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arm. (Offers his arm to Evans, by mistake, and lugs him off, unknowingly.)

Sir T. I'll take your other wing, as I'm rather lame. Stop, stop. Eh! zounds! you young fellows are so brisk. I can't Why, hang me if he hasn't carried off the (Exeunt.)

run races now.

butler!

Scene 2.-The great Dining-room in Friendly Hall; tables laid out for dinner.

(Enter Dinah and Frank.)

Frank. Now, then, Di., for the important moment. An't all in a twitter?

you

Dinah. La, Frank, how you do go on! Has Evans summoned the family to dinner yet?

Frank. He is gone now. Poor Ned! I can well conceive the agony he is in, at this moment; blushing like a full-blown rose, every step he takes. Hey! here they come.

(Enter Sir Thomas, Lady Friendly, and Blushington; followed by Evans, Gyp, Nick, and Servants.)

Ha! my dear Blushington! Welcome, welcome! I rejoice to meet a fellow cantab, a brother soph, once again. Allow me to introduce you to my sister. Brother Soph, sister Di.; sister Di., brother Soph.

Blush. Thank ye, my dear fellow, thank ye-hope you're well, with all my heart and soul. (Advances timidly, and, without looking towards Dinah, shakes her heartily by the hand, supposing her to be young Friendly.)

Sir T. Eh! that's Dinah. This is Frank.

Blush. Happy to see you, miss-hope you're quite well, miss. (Bowing to Frank, who has taken Dinah's place, supposing him to be Dinah.)

Frank. Nay, nay; here's Dinah.

Blush. Oh! yes, certainly by all means. Another mistake. (Aside.) Extremely proud, Mr. Friendly-great honor -happy-see-Miss Dinah

Dinah. Very gratified, Mr. Blushington, to have the honor of meeting any friend of my brother.

Sir T. But come, take your places; the dinner's getting cold. Mr. Blushington, you will sit by my daughter.

Blush. Yes, certainly; by all means-that is-oh! with great pleasure. What will become of me? oh! that wooden Xenophon. I feel my cheeks burning like a firebrand; and misfor

tunes never come alone. (Aside.) Dear me; if I haven't taken the young lady's chair: beg pardon. (After some blunders on the part of Blushington, with the chairs, they sit down to dinner-he first by seating himself in Dinah's lap by mistake; the baronet and his lady sit at the back, fronting the audienceFrank on one side, and Dinah and Blushington on the outside, nearest the audience, so that they can see the motions of all parties.)

Sir T'. Now, then, Mr. Blushington, allow me to send you some soup, and you, Dinah; 'tis turtle, and fit for young lovers. Blush. You're very good a little drop-I'm getting some. what cool now, if it does but last. (Aside.) Bread, Miss Di. nah; allow me to help you. Eh! bless me; if I haven't knock. ed over the salt. Oh, dear! oh, dear! Excuse my awkward. ness, miss. I'm at it again. (Aside.)

Dinah. Don't mention it, I beg; 'tis not of the slightest consequence. We are not in the least superstitious here.

Sir T. Throw a little over your left shoulder, Mr. Blushington. (Blushington, in throwing some of the salt over his left shoulder, almost blinds Nicholas, who is standing behind him with his mouth open, and receives it in his face; endeavoring to amend the error, he then salutes Sir Thomas in a similar man ner, and, in his confusion, tilts his plate of hot soup into his lap.) Blush. Oh dear! Oh dear!

Sir T.

Hey! zounds, what's the matter now? Nick. 'Squire ha' tilted the hot soup over his breeches, Sir Thomas.

Sir T.

rascal.

Dear! dear! what an accident! Some clean cloths,

Lady F. It's always unlucky to upset the salt. I thought something fatal would happen through it.

Dinah. I hope no material injury is like to occur from this, Mr. Blushington!

Frank. You haven't completely scalded yourself. Nothing fatal, is there, Ned? Why don't you bring some napkins, Nicholas ?

Blush. I musn't appear to mind it, though I am more than three parts parboiled. (Aside.) Not at all-not at all-'tis a mere trifle.

Nick. I'll wipe you down, sir. your silks will be as good as ever, hasn't taken the skin off, has it, sir? as if nothing had happened.

Nothing shall be spoiled: with a little washing. It There, now you're as well

Blush. (Aside.) As well as if nothing had happened, after such a fomentation as this? Why, my legs and thighs seem stewing in a boiling cauldron. Oh dear! oh dear! if any. body would but chuck me into the New River now.

Sir T. Here, Nicholas, take away the soup. You don't wish for any more, do you, Mr. Blushington?

Blush. Not a drop, I can assure you.

Sir T. No; I think we've had enough. Shall I trouble you to cut up that capon?

Blush. Carve a capon! Lord bless me, I couldn't carve a cabbage; but I must not let them see my ignorance. I must try and hack it, somehow. (Aside.) Oh, yes; certainly, by all means. Eh! there, if I haven't knocked over the butterboat. Nothing but misfortunes. Oh! that I could hide myself forever from the light of day!

Lady F. Allow me, Mr. Blushington. You young bachelors are not so used to carving, as us old married folks: Dinah is as awkward at carving, as any one. Matrimony is the only thing to make good carvers. Blush. Certainly; by all means! Your ladyship is extremely good. I'd give a thousand pounds if dinner was but once well over. (Aside.)

