in the eafe and affluence of it."

Here I interrupted. "Well, madam, now I fee your whole affliction: you could be happy, but that you fear another would be happier; or rather, you could be folidly happy, but that another is to be happy in appearance. This is an evil which you must get over, or never know happiness. We will put the case, madam, that you married Craffus and fhe Lorio." She answered, "Speak not of it; I could tear her eyes out at the mention of it." 'Well, then, I pronounce Lorio to be the man: but I must tell you, that what we call fettling in the world, is in a kind leaving it; and you must at once refolve to keep your thoughts of happiness within the reach of your fortune, and not meafure it by comparison with others.

66

"But indeed, madam, when I behold that beauteous form of yours, and confider the generality of your fex, as to their difpofal of themselves in marriage, or their parents doing it for them without their own approbation, I cannot but look upon all fuch matches as the most impudent prostitutions. Do but obferve when you are at a play, the familiar wenches that fit laughing among the men. These appear deteftable to you in the boxes: each of them would give up her person for a guinea; and fome of you would take the worst there for life for twenty thoufand. If fo, how do you differ but in price? As to the circumstance of marriage, I take that to be hardly an alteration of the cafe, for wedlock is but a more folemn prostitution, where there is not a union of minds. You would hardly believe it, but there have been designs even upon me.

"A neighbour in this very lane, who knows I have, by leading a very wary life, laid up a little money, had a great mind to marry me to his daughter. I was frequently invited to their table: the girl was always very pleasant and agreeable. After dinner, Mifs Molly would be fure to fill my pipe for me, and put more fugar than ordinary into my coffee, for she was fure I was good-natured. If I chanced to hem, the mother would applaud my vigour; and has often said on that occafion, I wonder, Mr. Bickerstaff, you do not marry Things went fo far that my mistress prefented me with a wrought night-cap and a laced band of her own working. I began to think of it in earneft; but one day, having an occafion to ride to Iflington, as two or three people were lifting me upon my pad, I fpied her at a convenient diftance laughing at her lover, with a parcel of romps of her acquaintance. One of them, who I fuppofe had the fame design upon me, told me she said, 'Do you see how brifkly my old gentleman mounts?' This made me cut off my amour, and to reflect with myself that no married life could be fo unhappy, as where the wife proposes no other advantage from her husband, than that of making herself fine, and keeping her out of the dirt."

My fair client burst out a laughing at the account I gave her of my escape, and went away feemingly convinced of the reasonableness of my difcourfe to her.