CHAP. VIII.

SOME RULES FOR THE SUPPRESSION OF SINFUL

ANGER.

1. Let us study the importance of domestic happiness and tranquillity. Husbands should not be bitter against their wives; parents should not provoke their children to anger; masters must forbear threatening. The intemperate passion of superiors is often veiled under the excuse of necessary strictness, and maintaining of authority. But we should not ruin domestic peace by being always chiding; every little default should not put us into a flame; we should not be easily provoked; small offences should be passed by, and when such are committed as call for reproof, it should be given without heat and fury. Fiery and hasty carriage, scurrilous and indecent language, will at once sink our character, lessen our authority, and wound our family peace: noise and clamour will render us contemptible and ridiculous, and convince our domestics, that we are so far from being fit to govern others, that we are unable to govern ourselves.

H

A due expression of displeasure against what is wrong and such as is necessary to the reformation of the offender, will very well comport with the meekness of wisdom. Awful gravity and composedness, tempered with mildness and good-will, would preserve our authority, and command that respect which we wish to secure, more than noise, bluster, and wrathful chiding. We were once inferiors ourselves; and should treat those who are now under us, as we then wished to be treated. The happy medium between Eli's indulgence, and Nabal's brutal churlishness, should be studied by us, if we would preserve peace and good order in our dwellings. Of the latter it is said, He was such a churl, such a son of Belial, that a man could not speak to him. Let a bear robbed of her whelps meet a man rather than such a fury. There is no peace where he comes.

Inferiors in families should be mild, gentle, teachable, and submissive; not answering again; not sullen or froward; not giving way to unjust and unreasonable murmurings, or complaints without a cause. Equals should study to please, and endeavour to oblige one another for mutual advantage. For behold how good and pleasant a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the dew of Hermon, which descended on the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord commanded the blessing.

There is not, perhaps, a more mischievous source of anger and resentment in families, than the fond partiality of parents to their children. Of all the infirmities (says Dr. Hunter) to which our nature is subject, none is more common, none is more unreasonable, unwise and unjust, none is more fatal in its consequences to ourselves and others, than that of making a difference between one child and another. It discourages him or her who is slighted, and it frequently ruins the favourite. It sows the seed of jealousy, anger, discord, and malice, which frequently produce innumerable mischiefs in families, which embitter the lives of both parents and children. It sets the father against the mother, and the mother against the father; the sister against the brother, and the brother against the sister. Parents ought to examine, and to watch over themselves carefully on this head. If they are unable to suppress the feelings of their own hearts, the expression thereof at least is in their power: and both policy and justice demand of them an equal distribution of their affection, their countenance, and their possessions. If there be a folly which more certainly than another punishes itself, it is this ill-judged distinction of which we are speaking.

Some of the best and wisest of men have erred in this particular. In the patriarchal age, we find both Isaac and Jacob caught in the same snare, Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his veni

son; and Rebekah loved Jacob: this disturbed the repose of Isaac's family. It was not long before the effect of parental partialities appeared; a competition for precedency and the rights of primogeniture engaged the attention of the two brothers, and inflamed their minds against each other from their earliest years. The claims of each were supported respectively by the parents, according to favour; and the family was torn and distracted with internal dissension. The trifling circumstances of personal likeness, of beauty, and the like, which in themselves have neither merit nor demerit, have been known to establish distincrions in families which have been destructive of peace, and promotive of ruin. It is difficult indeed to bear an even hand between one child and another, and to prevent jealousies and animosities; but the difficulty makes it more necessary to be prudent and circumspect.

How shocking it is to live a life of tumult and contention in our families; to have perpetual disquietudes in our own houses, where above all other places we should be concerned to maintain peace! If a man has not peace at home, where can he expect it? Neither sacred nor civil concerns go on well amidst strife and contention. Our prayers will be hindered, our converse and mutual edification prevented, our convivial repasts embittered, our rest discomposed, and our comforts

destroyed. Let us study to be quiet, let us be of one mind, let us live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with us. His blessing which maketh rich shall rest upon us. Blessed are

the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.-Some are complaisant, gentle, and good-humoured among strangers, but morose and ill-natured at home: this is hypocrisy. It shows how little they are concerned for the comfort of their families, and that the fear of man has a greater restraint over their passions than the fear of God.-Great prudence and patience are often called for in relative life. Socrates had his Xantippe, Abigail her churlish Nabal, Job a wife who tempted him to curse God, Moses a Zipporah, averse to duty, and David a scoffing Michal.

2. When we have given just offence to any one, we should be ready to acknowledge it.-When we have committed an error, our pride prompts us to vindicate it, and to stand it out. We fancy our honour is concerned: but penitence and humble submission would, in such a case, be a thousand times more to our credit. Yielding pacifieth great offences. Most men are sensibly touched with the ambition of credit and reputation, yet few consider properly either wherein these lie, or what is the right way of obtaining them. Meekness and gentleness in the point of true honour have the preference to resentment and obstinacy, both in the sight of God and men. He that is slow to