Frank. Mr. Blushington, Dinah will take a glass of wine with you.

Blush. Oh! yes, certainly; by all means! Lord bless me ! Shall I take the liberty, miss?

Dinah. I beg your pardon, Mr. Blushington, but that is the vinegar cruet you have in your hand; there is the bucellas. Blush. Ask ten thousand pardons, I'm sure; but my sight -Takes hold of a jug of beer.)

Dinah. No; that is the beer.

Blush. True: yes, certainly; by all means! that is the beer: this is the wine. Very laughable! Can't think how I can make so many mistakes! Am extremely happy to nob and hob-that is, hob and nob.

Sir T. Let me recommend a piece of this pudding, Mr. Blushington: you'll find it uncommonly good; I can assure you, I do.

Blush. Oh! yes; certainly, by all means. (Sir Thomas helps Blushington to some pudding; he cuts a piece, and is about to put it into his mouth.)

Dinah. Shall I trouble you for a part of that widgeon, Mr. Blushington ?

Blush. Oh! yes; certainly, by all means. (Pops the piece of pudding into his mouth.) Eh! oh! ah! I-my mouth! my mouth!-fire! water!-I'm burnt! I'm-oh! ah! eh!

Sir T. God bless me !-Ah! there's nothing so bad as hot pudding. Some water there, Nicholas !

Lady F. No; oil is the best for drawing out fire, Sir Tho mas. The poor young man is full of accidents!

Dinah. If I might advise, Mr. Blushington, I would recommend wine.

All. Ay, ay; a glass of sherry.

Frank. Nicholas, bring a glass of sherry, rascal!

Nich. (Aside.) Sherry! I'll give him a little brandy. He needs something, so dashed as he is: besides, he gave me some strong ale this morning, and one good turn deserves another.Here it be, sir. (Gives Blushington a glass of brandy.)

Blush. Certainly, by all means-thank ye. (Drinks.) Oh! murder, murder; I'm scarified-I'm skinned-I'm-oh dear! oh dear!-the brandy, the brandy!

Gyp. I must get him away; he's incurable.

Sir T. What do you mean, scoundrel, by giving the gentleman brandy! You incendiary, do you think we are playing at Snap-dragon? Silence your giggling there, or I'll discharge the whole of you! Compose yourself, Mr. Blushington. Be cool! Sit down a bit.

Blush. I'm in a perspiration-a conflagration! Where's my handkerchief? (Takes his inky handkerchief, and blacks his face.)

Sir T.

Oh! oh! but I can't stand that.

Gyp. I must get him away. Leave the place, sir. (Taking away his chair, to give him room.)

Blush. Eh! leave the place, Gyp! certainly, by all means. I-(Blushington rushes off, drawing the table-cloth—which he has fastened to his button-hole-after him, overturning the whole of the dinner things.) (Exeunt.)

VIII. FROM PAUL PRY.-Poole,

TANKARD-BILLY-OLDBUTTON-PAUL PRY.

(Enter Tankard and Billy.)

Tankard. Now, Billy, as this is the first week of your ser vice, you must stir about you, look well to the customers, and see they want nothing.

Billy. I warrant me, sir; though the folks say I look harmless, I'm sharp; I carry my wits about me in a case, as my grandmother carries her scissors; but, sir, when I like, I can draw and cut, I assure you.

Tan. Well, this is to be proved; now you know what you have to do, to-day.

Bil. First, there's to attend to Captain Hawkesley, in the blue room; he that locks himself up all day, and only comes out with the stars. Then there's to look to the fire-works, when the company arrives. Then there's to get ready the room that you call the Elephant, for the new company, Mr. Oldbutton, and and the last of all

Tan. To get rid of that impudent Paul Pry.

Bil. I'll do it, sir.

Tan. Will you? it's more than I can; I have only taken this inn six months, and he's been here every day. First, he asked me where I got the money to take the house; then, if I was married; whether my wife bore an excellent character; whether my children had had the measles: and, as I wouldn't answer any of these questions, he hoped he didn't intrude, but begged to know how many lumps of sugar I put into a crown bowl of punch.

Bil, Oh! sir, that's nothing to what he asked me last night; he asked me whether you gave me good wages.

Tan. Well, and I hope you gave him an answer.

Bil. Yes, I did, sir.

Tan. What did you say?

Bil. Why, I told him my wages were like his good manners; very little of 'em, but I hoped they would both soon mend. Tan. Well, Billy, only rid me of this intolerable Paul, and your wages shall mend. Here has this Mr. Pry, although he has an establishment of his own in the town, been living and sleeping here these six days! But I'm determined to get rid of him; and do you instantly go, Billy, and affront him; do any thing with him, so as you make him turn his back upon the house. Eh, here's a coach driven up; it is surely Mr. Oldbutton; run, Billy, run. (Exit Billy.) Roaring times, these. (Billy enters, showing in Mr. Oldbutton.) Welcome, sir, most welcome to the Golden Chariot.

Mr. Oldbutton. Landlord, I have some letters to answer; which is my apartment?

Tan. Why, sir; confound that Paul Pry, he has the gentleman's room, and I can't get him out of it; why, sir, I did not

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