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“when they die, go to enjoy the happiness of the heavenly world, but when the bad die, they go down to the world of unhappiness." But to which place would you go? Are you good or bad ? “I have told a great many lies, and used very bad language, before I came to live with you, and I don't know where I shall go when I die.” But do you not commit sin now? “I don't tell lies or use bad language now; but I sometimes get angry with the other girls.” Does God know your sins? “God sees and knows every thing I do and say; and I am very much afraid of God.” Do you think of your sins sometimes ? “ I think of my sins every day.” Her mistress then tried to give her some ideas of heaven, and described its inhabitants, as holy and happy beings; and told her that God was more ready to give her the happiness of heav-' en, than she herself was to give her the supplies and comforts which she daily received. She then said, with delight, “ I want to go to that happy place, when I die. But Mama is very good, and gives me every thing I wish for, so that I want to get well and stay with her." But if you should ask me for fine clothes and rich ornaments, I could not give them to you; or if you should ask me to procure the forgiveness of your sins, I could not do it, for no one can do that, but the Son of God. “I know it, Mama; none but Jesus Christ can take away our sins." And do you really. desire to have Jesus Christ forgive your sins?
“ I do desire it; for I am afraid I shall go down to hell, when I die." Then ask him to forgive your sins. If you only ask him as earnestly as you ask me for medicine when you are in distress, he will certainly listen to your prayers.
Her mistress then taught her to repeat short petitions, adapted to her capacity and peculiar situation, instead of the form of prayer, which she had been used to repeat. While she was praying, her countenance and voice indicated considerable earnestness and anxiety; and we could not but hope, that she did, in some small degree, feel her need of a Saviour.
Feb. 5. After some conversation, similar to that of yesterday, she was asked, What did Jesus Christ do to deliver us from sin and hell? “He came down from heaven, and suffered death for us." Do you think he will forgive your sins? “I think he will, before I die.” Do you want to pray to him ? " I want to pray to him every day." When you first came to live with us, you did not know that there was an eternal God. Do you believe it now, or do you sometimes think there is no other God, but Gaudama? Tell me, Meh Shway-ee, what you really think. “I think there is a God, far above us, in the heavenly world.” But
have not seen bim; do you really believe what you say ? “Yes, Mama, I know there is a great eternal God in heaven.”
Feb. 7. For two days, she failed very fast, but continued to talk about her sins, and endeavored to say her prayers every day.
On being asked whether she wanted to get well, she replied, “No, Mama, I had rather die and go to heaven.” Has Christ then forgiven your sins? “I think he has not forgiven them yet, but he will." Her mistress replied, If he forgive your sins, I shall see
you again in that happy world. She looked up with a smile on her little cmaciated face, and said, “How happy shall we be, when we get there." Her disorder occasions her much pain, so that frequently, she is not able to converse at all. Her mistress, therefore, keeps her by her side, in her own room, that she may lose no opportunity of conversing with her on the concerns of her soul.
Feb. 8th. Me Shway-ee has been able to say but very few words to-day, beside her prayers; but on being asked whether she thought Christ had forgiven her sins, she said, " I hope he has."
Feb.9th. Two women came in, with whom a conversation was held, on the subject of religion ; but they were very stupid and inattentive. After a while, one of them turned round, and inquired whether that little sick child knew how to pray, (referring to what had just been said to them on the subject of prayer.) Meh Shwayee was then requested to repeat a short prayer. But she had been listening to the remarks of the women, and seemed very reluctant to satisfy their vain curiosity. She seemed to feel, that prayer was too solemn an exercise to be trifled with. One of the girls who was sitting by her, was then requested to repeat the prayer. Meh Shway-ee listened with deep attention, and when she came to that part which speaks of a change of heart, she repeated, with strong emphasis, “Oh! change my heart." Subsequently, the state of her mind being inquired into, it appeared that she was very much distressed on account of her sins; and she said, “I have not yet got a new heart, and am afraid to die."
Feb. Ilth. Her mistress having told her much about the happy state of the inhabitants of heaven, and tried to encourage her to believe that Christ was willing to give her all that happiness, if she would pray for it with all her heart, she replied, “I should like to die, if I could go to such a place; but I am afraid Christ will not call me up there, when I die, because I am so sinful.”
