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be desired, and wherever we may meet with courtesy, how little would it avail, if we do not meet with it in our own family. “11th mo. 18th. This morning and noon had much feeling of sadness and depression, and was ready to say, from whence shall I hope for deliverance P In the afternoon two dear Friends appeared in testimony in the meeting. The season was awful and sweetly humiliating. Thy eternal power, O infinite Governor of heaven and earth ! Thy eternal power can cause even the mountains to flow down, and the hills that appeared to swell to a height insurmountable to pass away, as with the steps of the tender lamb. Oh! may our eye and our heart be turned to Thee, and all that is within us, bow before Thee!
Her prospects of visiting Africa—Proposes the subject to her Friends in London—Undertakes the Education of two African Natives in London, principally with a view of acquiring from them a knowledge of the Jaloof Language. “11th mo. 20th. 1817. AN apprehension has seized upon my mind this morning, that after having finished the little books I am preparing for the children of Sierra-Leone, it will be my duty to attempt the introduction of them myself into that colony and the neighbourhood, and even to attempt the reduction of unwritten languages. I would not go merely under a profession of opening a school or schools, but to proceed to the religious instruction of the children; for my heart feels an engagement towards them, that cannot probably be fulfilled without going there. “In sitting with my dear Friends at Ackworth the last evening I was there, though disposed to enjoy conversation with two or three of them especially, yet the sound of Sierra-Leone was so in my ear that I was silent mostly ; till, in the evening, the conversation became more private, from the company having generally separated. One Friend, but young in years, sat down by me, and made this impressive remark: “There are some precepts of Christianity which have appeared to me, at first view, as of very easy attainment, yet afterwards, as difficult, and of very high attainment. The disposition to say, After all we can do, we are unprofitable servants, we have done that which was our duty to do;' to be able to say this, felt to him a very difficult and, at the same time, a very necessary attainment. And so it is. Unless we have this simplicity of mind—this willingness to acknowledge that nothing is our own, and we are in ourselves unprofitable—we cannot, I conceive, so act in the Divine will as to produce all the effect which right feeling would produce. “I am ready to tremble at what I have written with regard to a visit to Sierra-Leone, and to doubt whether such an encounter with an element which I fear, and in so distant and wild a scene, is required. But wherefore should we expect to choose our employment * I have been ready to say, were it in Russia, or even Siberia, how much easier would it appear than to Sierra-Leone 2 I remember the shrinking feelings I had in looking at the wide sea in the dusk of the evening at Scarborough, and in remembering a dear Friend who had committed himself to the waves, and was far from land. But he is now returned, and a protecting Providence was with him; and why, if duty only appears plain, why should I recoil or draw back 2 1 will try to be still, and hope clearly to know what is best, and not give way to any apprehension of my own creating. Oh! may I not shrink from the call of duty, whatever it may be, but resign my life and my all to Him to whom all is due. “ 11th mo. 24th. I retain the following extract of a letter written this month to a dear sister in Christ, as a memorandum of the views I then entertained. ‘The great point is, that love and obedience should prevail in those who have not yet fulfilled the work of their day, and have a few more years, or it may be a shorter time, to remain in this land of probation; this wilderness, in which the bitters and the sweets are so mysteriously blended, that if we were even allowed to choose what should be our portion, as to the apparent enjoyments of life, we should scarcely dare to do it. Oh! then, that our hearts may be daily led into the disposition which would, in true humility and sincerity, utter that prayer, “Lead me, and I will follow Thee.' Ah! my friend, it is not in any outward advantage that our happiness consists; and therefore, so far from desiring to choose for ourselves, I do not know that there is anything more to be feared in the world, than the state of some of the people of Israel, “He gave them their desire, and sent leanness, withal, into their souls.” Well, then, let us be willing to do anything, or to resign anything, if only we may be favoured to be fed with that “bread from heaven,” of which those who eat, shall hunger no more. “28th. A few days ago I took a number of the youngest children of the Lancasterian School into the committee-room; and, in instructing them from a very few short and impressive passages of the Scriptures, we had a time of sweet intercourse and conversation, such as I think I shall never forget; and I long to have the same children with me again, and to endeavour, with the blessing of Him with whom alone is the power, to lead their infant hearts to the acknowledgment of Him in whom “we live, and move, and have our being, and who is ever merciful and good to all; and who wills that all should be merciful and good to one another. “The difficulties about winds and waves which G
I have felt, when thinking of Sierra-Leone, appeared to-day so much less than they did, and my desires to be instrumental in serving the Africans so to increase, that I think I should esteem it a great favour, if the way should open for me to enter into such a concern. Many difficulties present themselves, but I trust that, at the right season, the way will be made plain. “12th mo. 20th. The time is come in which it appears to me to be right to inform a few friends of the prospect before me, of a duty to my younger brethren and sisters of the African continent. I wish to go to Sierra-Leone, as a school-missionary, for the instruction of the children in that colony and its neighbourhood. Besides instruction in the week-days, I should wish to assemble the children at least once on first-days, to read to them such religious narratives and counsels as they may appear likely to understand, and to express to them any feeling that may present for communication, or any remark on the subjects that have been read; and occasionally to direct their attention to the silent remembrance of that infinite Being by whose mercy and goodness they were created. “Let me further say, I have no design to settle very long as a missionary in Africa. How I may go on such an errand I know not; but I would rather dispose of all I possess, as to pecuniary matters, than not engage in this work. “3rd mo. 9th, 1818. Having laid this subject before some dear friends, it is a great consolation that, with the exception of one, all have expressed their entire concurrence. “ 18th. The more we have to do, the more is simplicity and quietness and watchfulness unto