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trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered | Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, servingman, a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. [Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, and fullam holds,

Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?

Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and

here's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.

Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's

rest.

Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh; a fico for the phrase!

Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Pist. Why then, let kibes ensue.

Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch;

I must shift.

Pist. Young ravens must have food.

Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist. Two yards, and more.

Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two vards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.

Nym. The anchor is deep: Will that humour pass?

Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say I.

Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.

Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
Nym. I thank thee for that humour.

:

Fal. O, she did discourse o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass! Here's another letter to her she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all ! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of repu

tation.

Fal. Hold, sirrab, [to Roв.] bear you these letters tightly;

Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!

And high and low beguile the rich and poor; Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk!

Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.

Pist. Wilt thou revenge?

Nym. By welkin, and her star!
Pist. With wit, or steel?

Nym. With both the humours, I:

I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold,

How Falstaff, varlet vile,

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,

And his soft couch defile.

Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness; for the revolt of mien is dangerous : that is my true humour.

Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. Caius's House.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What: John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if be do, i'faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit RUGBY.

Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way; but nobody but has his fault-but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick. And master Slender's your master?
Sim. Ay, forsooth.

Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard like a glover's paring knife?

Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face. with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beara. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.

Quick. How say you?-O, I should remember him; Does he not hold up his head, as it were? and strut in his gait?

Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.

Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish

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Enter Doctor CAIUS.

Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like these toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; Do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.

Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la Cour,—la grande affaire.

Quick. Is it this, sir?

Caius. Ony; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche, quickly:-Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Rug. Here, sir.

Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.

Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.

Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad!

Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?— Villainy! larron! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier.

Quick. Good master, be content.

Caius, Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: He came of an errand to me from parson Hugb.

Caius. Vell.

Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue :-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mrs. Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.

Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper: Tarry you a little-a while.

[Writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: If he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so load, and so melancholy;-But notwithstanding, man, I'll do your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself:

Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand.

Quick. Are you avis'd o'that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early and down late ;but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,-that's neither bere nor there.

Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape prest to meddle or make :-you may be gone; it is Bot good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his

two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?— by gar, I will kill de Jack Priest; and 1 have appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon :-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.

Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to de court vit me ::-By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY.

Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind, than I do : nor can do more than I do with her, I

thank Heaven.

Fent. [Within.] Who's within there? ho! Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

Enter FENTON.

Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne ?

Quick. In troth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise Heaven for it.

Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

Quick. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry have I; what of that?

Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale;-good faith, it is such another Nan;-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :-We had an hour's talk of that wart :-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly, and musing: But for you-Well,

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Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precision, he admits him not for his counsellor: You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; Ha! ha! then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; Would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, (at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice,) that I love thee. I will not say, pity me, 'tis not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, love me. By me,

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What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world!-one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my com pany!-What should I say to him?-I was then frugal of my mirth:-heaven forgive me!--Why I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.

Enter Mistress FORD.

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house!

Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary.

Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do, then; yet, I say, I could show you to the contrary: O, Mistress Page, give

me some counsel !

Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour!

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour: What is it?-dispense with trifles ;what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would go but to hell for an eternal moment, or so, I could be knighted.

Mrs. Page. What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! -These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs. Ford. We burn day-light-here, read, read;-perceive how I might be knighted.-I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking: And yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty And gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere and keep place together than the hundredth psalm to the tune of Green sleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this whale with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?

Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs ?-To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, 1

protest, mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names (sure more), and these are of the second edition: He will print them out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press when I had rather be a giantess, he would put us two. and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.

Mrs. Ford. Why this is the very same; the very hand, the very words: What doth he think of us? Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure to keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be reveng'd on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a show of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine baited delay, til he hath pawn'd his horses to mine host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any villany against him, that may not sully the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy,

Mrs. Page. Why, look, where he comes; and my good man too; he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unnie asurable distance.

Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight: Come hither. [They retire.

Enter FORD, PISTOL, PAGE, and NYм.

Ford. Well, I hope, it be not so.
Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs :
Sir John affects thy wife.

Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young.

Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and poor,

Both young and old, one with another, Ford;
He loves thy gally-mawfry; Ford, perpend.
Ford. Love my wife?

Pist. With liver burning hot: Prevent, or go

thou,

Like sir Acteon he, with Ring-wood at thy heels:O, odious is the name!

Ford. What name, sir?

Pist. The horn, I say: Farewell. Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by night:

Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do
sing.-
Away, sir corporal Nym..
Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Exit PISTOL.
Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this.