Feb. 13th. About noon, on receiving a little food, she looked up with peculiar earnestness and affection, and said, "O Mama, how much I love you.” Although she had been remarkably affectionate and grateful for every kind attention, during her illness, there was something su unusual in her manner, at this time, that her mistress wondered what had excited such grateful feelings; and sitting down by her side, she said, Meh Shway-ee, you seem a little better to-day; would you like to get well gradually, and grow up to be a woman? She replied, “No, Mama, I want to be well at once, and go to heaven. I want to die; then I shall be well and happy." But where are all your sins, which have made you so much afraid to die? “I think they are all forgiven.” When were they forgiven? “To-day, Mama ; I think all my sins were forgiven to-day.” Who has forgiven your sins ? “The Lord Jesus Christ, the holy Son of God.”. Are you happier to-day than yesterday? “O yes, I am not afraid now; I am happy.” She was much exhausted by this conversation, for she spoke with great earnestness and feeling. After trying in vain, to get a little sleep, she called to her mistress, and said, “I do very much wish to have you sit down here by me, Mama." Iler mistress sat down by her,
and asked her why she wished her to sit there. She replied, “ I want you to teach me;" and, turning her eyes upwards, she remained silent for a moment; and then, in a very deliberate, emphatic man. ner, prayed, “O thou eternal God, wilt thou forgive my many sins, - and let me die and go to heaven; and wilt thou also let Mama die soon, and come up to heaven too." Her mistress says, I remained silent; for I felt that God was there. Ah, how vain did all earthly things appear, when gazing on that poor little timid child, by grace enabled to long for death and immortal glory. After some time spent apparently in deep contemplation, she turned her eyes to her mistress and said, referring to her little prayer, “That is what I want;" and with a sweet smiling countenance, added, “I am not afraid now ; I want to die and go to heaven; but I shall want to see Mama there; would you not like to die and go to that happy place ? will you not ask God to let you go?
?" She made many other child-like remarks, all indicating a very happy state of mind, and very affectionate feelings towards all around her.
Feb. 14th. Meh Shway-ee was carried out for a change of air, and spent the day with Mrs Boardman, who says she has been in a very happy state of mind. She talked of dying and going to heave en, without expressing any of those fears, from which she has suf. fered so much during her illness.
Feb. 17th. Lord's day. She expressed a wish to attend the native worship Her mistress tried to persuade her not to think of it, lest she should cry out, when in pain, and disturb the assembly; but on promising, that though she should suffer ever so much, she would not cry out, her little bed was placed at the door, where she could hear distinctly. She listened with fixed attention, to about half the sermon, when she was taken with a very distressing spasm; she rolled about on her bed, but did not make any noise that could be heard by the assembly.
Feb. 21st. Since the last date, her mind has continued in peaceful state; and the evidences of a real work of grace have become every day more apparent. May we all be enabled to imitate her patience, under extreme suffering. The following little circumstance may be mentioned, as a specimen of her self-denial. She had been in the habit of asking for the liver of the fowl, which was dressed every day for her dinner; and she considered it one of those little luxuries, which she could still enjoy. To-day, however, she did not ask for it, as usual; and her mistress being particularly engaged, did not propose it, knowing she felt perfectly free to ask for any thing she wanted. During the day, she was also remarkably quiet, and did not ask for so many things as usual. In the night, she said affectionately to her mistress, who was taking care of her, “Does not your head ache, Mama? I am afraid
will get ill, by taking so much care of me, beside all the rest you have to do every day.” She then added, " I did not ask for the fowl's liver to-day, because you looked so tired, that I did not like to trouble you to prepare it for me; and I thought I could do without it, if I really tried.”.
