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MR. BICKERSTAFF OBTAINS THE AID OF PACOLET, A GOOD GENIUS, IN THE DISCHARGE OF HIS CENSORIAL DUTIES,

UCH hurry and bufinefs had to-day perplexed me into a mood too thoughtful for going into company for which reafon, instead of the tavern, I went into Lincoln's-Inn walks; and having taken a round or two, I fat down, according to the allowed familiarity of thefe places, on a bench, at the other end of which fat a venerable gentleman, who, fpeaking with a very affable air," Mr. Bickerstaff," said he, "I take it for a very great piece of good fortune that you have found me out." 66 Sir," "faid I, "I had never, that I know of, the honour of feeing you before." "That," replied he, "is what I have often lamented; but I affure you I have for many years done you many good offices without being obferved by you; or elfe, when you had any little glimpse of my being concerned in an affair, you have fled from me, and fhunned me like an enemy; but, however, the part I am to act in the world is fuch, that I am to go on in doing good, though I meet with never fo many repulfes, even from those I oblige." This, thought I, fhows a great good nature, but little judgment in the perfons upon whom he confers his favours. He immediately took notice to me, that he observed by my countenance I thought him indifcreet in his beneficence, and proceeded to tell me his quality in the following manner: "I know thee, Ifaac, to be fo well verfed in the occult fciences, that I need not much preface, or make long preparations to

gain your faith that there are airy beings, who are employed in the care and attendance of men, as nurses are to infants, till they come to an age in which they can act of themselves. These beings are ufually called amongst men, guardian angels; and, Mr. Bickerstaff, I am to acquaint you, that I am to be yours for fome time to come, it being our orders to vary our ftations, and fometimes to have one patient under our protection and sometimes another, with a power of assuming what shape we please, to enfnare our wards into their own good. I have of late been upon fuch hard duty, and know you have so much work for me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face to defire you will give me as little occafion for vigilance as you can." "Sir," faid I, "it will be a great instruction to me in behaviour if you please to give me fome account of your late employments, and what hardships or fatisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myself accordingly." He answered, “To give you an example of the drudgery we go through, I will entertain you only with my three laft ftations. I was on the first of April last put to mortify a great beauty, with whom I was a week; from her I went to a common fwearer, and have been last with a gamefter. When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was to guard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were fo numerous, and the house after the modern way, fo full of looking-glaffes, that I feldom had her fafe but in her fleep. Whenever we went abroad, we were furrounded by an army of enemies—when a well-made man appeared, he was fure to have a fide glance of obfervation-if a difagreeable fellow, he had a full face, out of mere inclination to conquests. But at the close of the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was fitting on a couch reading Ovid's epiftles, and as she came to this line of Helen to Paris,

'She half confents who filently denies,

entered Philander, who is the moft fkilful of all men in an addrefs to women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them, which is, "To talk like a very miferable man, but look like a very happy one.' I faw Dictinna blush

at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but he immediately faid fomething fo agreeably on her being at study, and the novelty of finding a lady employed in fo grave a manner, that he on a fudden became very familiarly a man of no confequence, and in an inftant laid all her fufpicions of his skill afleep, as he almost had done mine, till I obferved him very dangerously turn his difcourfe upon the elegance of her drefs, and her judgment in the choice of that very pretty mourning. Having had women before under my care, I trembled at the apprehenfion of a man of sense who could talk upon trifles, and refolved to stick to my post with all the circumfpection imaginable. In short, I prepoffeffed her against all he could say to the advantage of her drefs and perfon; but he turned again the discourse, where I found I had no power over her, on the abufing her friends and acquaintance. He allowed, indeed, that Flora had a little beauty and a great deal of wit; but then fhe was fo ungainly in her behaviour, and fuch a laughing Hoyden.Paftorella had with him the allowance of being blameless but what was that towards being praiseworthy? To be only innocent, is not to be virtuous. He afterwards spoke fo much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead, Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks, that she grew downright in love with him; for it is always to be understood, that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her fex to be a gift to her. In a word, things went fo far, that I was dismissed. The next, as I faid, I went to, was a common swearer. Never was a creature so puzzled as myself when I came first to view his brain: half of it was worn out and filled up with mere expletives, that had nothing to do with any other parts of the texture, therefore when he called for his clothes in a morning, he would cry, John ?'-John does not answer. What a plague! Nobody there? What the D-1, and rot me! John, for a lazy dog as you are.' I knew no way to cure him, but by writing down all he said one morning as he was dreffing, and laying it before him on the toilet when he came to pick his teeth. The last recital I gave him of what he faid for half an hour before was, 'What, a rot me! Where is the wash-ball? Call the chairman. D--n

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'em, I warrant they are at the alehouse already! Zounds, and confound 'em.' When he came to the glass, he takes up my note-Ha! This fellow is worse than me. What, does he fwear with pen and ink?' `But reading on, he found them to be his own words. The ftratagem had fo good an effect upon him, that he grew immediately a new man, and is learning to speak without an oath, which makes him extremely short in his phrases; for as I obferved before, a common fwearer has a brain without any idea on the fwearing fide; therefore my ward has yet a mighty little to fay, and is forced to fubstitute fome other vehicle of nonsense to supply the defect of his usual expletives. When I left him, he made ufe of Odfbodikins !' 'Oh me!' and 'never stir alive!' and fo forth, which gave me hopes of his recovery. So I went to the next I told you of, the gamefter. When we first take our place about a man, the receptacles of the Pericranium are immediately fearched. In his, I found no one ordinary trace of thinking; but strong paffion, violent defires, and a continued feries of different changes had torn it to pieces. There appeared no middle condition; the triumph of a prince, or the mifery of a beggar were his alternate states. I was with him no longer than one day, which was yesterday. In the morning at twelve we were worth four thousand pounds; at three, we were arrived at fix thousand; half an hour after, we were reduced to one thousand; at four of the clock, we were down to two hundred; at five, to fifty, at fix, to five; at seven, to one guinea; the next bet, to nothing. This morning he borrowed half-a-crown of the maid who cleans his fhoes, and is now gaming in Lincoln'sInn-Fields among the boys for farthings and oranges, till he has made up three pieces, and then he returns to White's into the best company in town." This ended our first discourse; and it is hoped you will forgive me that I have picked fo little out of my companion at our first interview. In the next, it is poffible he may tell me more pleafing incidents; for though he is a familiar, he is not an evil, fpirit.

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PACOLET GIVES AN ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF AND HIS ADVENTURES-GAMESTERS.

FAD it not been that my familiar had appeared to me, as I told you in my laft, in perfon, I had certainly been unable to have found even words, without meaning, to keep up my intelligence with the town; but he has checked me feverely for my defpondence, and ordered me to go on in my defign of obferving upon things and forbearing perfons; "for," faid he, "the age you live in is fuch, that a good picture of any vice or virtue will infallibly be mifreprefented; and though none will take the kind defcriptions you make fo much to themselves, as to wish well to the author, yet all will refent the ill characters you produce, out of fear of their own turn in the license you must be obliged to take, if you point at particular perfons." I took this admonition kindly, and immediately promifed him to beg pardon of the author of the "Advice to the Poets," for my raillery upon his work, though I aimed at no more in that examination, but to convince him, and all men of genius, of the folly of laying themselves out on fuch plans as are below their characters. I hope too, it was done without ill-breeding, and nothing fpoken below what a civilian (as it is allowed I am) may utter to a phyfician. After this preface, all the world may be fafe from my writings; for if I can find nothing to commend, I am filent, and will forbear the subject, for though I am a reformer, I fcorn to be an inquifitor. ...

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