moment of time, and every word, thought, and action. O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me: thy ways of dealing with me and mine have not been common ones-add this wonder to the rest. Call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord, all things are possible with thee: glorify thy son, and extend his kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope, in the day when thou saidst to me, "Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive." Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in thy hand as to all temporal things. I wait for thy salvation. Amen. New-York, August 18, 1791. THUS far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice. This night I have tidings through a letter to Dr. M. that my son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help he escaped with his skin; but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and I made up with so much care, labour, and expense, they have carried off, and he is once more left naked. Satan, and a corrupt heart, unite in tempting me to fret. Dare I utter a word, or harbour a murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up : to my choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in my God have been highest, and prospects for eternity brightest. Has the Lord given me in some measure victory over the world? Do its honours, riches, show, and gaudy splendours, appear to me empty and vain, and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment by the way through this wilderness, seem all that is necessary? And is it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in kind and degree, as he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that for my child which I despise for myself? Alas! Lord, it is because he feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better portion. Still, still foolish. Was it when I was full, or in want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked and persisted in asking for my children, salvation from sin and self? Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of submission and resignation to thy will-to enjoy God in all things, and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I, fret when I see the Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself, and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first tasted the blessedness of his chosen? Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll them all over upon thee. I will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together for good to their souls; and that I shall yet see the day, or if I see it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footstool; sink into the open arms of thy mercy in Christ; melted down in holy, humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall sing as I do now, "It hath been very good for me that I have been afflicted." I wait for thy salvation. Amen. New-York, September 1791. MANY have been my burdens of late; strangers laid upon me to provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all their due, and provide for my own family. But what is that to me, the Lord increases business, lays more largely to hand, bears me and my burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well give when thou wilt, and call for it again, when and for what purpose thou wilt, it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is thine; the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a by a way which I know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety still. Amen. New-York, October 10, 1791. THIS day, did the Lord's sent servant, in a solemn manner, take us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's; and that once more, Christ and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the Redeemer's table, among his professing people; and I have reason to think, given their hearty assent to his covenant. Glory! Glory Glory! to the hearer of prayer. I have cast my fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my confidence. One thing, one only thing, have I asked for them, leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld, as consisting with that I seek for my four children and myself, first of all, the kingdom of God. My God from day to day adds many other comforts, and strengthens my hopes by promising appearances, that the grain of mustard seed is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they have made. Saturday, Sept. 1791. The Lord made me a grandmother, assisted my poor weakly girl in child-bearing, and gave a son to her and my arms. There was joy that a man child was born into the world, and according to thy word, she remembered no more her pain. Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a small thing with thee. Look, O look, on this twig from a guilty stock; poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and still less for its soul. O God of the spirits of all flesh, give it a plunge in the blood of Jesus-cleanse, O cleanse him from original sin, and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and mysterious way, sow the grain of mustard seed in his soul. New-York, Jan. 20, 1792. THIS day our worthy pastor preached from Revelations, xiv. 4. These are they who follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth; these are redeemed from among men, being the first fruits unto God, and to the Lamb, and in their mouth was found no guile, for they are without fault before God. The one hundred and forty-four thousand on mount Zion around the Lamb, having their Father's name written on their foreheads. A goodly number. The people of God redeemed from among men, and distinguished from the world by the image of God stampt upon their souls, by the Spirit of God dwelling in and operating on their hearts, and this distinguishable by the effects it produces on their lives and conver sation. They follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. The Lamb is their leader, and they keep him ever in their view; the world, the men of the world, live to and for the world. "Some walk in honour's gaudy show, "Some dig for golden ore, "They toil for heirs, they know not who, These are their chief objects, which they hunt through life, unmindful of the Gospel call, of the of fered salvation, of the remonstrances of God in his word, providences, and by his sent servants, till they drop, oh where! into the pit of the beast, the prince of this world, whose mark is in their foreheads, his image ripened in their souls, and visible in their lives and conversations. The followers of the Lamb shall share with him in his glory; the followers of the beast shall share with him in the wine of God's wrath, poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation, and be tormented day and night with fire, in the presence of the Lamb and his holy angels; and the smoke of their torment ascendeth up day and night, who worship the beast, and receive the mark of his name. Why do I start, why do I stagger at the divine declaration? The Judge of all the earth, yea, of Heaven and Hell, and all worlds, shall do right, yet shall he do this. Mercy as well as judgment is, was, and ever |