It would be impossible to tell what I suffered after reaching home. I sought places of retirement where I might breathe out my soul to God. Often in the night-time deliverance seemed very near; I could almost reach out and grasp the blessing, when the enemy would whisper, "If you get converted you will shout and awaken everybody in the house.' He kept me in constant fear, knowing how much out of the ordinary it would have been for a person in our home to shout and praise the Lord. My father invited a minister of the M. E. Church to preach in our school house, where a class was formed and our membership placed. He was a young college graduate and preached good sermons, but had no power. He flourished his left hand gracefully in order to display a gold ring which he wore. I wondered at his disregard for God's word and the Methodist discipline, which forbid the wearing of gold. The enemy used this ring to distract my thoughts from spiritual things. I wondered who would be the fortunate (?) young woman on whose finger this ring would be placed sooner or later. In a short time after he came to the charge a girl of my own age was wearing it, who became his wife a few months later. The very fact that this preacher fell in love with a fifteen-year-old girl and married her within a year after being placed on this charge proved that he had no salvation. His college education had made a fool of him, rather than fitted him for the ministry, which is usually the case. The young woman I knew had not a particle of salvation; in fact, she made no profession of Christianity; all that could be said of her was that she was a church member. This man has filled many important pulpits and positions in the Kentucky Conference, and remains until this day without any spiritual life. He promised to hold a protracted meeting for us to which we anxiously looked forward. At last the services were begun, but after preaching three evenings, he closed with no particular reason for doing so, claiming that duty called him elsewhere. After he left the charge, another young college preacher was sent, who proved to have less ability than his predecessor. My hope for a revival was again blasted. The Lord had answered my prayer for a hymn-book and a Bible, had converted my brother and raised him from a bed of sickness, and I believed it was time to pray for a preacher to come who would hold special revival services and give the people a chance to publicly seek the Lord. I had no regrets when our pastor left, and anxiously W. B. Godbey was awaited his successor. sent in answer to prayer. He began special meetings in our neighborhood November 5, 1878. I was away from home and did not attend the first service; the second evening I went forward with others on the first invitation. Our hired man knelt near me, whom I had always considered very wicked, as he attended balls and places of worldly amusement. After a short struggle he leaped to his feet shouting. On the other side of me was a worldly neighbor girl who loved to dance; she broke through and began to praise God for deliverance from her sins. were a great surprise to me. These conversions they, being more worldly than I, would be longer in finding Christ. In this my self righteousness was manifest, which was as filthy rags in God's sight. I had to learn that salvation is a free gift, and not merited by any one; also that grace will reach as far as sin has gone, when conditions are met, and that through faith in the atoning blood we are made free. I found no relief that evening, and left the house in great distress. I could hear the wails of the lost, and felt that one more step would take me over the brink into the abyss. Everything hitherto tried had failed to bring relief, and I knew that it was not in the power of human beings to help me. All desire for food was taken from me. The next day, as far as possible, I remained out of sight. The cry of my soul was, "I must be saved to-night or be lost forever. On entering the meeting house that evening, I found the seats all taken except two benches near the speaker, that were used for mourners. I sat down on one of these, near the end, and held tightly to keep from falling to the floor, for I was almost prostrated under my load. The text was Romans 6:23: "The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." Breathing became difficult as the preacher thundered the terrors of the law. The old serpent seemed to be tightening his coils about me. Conviction was settling down with such power on the congregation that some turned sick and sought to escape from the house. One of my uncles, who had been trying to be a Universalist, went out and threw up his supper, and returned. Hell was uncapped; men looked into it and became desperately sick of their sins. The call for seekers brought many to the altar. Demons seemed to be clutching at my heart-strings as I sank to the floor at the end of the seat. A sister came to talk with me, but I was sorry she did so, as I wished to be alone. When she left, the preacher came and knelt at my side and asked me to repeat |