Nym. And this is true; [to PAGE.] I like not the humour of lying. He hath wronged me in some humours: I should have borne the humoured letter to her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name is corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch. 'Tis true;-my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wite.-Adieu! I love n t the humour of bread and cheese; and there's the humour of it. Adieu. [Exit NYM. Page. The humour of it, quoth 'a! here's a fellow frights humour out of his wits.

Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.

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Ford. Do you think there is truth in them?

Page. Hang 'em, slaves; I do not think the knight would offer it: but these that accuse him in bis intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his discarded men very rogues, now they be out of service.

Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry, they were.

Ford. I like it never the better for that.-Does

he lie at the Garter?

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn her loose to him; and what he gets of her more than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loth to turn them together: A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Garter comes there is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily.

How now, mine host'

Enter HOST and SHALLOW. Host. How now, bully-rook! thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero justice, I say.

Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand.

Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him, bullyrook.

Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between eir Hugh the Welch priest, and Caius the French doctor.

Ford. Good mine host o'the Garter, a word with you.

Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook?

[They go aside. Shal. Will you [to PAGE] go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, he hath appointed them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.

Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?

Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him, my name is Brook; only for a jest.

:

Host. My hand, bully thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight.-Will you go on, hearts?

Shal. Have with you, mine host.

Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes,

stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the beart,

master Page; 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the
four tall fellows skip like rats.
time, with my long sword, I would have made you

Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you:-I had rather hear them scold than fight. [Exeunt HOST, SHALLOW, and PAGE.

Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands
so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off
Page's house; and, what they made there, I know
my opinion so easily: She was in his company at
not. Well, I will look further into't: and I have
a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her bonest, I
lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour
well bestowed.
[Exit.

SCENE II.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL.

Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.

Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open.-
will retort the sum in equipage.

I

Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked through the grate like a geminy of baboons. I am damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were good soldiers, and tall fellows: and when mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took't upon minehonour, thou hadst

it not.

Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fifteen pence?

Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me, I am no gibbet for you:-go.-A short knife and a throng;-to your manor of Pickthatch, go,-You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue! You stand upon your honour!-Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do, to keep the terms of my honour precise. I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cata-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and

vour bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour' You will not do it, you?

Pist. I do relent: What would'st thou more of

man?

Enter ROBIN.

messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too :-and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other: and she bade me

Bob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from Fal. Let her approach.

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home; but, she hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.

Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for't!

Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's

Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how

first hour I was born.

Fal. I do believe the swearer: What with me? Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

they love me?

Quick. That were a jest, indeed!—they have not so little grace, I hope that were a trick, indeed! But mistress Page would desire you to send her Fal. Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouch-your little page, of all loves; her husband has a safe thee the hearing.

Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir ;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself dwell with master doctor Caius.

Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, Quick. Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways.

Ful. I warrant thee, nobody hears;-mine own people, mine own people.

Quick. Are they so? Heaven bless them, and make them his servants!

Fal. Well: Mistress Ford ;-what of her? Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray!

marvellous infection to the little page: and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does; do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and, truly, she deserves it: for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.

Fal. Why, I will.

Quick. Nay, but do so then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion as they say, and know the world.

Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both : there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor-Boy, go along with this woman.- This news distracts me. [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN.

Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them [Exit PISTOL.

all!

Fal. Mis'ress Ford ;-come, mistress Ford,Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knigh's, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, (all musk) and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways: I'll and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such make more of thy old body than I have done. Will wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest, that they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the exwould have won any woman's heart; and I war-pense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good rant you, they could never get an eye-wink of body, I thank thee: Let them say, 'tis grossly her. I had myself twenty angels given me this done; so it be fairly done, no matter. morning; but I defy all angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way of honesty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below sip on a cup with the proudest of them all; and would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pen-you; and hath sent your worship a morning's sioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury.

Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times: and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven.

Fal. Ten and eleven?

draught of sack.

Enter BARDolph.

Fal. Brook, is his name?
Bard. Ay, sir.

Fal. Call him in; [Exit BARDOLPH.] Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor. Ah! ha mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encompassed you? go to; via!

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised.
Ford. Bless you, sir.

Fal. And you, sir: would you speak with me?
Ford. I make bold, to press with so little pre-

Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of;master Ford, her husband, will be from home; Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very fram-paration upon you. pold life with him, good heart.

Fal. You're welcome; what's your will? Give [Exit BARDOLPH. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent

Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to us leave, drawer. her; I will not fail her.

Quick. Why you say well: But I have another much; my name is Brook.

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