soon, for her
Feb. 28th. Since the last date, she has been extremely ill, and on account of her distressing cough, able to converse but very
little. She has sometimes been obliged to stop in the midst of her prayer, and give it up for the whole day. She knows that she shall die
mistress ha made death a subject of familiar conversation with her. Meh Shway-ee loves to dwell on the subject, and seems to drink in all she hears, as if it were nourishing to her soul. This afternoon, being a little more comfortable, she asked to bc taught to pray. She is not satisfied with the form of prayer,
which she formerly learnt, but wants to be taught to pray in a manner adapted to her peculiar situation, as a poor, sick, ignorant child, about to die; and she always wants to be allowed to pray, that God would soon call her mistress, after her, up to heaven. When she had done praying, her mistress said to Mee Aa (one of the school-girls, who was sitting by in tears,) you must pray for little Meh Shway-ee, for she will die soon. “Yes,” said Meh Shway-ee, “ do pray for me, for I am very ill; I can't stay here,--but I shali go to heaven, when I die. There I shall never be angry, or impatient more. There I shall never be ill; but I shall see Christ there, and many good people. At first, I shall not know them ; I shall want to see Mama there; when she comes, 0 how happy I shall be. Sister Aa, don't you want to go with us? If you repent of your sins, and love the Lord Jesus Christ above all things in this world, he will love you, and call you up to heav,
I did not always love the Lord Jesus Christ. Before I came to live with Mama, I used to be angry and tell lies, and revile every body I did not like. I never, in my life, said a prayer, and did not even know that there was a Jesus Christ. And af, ter I came here, I used to get angry with the girls, and did not love God. So when I was taken ill, I was afraid to die, and thought I should go to hell. But the teachers and both Mamas prayed for me, and taught me to pray too, and told me, that if I repented of my sins and loved Christ, he would love me. But I could not love him much at first. But that day, when he forgave my sins, I could love him above all. O, I remember how happy I was that day, when Christ loved me, and took away all my sins. Now I am not afraid to die, for I am going to heaven.” She went through this little narrative with much feeling, and towards the close, seemed to forget every thing but the delightful subject; and her pale countenance was lighted up with that peculiar smile, which indicates heavenly peace in the soul. But when she had finished, she sunk down upon her pillow, quite exhausted ; and Mee Aa, who had listened with deep attention, said, “I wish Christ would love me, and take away my sins.” Meh Shway-ee did not rest long, before she began to talk again, and said, “ How much I love you, Mama. How good you are to take such kind care of me. I love all the teachers too, and the other Mama, and all the girls, and grandmamma," (Mah Lah, a native convert, an elderly woman, who takes care of the children's food and clothing.) “I love every body; but I love Jesus Christ more than all, for he came down and died to save me from hell."
March 1st. Meh Shway-ee was much worse, and to all appearance, near her eternal home. Two or three times in the course of the day, she exclaimed, “O Mama, I must die, for I cannot breathe.” After recovering from one of her distressing turns, she gave her mistress her little playthings, saying, “ Please to take them, Mama; I don't want them any longer. There is my fanam, too, (a small silver coin, the only money she had ever owned,) I will give that, also, to you, for I shall never want it again." Her mistress replied, You had better give it to one of the little girls. Which of them do you love most? “I love them all," she said, " but I want to give my money to Mama, for I love her most." Very well, replied her mistress, I will put it in my box, and when Meh Shway-ee is dead, I shall look at it, and think of my little girl. “ Yes, do Mama," she answered with a smiling countenance. Her mistress then said, You have been saying to-day, that you should die. Is your mind sorrowful because you must die? “No,” she replied, “my mind is not at all sorrowful; I don't want to get well; I had rather go to heaven. I can't say my prayer to-day, because my cough is so bad; but I like to think of Christ, and of heaven ; and that don't make me cough; and I like to hear Mama pray."
March 2d. She seemed a little better; and it was thought she might continue some days longer. About noon, she told her mistress she felt able to pray; and she seemed to enjoy the exercise very much.
March 3d. She was able to talk a good deal, and gave clearer evidence, than ever before, of a genuine work of grace in her heart.
March 5th. Her mistress rose before day, to attend upon her little charge. She found her quite easy and inclined to converse. “ Mama,” said she, “ I want to call you Mah-aa,” (mother)" because I love you so much.” You may call me so, said her mistress, and you shall be my little daughter. I love you very much, and therefore, keep you here, in my own room, day and night. Soon after, on hearing Mr Wade speak, she said, “ Teacher, have you done sleeping ?" Yes, he replied, it is beginning to be light, and I must arise. She then said to her mistress, I should like to call the teacher Pah-aa" (father.) “ Will he let me call him so ?" Mr Wade replied, Yes, my little daughter, you may call me Pah-aa. And what, said her mistress, would you like to call the other teacher ? She replied, “ I should like to call him Pah-aa too." She then said to Mr Wade, “ Pah-aa, I think
sins are all forgiven.” Who has forgiven your sins ? “The Lord Jesus Christ, the holy Son of God.” What has he done to save you? came down from heaven and died to save me. He has forgiven all my sins. In heaven above, I can find happiness. I must die; I can't stay here; but I am not afraid, for my sins are all taken away. When I die, I want Pah-aa to come up there too; will you follow after me soon, Pah-aa.” Yes, he replied, I will follow you, my little daughter, as soon as God shall call me.
Some time after, one of the girls came in and made her bed. It was not made to suit her, and she began to be impatient and